I use games to escape into other worlds, to live other lives I would otherwise never experience. I don’t demand that they are heavenly existences, indeed I relish in the prospect of living through things that in reality I would never want to witness. But at the end of these trials, after the saving the city, the world and the universe I seem to be becoming more and more cognisant of the fact that my character and I end up getting stiffed.

I know that the self-sacrificing hero is nothing new. Works of literature are littered with examples of the hero who gives everything for a cause. These acts of altruism serve as shining examples to us all to contradict man’s selfish nature, something to aspire to and live our lives by, even if we never do. Participating in these acts through gaming offers a greater sense of accomplishment, a feeling that we are doing right thing. It is certainly more satisfying to be the martyr than to play the protagonists who are out only for themselves. Even though my own acts are driven by a desire to complete a story, unlock a weapon or earn achievement points, I manage in some small part through my character to vicariously live their virtue.

But it’s wearing a bit thin. I have played a significant number of games in recent years, and yet it is rare indeed that at the end of my adventure did I feel I had done my character any favours by putting them through the experience. It seems that unless everybody ends up thoroughly unhappy a game doesn’t feel like it has done its job properly. I know that this is a cheap trick to facilitate a sequel, the ‘happy ending’ being trampled for the good of a franchise but this is getting out of control.

In the past few years I have left my hero: with everyone he loves dead (at least three times), stabbed, about to go to/continue in a war (three times), on the run from the police (at least once), turning into a zombie, turning in to an alien, about to be killed by his alien girlfriend, demented, fleeing from a god, an alcoholic out cast, eaten, raped, and dying or dead (in excess of twice). Set this against the up-lifting endings I remember for my antagonists and I see: a burgeoning romance, defeating a long time adversary before heading home and champion of a tournament.

It all seems a little disproportionate. I am all for pathos but this is overdoing it somewhat. Overcoming adversity within course of a story is one thing but the current trend to leave the player on a downer is becoming a little too prevalent. In a world where the majority of the news we receive doesn’t do much to lift our spirits it would be nice if my pastime of choice would.

Is it so wrong to want to feel at the end of my game that I left the world a better place, and also the ‘life’ of my avatar? Is it too much to ask that the characters I have poured so much of myself into can at least walk away from the experience without their first act to being to off themselves?

Maybe it is the games I choose to play that is the problem. But should an adult theme and story necessitate that I will be left feeling in someway unsuccessful? I am and adult, I don’t want to play Disney and ‘Imagine’ titles for the rest of my days. I want complex deep narratives but does this desire mean I am doomed to constantly be reminded that the world is an unfair place, where no amount of sacrifice or hard work will ever really make me happy or protect me from harm? I know this already, I’m nearing thirty, I don’t need to have it thrust down my throat every time I play a game.

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