Countdown Clocks Can Go to Hell!

I was reading Kotaku the other day when I came across a story about Sega launching a countdown clock on their website. That was the straw that broke this camel's back. I can't keep my rage inside any longer. I hate these damn things! Countdown clocks can go to hell!

I don't know who first got the bright idea to put a timer on a website and have it count down to some mysterious, mystical, marvelous announcement, and I don't really care. I'm sure it was probably a good idea at the time and it garnered a lot of coverage for the product. Whatever. What does bother me is that these creatively bankrupt publishers and PR firms can't come up with a new way to promote their games.

That's not actually what bothers me the most. What really gets me fired up is that these stupid countdown clocks never count down to anything good!

We recently suffered through a Metal Gear countdown that -- forgive me if I don't get this exactly right -- counted down to a new countdown, which then in turn counted down to another count down. I'm pretty sure that counted down to another countdown, but I'm not positive. I don't even know what the hell they announced. It might have been the Metal Gear game that's on the Xbox 360 or the one on the PSP. Maybe it never even announced anything and it was just a test to see how many gaming websites would continue to post stories about a website that did absolutely nothing.

At least the MGS website was better than the Bungie countdown debacle of 2008. Right when it hit 12:00:00 Microsoft stopped the countdown because the time wasn't right for the announcement. Yep, they determined the precise second they wanted to reveal their big news, made a countdown clock to share that with the world, and then changed their minds and announced absolutely nothing. Kind of like the Super Smash Brothers website that shocked the world when its timer hit all zeros. Who can ever forget where they were when the website updated and said "Starting Today." Man, that was so awesome.

Certainly these companies have learned from previous mistakes and are making sure these countdown clocks aren't a big waste of time. Let's take a look at two current countdowns and see what the big payoff is, shall we?

Sega.com/Jackpot
Oh look, a lever! Let's click it and watch some balls roll out of it! That was fun! I wonder what it's for? It's for a new Super Monkey Ball game. How do I know? Well Kotaku looked at the source code and it said "Super Monkey Ball" in it. That text now been changed, which does nothing but confirm the theory. Kotaku also found a patent filing a month ago for a new Super Monkey Ball game called Super Monkey Ball Step and Roll.

This is a stupid website for a number of reasons. For starters, there's no reason anyone should even end up on this page. I don't see anything on the main Sega page that tells me about any exciting jackpot countdown that I should be visiting. But the real reason it's stupid is because it's for Super Monkey Ball. Sure, the first two SMB's were fine games, but that was like seven or eight years ago. Nobody cares about Super Monkey Ball anymore! I know Sega's usually the last to hear about their games jumping the shark, but goodness gracious, this is ridiculous.

CommandAndConquer.com
Remember the other week when news of C&C 4 leaked and then the game was confirmed a day or two later? Me too. Don't you think that would have been a good time to have a big reveal for the game's trailer? Me too. It seems that the brain trust promoting the game disagrees -- they've got some grand scheme that will rock your socks off. Or not.

A quick visit to CommandAndConquer.com was like a quick visit to hell for me. There's a countdown clock, but this countdown clock doesn't leave you guessing as to how you'll be disappointed when it runs out, it lets you know well in advance that all your getting is a trailer. Huzzah!

Amazingly, that's not the worst part about this countdown site. No, the worst part is the auto-play video that features what can only be described as the most annoying person in the world screaming about how awesome this game is and that we should check back in a week so he can scream at us again, only this time with actual game info.

So there you have it; nobody has learned anything from previous countdown debacles and the current countdown sites are as lame as the old ones. Great job everyone; you got me to write bad things about your videogame. Keep up the top-notch PR work!

Tags: Microsoft, Sega, Metal Gear, Bungie, Countdown clocks, Super Smash Brothers, Super Monkey Ball

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Toby Davis

July 17, 2009

I hate countdowns as well and fell the same way.

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Chris "Cosmo" Ross

I'm pretty sure Tycho (of Penny Arcade fame) prophesied about this very phenomenon awhile back. I'll try and find it. And the Metal Gear one is what did it for me.

Chad Tobin

I hope this is a joke, because if not this is one of the most unintentionally funny things I have read on bitmob. If it is a joke major props.

Aaron Thomas

July 18, 2009

You hope that it's a joke that I hate them, that I have such venom towards them, or that they exist? I'll admit I might have gotten a little carried away with the hatred, but I stand by my assertion that countdown clocks are insanely idiotic tools used by uncreative and complacent PR-types.

Callum Rakestraw

Agreed. These countdowns are ridiculous. Especially sense some have had they're announcements leaked before the countdown ends (as was the case with [url=http://www.gamespot.com/news/6212834.html?tag=result;title;0]Square Enix's recent countdown[/url], and I believe the Metal Gear one had that happen as well, though I'm not entirely sure if that was indeed the case), which makes the whole countdown pointless, seeing as they could have just announced the game and avoided the leak entirely. But no, they can't do that. That would be too simple. So instead they resort to these ridiculous countdowns. And they ought to stop doing this, as they getting out of control -- or rather they did with the multiple countdown timers for the Metal Gear games. Which, for me, was the last straw. That many countdowns was just unnecessary. One is bad enough, but three or four (I can't remember how many there were exactly) is just too much.

Luke McKinney

July 19, 2009

You are not alone: not only in hating countdowns, but in [url=http://www.gamespy.com/articles/100/1003416p1.html]ranting about them online[/url]. I agree wholeheartedly, especially about the Kojima countdown-to-a-countdown-to-a-what-the-hell-else-would-it-be?

Glen Haupt

July 20, 2009

I think that countdown clocks can do a good job of creating buzz and anticipation for whatever they're counting down to, but only if they actually, you know, [i]count down to something interesting.[/i] The Metal Gear and Bungie countdowns are perfect examples of how they can go horribly wrong. Perhaps the best way to implement a countdown clock is to incorporate it into more substantial teasers. Maybe have a website with some teaser clips and such with a countdown clock in the corner, or even have some clues as to what's being counted down to (I'd reference the Metal Gear clock, but did you see the decoding of that on Kotaku? WTF was that?!). You know, at least give people who visit the site something to do other than watch a clock. Otherwise it seems wholly worthless, at least to me. If I see a countdown clock, I look at it once (assuming there's nothing else to do on the site) and then wait for Kotaku to report on what it counted down to. Most of the time the publisher would have gotten the same amount of hype out of me from just announcing whatever they were counting down to without the clock.

@Aaron The amount of rage that was in the article just kept making me laugh. I am still not clear if it was hyperbole on purpose or not. I give you it it is a pretty lame PR tool, but I honestly don't know how you say more than that. I mean it is a countdown. I don't think I can express this much rage about some people who have been pricks to me. (I can get close though :P ).