I just don’t get it. Gaming used to literally mean you sit your ass down and play a REAL game, none of this Wii-tastic crapfests or rhythm games that make you look like a tool (i.e., DDR or any game where you hold a fake guitar and press color coded buttons that would appeal to either children or autistic people-or a combo of both).

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve played these things and had legitimate fun, but I hardly consider anything on the Wii a game, and playing guitar in real life, and sucking at it, is still better than beating Dragon Force’s “Through the Fire and Flames” on Guitar Hero’s most extreme difficulty.

I’m not some elitist hardcore jackass that fondles Sony or Microsoft’s figurative balls, I’m just a guy that believes standing and doing any movement other than of the digits is ridiculous for a video game.

With the Skynet creep-fest that is Microsoft’s Natal and Sony’s innovations with its Eyetoy, I don’t know whether to go with the flow or just jump off a bridge with my Sega Genesis and Playstation 2. I’m feeling pretty left behind with all this craziness.

I can’t help but feel like an old white person that opposed affirmative action while his thumb was lodged tenderly up his tight ass, and that bothers me. I guess it’s time for me to accept that gaming is headed in a different direction than I’ve grown up with, and that looking like a tool is the new cool- or maybe it’s not.

Either way, the show will go on…