The ABCs of Video Game Deaths

Jayhenningsen
Monday, November 09, 2009

Editor's note: Jay flips the script on Edward Gorey's classic illustrations of grisly demises, shifting the subject from children to video game characters. The result is an impressive display of rhyming technique and a fun walk through major and minor video game deaths. -Brett


TheGashlycrumbTiniesEdward Gorey was an illustrator who developed quite a cult following. His two most recognizable works are probably the animated introduction to the PBS show Mystery! and a series of illustrations he did called The Gashlycrumb Tinies. The Gashlycrumb Tinies depict the deaths of various children, one for each letter of the alphabet. They are also captioned in rhyming pairs.

I've always been a fan of Mr. Gorey's work, so here is my attempt to apply his brilliant idea to video game characters. I tried to keep them as recognizable as possible, but I had to resort to secondary characters at some points because rhyming became difficult, and some letters offered few choices. The meter is slightly off in a few places as well. (This was more challenging to put together than I originally thought!)

Can you guess all of the games?

 


A is for Arthas, cursed by a sword.


B is for Bowser, he fell through the floor.


C is for Cut Man, smashed by a rock.


D is for Dhalsim, he suffered a shock.


E is for Engineer, killed by a Red.


F is for Francis, shot in the head.


G is for Ganondorf, stabbed in the brain.


H is for Hogger, noobs are his bane.


I is for Inky, gobbled while fleeing.


J is for Jester, who took a tentacle beating.


K is for Kraid, who swallowed Samus's missile.


L is for Legion, reduced to a pile of gristle.


M is for Melchiah, he was ground into goo.


N is for Navarro, drowned by a statue.


O is for Ophelia, someone tore out her heart.


P is for Pious, by his own staff did he depart.


Q is for Q-bert, he jumped the wrong way.


R is for Richard, poison ended his day.


S is for Sub-Zero, burned to the bone.


T is for Tai, he ended his own.


U is for Ugh-zan, a UFO he could not withstand.


V is for Vizier, stabbed with a dagger and turned to sand.


W is for Wizard, lack of food caused his death.


X is for Xande, he was slain by Luneth.


Y is for Yuri, chomped by a T. rex back in the past.


Z is for Zoey, missed a hunter that was just too fast.


Special thanks to Giant Bomb's List of Video Game Characters, which truly made this possible.

 
Problem? Report this post
BITMOB'S SPONSOR
Adsense-placeholder
Comments (7)
Default_picture
November 08, 2009
Cool piece, Jay. I was able to guess most of the games, but there are a couple I'm unfamiliar with.
Twitpic
November 08, 2009
Nice! Like Brian, I knew most of them but some elude my memory. For instance, who is Richard?
Default_picture
November 09, 2009
Funny stuff!
Default_picture
November 10, 2009
@J. Cosmo Cohen - Richard is the guy who died in the first Resident Evil BTW, a spoiler warning would be nice. I know that it's game deaths but some of these deaths are from new games like the one in Brutal Legend and would have appreciated being warned. Not a big deal but you know, it caught me off guard.
Default_picture
November 10, 2009
@Nicholas- Second that. Now I know how Q-bert buys it. Nice, Jay.
Default_picture
November 10, 2009
Haha, I love the rhyming. Very nicely done.
Default_picture
November 12, 2009
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Rhyming was, and is, a favorite of mine. Bravo good sir!!

You must log in to post a comment. Please register if you do not have an account yet.