Editor's note: Interesting things happen when you play Civilization. I remember spinning world history on its head by conquering the Spanish Empire with the Aztecs! Seth shares some of his favorite funny moments of Civilization's version of world history. -Jason

I’ve taken enough history classes to gather a pretty good understanding of our world's history: Egyptians built the pyramids, the Greeks were a seafaring people, and talking bills sit on the steps of the United States Capitol to sing about their woes.

But after playing through Civilization: Revolution and Civilization 4, I’ve realized that the facts and realities of our history just aren’t as exciting as the history that takes place in a standard round of Civilization.

In order to spice up the old textbooks a bit, here are 10 Civ moments that I’ve experienced that can take the place of the boring information everyone already knows.

Let the absurdity begin!

Nottingham overrun by lions and bears, but not tigers
A band of barbarian lions and bears slaughtered the villagers of the English settlement of Nottingham. The village rejoined the English Empire after Queen Elizabeth built a force of five warriors in 3,500 B.C to subdue the barbarous beasts.

Lesson learned? Build a military force early so that wild animals can’t waltz in and create their own government. Pesky self-governing beasts.

Gandhi had a temper
Napoleon of France learned this the hard way. Gandhi had sent diplomats to Napoleon to offer a mutual open-borders treaty and a united attack on the American despot, George Washington. After being harshly refused by the French ruler and his isolationist ideals, Gandhi trashed Napoleon's attempts at attacking the Americans and instead started the Great Bald-Short War, which lasted for almost a thousand years, ending with the Indian ruler’s victory. Gandhi 1, Napoleon 0.

Julius Caesar, Founder of Judaism
It turns out that old Julius tired of worshipping the multiple Roman gods every day. He needed to unify his massive empire under a single religion to keep his subjects happy. His solution: found a religion based on monotheistic ideas. Well, that, and Buddhism was already taken by Tokugawa.

The Great Metropolis of !#$@
You can name cities and towns after many things. Some are named after great leaders, while others are simply named after another town.

Mao Zedong, leader of the Chinese Empire, had a very different method for naming his new commerce centers. He routinely cracked open his book of insults, naming his many cities offensive and appalling things that I can't publish here. When that got boring, he started using obscenities, and when that well ran dry, he combined obscenities.

Needless to say, Mao’s empire was never a place of great culture. His capital? The wonderful city of Bitchassschlong.

President Stalin
Joseph Stalin, the president of Russia, became the last defender of democracy abroad in the year 1901 A.D. after the defeat of the Ragnar and the Vikings at the hands of the Communist nation of the Aztec ruler Montezuma.

Thus began the period known as the Frozen War, when the two superpowers gave each other the really, really cold shoulder by closing their borders and having “annoyed” statuses toward each other.

East versus West, indeed.

The Golden Age of Shaka, the Zulu king
From the beginning of recorded history, the capital of the Zulu Empire, Ulundi, has been the cultural center of the world. Many of the greatest people in history have settled there, including Leonardo da Vinci, Moses, and Homer. This led to a very long and profitable golden age for the Zulu king Shaka. Every city in the Zulu Empire received an aqueduct and freedom from slave duties for one day.

The Mongolian Empire Established the United Nations

You're never sure what Mongolian leader Genghis Khan is up to. Instead of forging a path of war and destruction like his fellow leaders, Khan decided to take the diplomatic route. His cunning and intelligence led to the foundation of the U.N. It turns out that Khan was just a big softie on the inside. Achieving a domination victory is so 1227.

Japan Ravaged by French Trebuchets and Catapults...in the 20th Century
Creaky wheels and splintering wood isn’t exactly the most effective weaponry in the 20th century, but don’t tell Louis XIV that. His band of trebuchets and catapults traversed the Japanese countryside, burning farms and cottages, only to be defeated just outside of Kyoto by Japanese cannons. Et bien....

Roosevelt’s 14th-Century Musket Men
While Europe was busy dealing with the Black Death, Franklin Roosevelt and the American Empire was busy making a newfangled killing device: the gun. By the end of the 14th century, America had a standing army of musket men, which led to their successful conquest of Isabella and her Spanish Empire.

That was just the beginning; according to historians, the American Empire quickly became the most glorious civilization, polio be damned.

Churchill and the War Elephants
And finally, no victory in the history of civilization can trump the triumph of the English monarch Winston Churchill over Hannibal of the Carthaginians in the Battle of "Holy Shit! War Elephants!"

The battle lasted for weeks, with elephants assaulting Hannibal’s stronghold of Carthage day and night. Winston emerged victorious, but at a great cost: He lost 17 elephants from his Excellent Elephant Squad.

The battle's aftermath was a terrible sight. Tusks and trunks were strewn everywhere, and the biggest piles of poo that man had ever seen dotted the landscape. Too bad animal rights aren’t a Civic.