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I was scared while writing the first paragraph of my Gears of War cover story. Not because I was calling one of the most famous game designers on the planet a dick -- I was worried my editorial director would not approve of my playground vocabulary.

I consulted Crispin Boyer, the former senior editor of Electronic Gaming Monthly and a very good buddy of mine. He always kills it when it comes to penning bad-ass story introductions, and I knew he'd tell me whether I had a good one or not. He loved it, telling me he wanted to read more, so I knew I had a winner.

My editorial director approved as well, and thus, my favorite personal first-liner was born.

That's the key: You have to write a good intro. You have to make a reader want to read more. Otherwise, no one will ever get to the meat of your story.

In this edition of Bitmob Writing Tips, I offer some quick dos and don'ts for jump-starting your articles. And at the end of this post, I'm giving away a free code to a downloadable game for someone here to write about. Hopefully, he'll come up with a bad-ass intro.

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Did you know that today is Safer Internet Day? Neither did I. Suddenly, this article I've been planning about how to get kids on Xbox Live to give you all of their parents' money doesn't sound like such a good idea. I mean...what article? Hey, look over there!

News Blips:

Do you want to see a sequel to Psychonauts? So does Minecraft creator Markus "Notch" Persson. "I'd love to do that game, but I'd have to convince someone to just give me a few million dollars, that's all," Double Fine chief Tim Schafer told Digital Spy last week. It just so happens that Notch has a few million dollars, so the block magnate reached out to Schafer over Twitter earlier today. We can hardly confirm Psychonauts 2 at this point, but the project has gone from "fool's hope" to "actual hope" in a single tweet. If it moves forward, we'll have that many more nerds free to ask Valve about Half-Life 3.

Kinect Star Wars and the droidified Xbox 360 Kinect bundle have received a new release date of April 6. The bundle will set you back 450 Republic credits and includes a blue-and-white astromech-styled console and Kinect, a shiny gold controller, and a copy of Kinect Star Wars. Microsoft has also released screenshots of the game's fifth mode, "Galactic Dance Off," which is exactly what it sounds like. I know a lot of people were disappointed they couldn't hop onto the Internet and call the Kinect title out for ruining their childhoods back during the holiday season, but their wait will be over soon. [Joystiq]

Good news if you were bummed out about team captain Tomáš Rosický's absence in FIFA 12: Publisher Electronic Arts has secured a four-year deal to include the Czech National Team in future installments.  “For all our fans that support and love Czech soccer, this will only add to the authentic FIFA experience they enjoy," said EA Sports' Vice President and GM of Soccer, Matt Bilbey. Series fans can look forward to leading their virtual Czechs to victory with such players as midfielder Jaroslav Plašil, forward Tomáš Pekhart, and goalkeeper Petr Čech.

I copied all of those names from Wikipedia.

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Do you have any hot news tips you'd like to share? Fire them off to our webzone: tips@bitmob.com.

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Occasionally, you get an absolutely hysterical press release in this business, or an article entirely based on one. Case in point; Publisher/developer Electronic Arts tried to make some hay last week for not online pass-locking any content in its upcoming Syndicate reboot. That became news-worthy because such things now qualify as unusual.

Might I suggest next time you just use the door?

If you're unaware, the online pass partitions off a certain portion of the on-disk content for first-time users only. Input the one-time-only code that comes with a brand-new game, and you get the full works. Otherwise, you have to pay extra to get it as downloadable content. Publishers call it an anti-piracy device, but that's a lie. If they wanted to discourage piracy, the code would unlock the entire game, not just one corner of it. No, they want the online pass to kneecap the used-game business, pure and simple.

Personally, I count the online pass as a fairly ingenious device when used correctly. But no sooner did I list out my rules for a good online pass than I threw in Resistance 3 and Battlefield 3, both of which broke my guidelines by locking the multiplayer modes. Twisted Metal and Mass Effect 3 will follow suit.

That's unacceptable, reprehensible, and detrimental to the industry all at once.

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The 3DS is a portable console, so a key feature is the ease of carrying it and taking it from place to place. When considering the portability of competing platforms like iOS and Android smartphones, this is especially important.

By itself, Nintendo’s 3D handheld is fairly pleasing to the eye. Its sleek, shiny design even lends to comfort while playing. The biggest flaw of the console's design is not what's on the outside, but what’s on the inside -- the battery.

This limitation led to many third parties developing external-battery add-ons. While helpful, they ruin part of the charm of a portable console. No power cords, no controllers, and no television, all you need should already in the little, magical box.

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Professor Layton is fairly keen on cups of tea as he goes about his puzzling adventures. I doubt he drinks the more adult variety around his assistant Luke, however [via I Feel the Cosmos]:

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz Earl Grey-infused gin

1 oz white Creme de Cacao

3/4 oz Cointreau

2 oz cream

1 sugar cube

Orange bitters

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Think of classic video-game characters. Now take away their clothes and flesh. How many meaty protagonists can you recognize just by looking at their bones?

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The green light on my 3DS, which indicates a successful StreetPass, only ever lights up in my bedroom. Does anyone else think that this means a family of portable gamers is living in my wall?

News Blips:

 

Indie studio Adhesive Games will release its multiplayer mech game Hawken on December 12. As an industry, we spent what felt like 40 years covering World War 2. When that got old, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare noobtubed a path for a more contemporary setting. Now that style has grown as wrinkly as a Republican primary, and many gamers are itching for something new. May I nominate Hawken as the template for a new wave of first-person shooters? The gorgeous-looking mech title was created using the Unreal Engine 3 and features giant robots shooting each other in the CPU with huge cannons and sniper rifles. Hawken will be web-based and free-to-play when it finally goes live at the end of the year, and gamers can sign up for the closed beta at playhawken.com right now. December is a long ways off, but I won't hold that against Adhesive -- it must be difficult implementing a satisfactory tea-bagging mechanic in a giant-robot game. [VentureBeat]

Saints Row: The Third’s design director thinks that a console that cannot play used games would be a “fantastic change” for the industry. Jameson Durall, design director at Volition, wrote a blog about how to deal with used games. After hitting on a few points about supporting a product with DLC and selling retail titles digitally at a reduced price, he got to the rumor that the next Xbox would be unable to play used games. “Personally, I think this would be a fantastic change for our business and even though the consumers would be up in arms about it at first...they will grow to understand why and that it won’t kill them,” Durall wrote. He did acknowledge that this method would cause complications for gamers who lend to friends and for rental companies. To Durall, however, the extra cash in developer pockets is worth slightly inconveniencing customers and other businesses. [Destructoid]

Microsoft Flight will leap to PC on February 29 for free. The simulator will come bundled with the largest Hawaiian island, while the rest will be purchasable on the same day in the Hawaiian Adventure Pack for $19.99. Two additional planes, the Maule M-7-260C utility aircraft and a North Americna P-51 Mustang fighter plane, will also be available for purchase in regular versions for $7.99 and deluxe models for $14.99. That’s a bit pricey, and you don’t even get peanuts -- what is this, Delta Airlines?

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Got any hot news tips? Send 'em over to tips@bitmob.com.

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It's that time again: Bitmob Big 10 time. Despite the post-holiday doldrums, our stalwart community writers have served up another tasty helping of gaming news, reactions, analysis, and humor.

And this is one of our biggest months yet; the competition for the top 10 was fierce, and many articles that didn't make it would have led the list in other months. We're growing, and it's all thanks to you -- congrats!

Here are the most-read community stories for January 2012:

10. Understanding the "other": Racism in Skyrim by Steven Sukkau

9. Why Uncharted 3 does a bad job telling a good story by Chris Charlton

8. Five games that make it more fun to be evil by Steven Sukkau

7. Games journalism failed us with Amy by James Pugh

6. The Xbox Live security crisis by Brad Grenz

5. 8 lessons games should have learned from comics by Matthew Anfuso

4. The 5 biggest gaming disappointments of 2011 by Corey Burres

3. Why Arkham City is a better role-playing game than Skyrim by Matt Perez

2. The problem with Skyrim is progress by Rick Curnutte

1. New consoles? No thanks.... by Tom Bunting

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Do you want to be on next month's list? Here are some tips:

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It's amazing how the voice of one of the most iconic characters in video games was created right on the spot. I'll never forget the first time I walked by Super Mario 64 at Toys "R" Us only to hear him yell, "It's-a me! Mario!"

Video Blips:

• Charles Martinet takes us back 20 years to a simpler time when he first auditioned for the part of Mario. Now I want to know how other famous voice actors came across the right sound.

Continue after the break to see a sliver of story in Skullgirls, some of the most stylized visuals of 2012 in The Cat that Got the Milk, and a fighting game that will definitely be overlooked, Phantom Breaker.

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Picture yourself immersed in a new game, and so far it’s good. It plays well, has a fun combat system, and a world that’s engaging. Everything seems right. Everything seems to work.

So you play on, beat a boss, solve a puzzle, or just somehow progress the story forward when it happens and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong. It tends to be during a beautifully rendered cut-scene, when you’re marveling at the artwork and at the graphics. Suddenly...BAM! A bad line of dialogue ruins your experience forever. It feels like getting punched by a dinosaur.

We’ve all seen it before; bad writing spoils an otherwise worthy title. The dialogue is clunky and dry, the villain is comically over the top, or your character’s love interest is beyond obnoxious, and you just want them to die. Die in a fire. Pair any of these examples with bad voice acting, and any self-respecting player will just put the controller down.

This industry constantly strives for visual perfection, but it often ignores stories and spoken words. Countless games look great; technological advancements have made it very easy for things to look pretty. Most studios can create breathtaking images, but they can’t seem to tell a joke, make us cry, or get us to care about the death of a nonplayer character (NPC).

This has been the norm for years, and we put up with it. However, as Bob Dylan once said, "the times they are a-changin'." Developers like Bioware and Bethesda are hiring authors to help tell their stories, and these two companies seem to only make bestsellers. The rest of the industry is starting to catch on. People are realizing that good writing can take a decent game and turn it into one that is beyond banana pancakes awesome. This is the future.

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GameTrailers explores another Grand Theft Auto myth with their Pop Fiction series. This time, they look into Grand Theft Auto 3's ghost town, an area inaccessible without the help of an airplane or a couple of cheats. I think it's always fun to discover areas of a game's world that the developer never intended you to visit. It's sort of like spitting in the face of God. Just, you know, without the eternal damnation.

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A while back, I may have said that the name "Final Fantasy" needs to die, so to speak. And while I may still hold the small belief that Square Enix could benefit in some way if it dumped the title, I do understand the selling point behind it: "Final Fantasy" represents one of -- if not the -- biggest role-playing game series ever. 

And that is why every game that bears the name will suffer an immense amount of scrutiny. 

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