I only play games to get chicks.

Watch out ladies...

This is the first installment of a series entitled: Gamers that piss me off. I will be examining types of gamers that really get under my skin.

First and foremost is the “I only play games to get chicks,” gamer.

Commonly found at: Parties, Frat Houses, Bars, Bathrooms with cocaine

Games: Rock band, Guitar Hero, Anything on the Wii

Favorite line: Have you ever played Rock Band?

Let’s face it, this guy is not your normal gamer. He’s probably been playing video games for less then a couple of years. In fact, I hate to credit that he PLAYS video games because the only games he plays are PARTY games. The only time he plays is when he’s at a PARTY.  If there isn’t a PARTY, or girls, or cocaine, this guy isn’t playing a video game.

The "I only play games to get chick's," goal is to go to any social gathering and hunt for a girl to take home.

“Oh sick bro! You got rock band!? Fuck ya! I love that shit. I can almost do expert on bass.”

The party moves a long and everyone is getting a try at the video game.

Once the gamer spots a girl (victim) that knows Rock Band, he moves in for the kill: “I got Rock Band at the apartment; you should come over and play.”

Their homes normally have tile stained with tar, carpets brutalized by beer, a coffee table with fast food trash, and a bong in the corner of the room. It will be an Xbox, and you will be playing with 3rd party wireless guitars.

Don’t Do It!

Girls recognize this guy with the information I have just given. Don’t fall for his trap! He doesn’t play games! (At least not video games)

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This gamer seriously pisses me off. Mainly because this is the same guy who used to think gamers were “gay,” and wouldn’t be caught dead touching a video game before Guitar Hero came out. Not only is the “I only play games to get chicks,” gamer a hypocrite, but he’s a downright slime ball using video games merely as bait to get laid. Dick.

Consider this a public service announcement.