"What are these?" the engineer asked, poking at the contents of the serving bowl in front of him.

"Those are green mushrooms," said the hedgehog seated next to him. "My buddy swears by 'em. Says they'll make you a new man."

The engineer considered this for a moment, and then shook his head.

"I'll pass," he said. "Their little faces are creeping me out. I would like some of that salad, though."

It was Thanksgiving at the Flaming Troll Inn, and the employees had converted the common area into a banquet hall by pushing all of the tables together to form one long super-table. The guests of the inn filled their plates and experienced varying levels of culture shock.

"Where is the meat?!" bellowed the naked man seated at the head of the table.

"It's right in front of you," said the space marine. Then, below his breath: "Asshole."

"Does he have to yell everything he says?" a small robot asked one of the princesses.

"I demand potatoes!" the naked man shouted.

"I guess so," replied the princess. "Would you pass the salad, please?"

"Did anyone else hear that?" asked the hedgehog.

"We all did," the space marine muttered. "He's very loud."

"Not that," said the hedgehog. "It sounded like a whistle. Huh...it's gone now. Never mind."

The guests kept eating and conversing quietly, except for the naked man, who continued to offer tirades on the dryness of the turkey and a lump he found in his gravy. A few moments later, the professor in the top hat clinked his knife a few times against his teacup and stood.

"Fellow guests," he said. "Might I suggest that we continue a tradition that was popular in my family when I was a boy? I would like us each to share something for which we are thankful. After all, gratitude is the mark of a true gentleman."

"I will go first if it stops your endless babbling!" cried the naked man.

The professor looked at him disapprovingly.

"It would be more polite to start with a lady, sir," he said.

"Enough of your mocking!" the naked man shouted. "I will have vengeance!"

He leaped out of his chair, swinging the giant blades chained to his wrists. But before he could strike, a tremendous sucking noise filled the room. The other guests closed their eyes and tried to keep their plates and personal belongings in place; when they looked up, the naked man was gone.

The professor, unfazed, was still standing. He tipped his hat to the small pink ball to his right, who was smiling contentedly and rubbing his stomach with his tiny, flipper-like arms.

"Now that that's settled," the professor said. "Shall we begin?"

"I'm thankful for fresh air and sunshine," said one of the princesses.

"Aw, she took my answer," said the other princess. "But fresh air really is the best."

The hedgehog was grateful for chili dogs and easily accessible rings.

The engineer thought for a moment and then offered, "I'm thankful that the turkey was dead before I carved it."

"Aren't we all," the professor said, chuckling.

"No, seriously."

"Let's move on, shall we?"

The physicist with the crowbar said nothing.

"I'm grateful for empty closets and God Mode," said the space marine. "And also this salad. It's delicious."

"There's that whistling again," said the hedgehog, tilting his head. "It sounds like it's--"

Suddenly, a tiny spaceship came crashing through the inn's front window. It flew around the common room in uneven loops before it straightened out and landed between the hard rolls and a carafe of blue potion. The ship projected a beam of rainbow-colored light; a little man in a spacesuit materialized inside of it.

The spaceman began running around the table, a shrill whistling noise coming from his suit. The professor raised a hand in greeting and the spaceman stopped.

"Where are they?!" he cried. "I found an incredible artifact out in the garden and I need help lifting it!"

"Maybe we can be of assistance?" the professor asked. "Who exactly are you looking for?"

"My friends!" said the spaceman. "They're tiny root-like creatures, and--oh, there they are!"

He pointed at the space marine, who had frozen with his fork raised halfway to his mouth.

"W-wha--?" the space marine stammered.

"On that amazing tuning apparatus in your hand!" said the spaceman. "Here."

He scurried over to the space marine's plate and blew his whistle again; several small things emerged from the salad, hopped off of the plate, and gathered around him.

"I could have sworn there were more of you," he said, and then shrugged. "Oh well, always more where you came from. Thanks for your assistance, aliens!"

He and the root creatures beamed back into the spaceship and flew out of the inn, breaking another window. The space marine looked at his fork for a moment and then put it down. Everyone at the table pushed their plates away and sat in silence.

"Well then," said the professor. "I shall go inquire about dessert."