Writing About Video Games As Life Moves Faster

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Borderlands

Editor's note: Aylon is a busy guy, and he doesn't have a lot of time to do what he loves -- write about video games. How do we make more time for our hobbies? My suggestion is to do what I do -- burn the candle at both ends. -James


Life is all about finding balance. When I started writing about video games just over two years ago, life was simple. I was single and I had a 9 to 5. Finding the time to play and write about games was easy. Nowadays, it's a different story.

I'm in a relationship, and I'm living with the girl of my dreams. Most days, my job keeps me until 6 p.m. When I'm free, I like to try to get out of the house and be active. It's also important to me to spend time with friends and family. Finding time to play games, while still being fair to the important people in my life, has become a challenge. Often, I don't have as much time available to play and write about games as I might wish.

So, if life is all about balance, how do you balance the people you love, your responsibilities to them, and a hobby that gives you pleasure?

 

I happen to be fortunate enough to write for New Zealand's number-one gaming website, Gameplanet. I do this out of a love for the industry and a love of writing -- not for a salary. As a volunteer, I still have many of the same responsibilities that paid writers do. I write reviews and previews, go to industry events, and interview developers when I'm given the opportunity. Paid journalists get to do most of these things while at work.

Recently, my site assigned me a review of Borderlands. This presented me with a complicated problem. It's my personal policy to finish any game I'm supposed to review. It would be a disservice to readers to write about a game without knowing as much as I can about it. Just one thing, though:

How the hell am I supposed to find time to play through a game as long and expansive as Borderlands?

Borderlands

While my girlfriend doesn't mind me playing a little when I come home from work, I can't do this every night, and even if I wanted to, certainly for no longer than an hour. She deserves to lounge around and use the TV just as much as I do.

Weekends are tricky, too. It's important to me to spend my recreation time with the lady of the house. We'll go to the beach, take a drive, or get together with family for a big dinner.

But I'll often have a 20-hour game, with a deadline, looming over my head.

slow_downAs I am sure many of my fellow Bitmobbers do, I love writing, particularly about the industry, but games like Borderlands push my ability to manage my time to the limit. Borderlands is a great game, but once I was finished with playing and reviewing it, I knew something had to change. I love longer, epic RPGs, and I was looking forward to reviewing Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2. Now I don't think I'll be able to, and that's a shame since I did the review for the first Mass Effect for my website.

This doesn't mean I'm down and out of journalism altogether. My girlfriend understands my passion for playing and writing about games -- which is part of why I love her. From now on, I think I'll be reviewing more straightforward games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 or Left 4 Dead 2. If this was an actual job -- one that paid the bills -- then longer games wouldn't be problem. As it stands, it's just a hobby.

Moving my life in the direction I want it to go can make meeting deadlines almost impossible. I can't imagine how meeting those deadlines will become even more difficult as marriage and children enter into the picture. I am not prepared to sacrifice my personal life in order to feed my passion for video game journalism; at the same time, I know that if I ever had to stop completely, it would leave a hole in me.

Unless I'm lucky enough to get paid to write about games one day -- or win the lottery -- the balancing will continue. I'm just not sure what that balance is.

Someday, I hope that an answer will arise.

 
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Comments (26)
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November 13, 2009
Hi aylon, just read through you post and cant help but think that at times i find myself in a somewhat similar position with reguards to real life clashing with gaming intrests although i do not write for any magazine and thus do not find myself under any specific pressure to get through a game i find that rpgs do tend to take up alot of time to get through and if you are a fan of a particular brand of rpg then you will feel more compelled to play through if it was some particular form of advice you were seeking and the question at the end was not rehtorical then i think you should perhaps make a sheduale for when you can and cannot play and make it as flexible as possible around your girlfriend, say monday tuesday wednesday you get your hour in before feelings start to turn sour then fridau saturdqy sunday providing that nothing social is happening then you could play maybe. 2-3 hours more tbh she seems pretty reasonable to give you 6 hours to try and power through borderlands and if she understands your passion then it shouldnt be a problem to give you the time you need. When you boil it all down everything is about give and take it shouldnt be you who has to sacrifice what you want to do all of the time as you said yourself giving it up would destroy yoi thats just my spin on things take it whAtever way you want and gl :)
Lance_darnell
November 13, 2009
Nice Post Aylon!!! The answer to your question: there is no way!!! I suggest staying up until 4am a few nights. Yes, you will be a zombie at work or school, but that is the only way I know to get some hours into a game. But I don't feel like you need to finish a game to give it a fair review - especially considering so few gamers even finish their games these days. I agree with Mike though, you have a great lady!!!
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November 13, 2009
I think people put too much stock in finishing games. For most games it seems a 5 to 10 hours of play should be fairly representative of the product as a whole. I loved Uncharted 2 and I feel I could have reviewed it based on about 5 hours of play. You see most of the story develop in that time and most of the gameplay is already laid out for you. With Uncharted, finishing the game might have even been a detriment for me. I loathed the final level with the bullet sponge enemies and the horrible final boss. It left a sour taste in my mouth and had I written a review shortly after finishing the game, I might have been harsher than I would have liked. Looking back on the game as a whole, I can see its greatness. Good luck with your woman! It's great to have a loving, supportive lady in your life. I would be nothing without my wife!
Redeye
November 13, 2009
The whole point of finishing a game for a review is that finishing the game 'might be a detriment to me.' it also might be better then the early parts of the game. To talk about something without having gotten the full experience of it means that when you are talking to other people about it who have seen the entire thing you are coming from a point of ignorance. You lose credibility and may have a scewed perspective. Casual players shouldn't feel obligated to finish something they don't like, but anyone who writes about a game with a critical eye should speak from a full experience if it even approximates a review of the game. I personally try to finish games as much as possible without torturing myself with stuff I can't stand or get supreamly bored of. (unless I want to complain on the internet. Then I limit myself to complaining about things I've completely finished as a point of honor.) Aylon's situation is a toughy. Having both a deadline and no pay. The things some people are asked to do for the love of the game....s.
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November 14, 2009
Hey everyone, thanks for the comments! :) I really appreciate it - and so does my girlfriend, she loved the ego boost you all gave her haha. This was my first post on bitmob so I am glad it started a small discussion. Mike - I am glad you were able to relate in some way. My girlfriend is extremely reasonable and you are right, it is about give and take. My give is not doing longer games for review anymore but rather smaller games that I can get done in a timeframe that will be more manageable and fair for both of us. Jefferey - you took the words right out of my mouth. When you are going to review or be critical about a game (or almost anything really) you need to have the full experience so you aren't coming from a place of ignorance. I also believe it is about being professional. Going with Zebulon's example of Uncharted 2. Imagine if every copy of the game had a bug that crashed the game near the end making it impossible to finish. If you reviewed the game only on the first few hours you would not know about that bug and therefore would not mention it in your review. That would end up making you look bad to your readers, which is why you always should play through the game at least once, so you know you are reviewing the full experience. But anyway, thanks again guys and please look out for my future articles! :)
Shoe_headshot_-_square
December 14, 2009
Sounds like someone's a little whipped! Just kidding -- I've been in the same boat for years, and this IS my career. It's just hard to find time to play everything. If you think about a 10-hour game, that's a sixth of your work week right there. But people don't realize we have meetings, writing, editing, etc. etc. So yes, I can totally sympathize. Even with understanding live-in girlfriends, it's hard to find that balance sometimes.
Jamespic4
December 15, 2009
I joked in my note, but it IS HARD. I'm writing for Bitmob, going to school, editing my own podcast...and I don't even have the disadvantage of being in a "non-standard" game locale. By the way, I'd be interested to hearing your thoughts in another article about the cost of gaming in Kiwi-land. Is it anything like the cost in Australia? And also, are the censorship strictures the same?
Default_picture
December 15, 2009
I can tell you from experience that the balancing act doesn't get any easier just because you're getting a paycheck. Finding the time is never easy. :(
Profilepic
December 15, 2009
I understand. I'm in College and trying to find a balance is hard. I am also lucky enough to have a girlfriend that is encouraging and interested in my career choice. I am at another cross-roads, trying to decide whether my choice to major in journalism is a good one. I will love writing regardless of what it is about, but will i be able to help support my family?
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December 15, 2009
Eric - I am sure a paycheck helps. It may not be easier to do, but I am sure it would be easier to justify when you get paid to do it :) James - The price of gaming in NZ isn't too bad. We are a little cheaper than Australia (about $10NZ or so per game) and no, we do not have the same censorship problems here. I know a lot of Kiwis (I am originally from South Africa, so technically not a Kiwi) love to tease Australians because of their strict censorship. While they get watered down versions of Left 4 Dead 2 or some games completely banned, we get them no problem... and a little cheaper :) Of course if you look at one of my other articles on Bitmob about violence in video games you will see there are sadly some people in NZ who wish we did have stricter censorship. If there is anything else you'd like to know regarding gaming in NZ or anything, just let me know.
Bitmob_photo
December 15, 2009
I hope I never find the girl of my dreams, my gaming backlog is big enough already.
Waahhninja
December 15, 2009
I have an agreement with my girlfriend that if she comes over during the week, after I'm done with work, then I get the weekends to do and play whatever I want. If I do and play whatever I want during the week, we hang out on the weekend. I don't feel like you should spend every waking, living moment with someone with just an hour or two a day to be yourself. You're no longer your own person, doing things you like. You'd be an entity, like a symbiotic parasite, feeding off the person and feeding them too. I can't understand how some people can completely give up their hobbies or passions based on who they're dating. I'm not trying to come off as combative here (really!) but maybe just a little worried. If you guys live together and are around each other every day, why is it that you're only allowed "at most" an hour? It seems very prohibitive. My girlfriend and I have this arrangement because we were having too many fights about my "free time" and what I was choosing to do with it. Maybe your relationship is different, I dunno. I figured if she really got where you were coming from with your passion for games and writing that you'd get some more leeway.
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December 15, 2009
@Tom- Way to set boundaries. I really wish I would have done that in the past. Giving up games for someone is not worth it.
Waahhninja
December 15, 2009
@Brian Did you have a terrible experience? I lived with a girlfriend a couple years ago and it slowly turned into a nightmare. I wake up early on the weekends due to my general work schedule during the week. I started getting accused of getting up early so I could avoid cuddling. She would come out and lay on the couch, sleeping in my lap until I was done. Demanding that we do things together even though we spent every night of the week hanging out. We started fighting more frequently and more intensely about it until I approached her with the analogy that I was to her what video games were to me. When she replied with, "Exactly!" I knew there was a bigger problem at hand. We slowly grew apart until I broke it off in a terrible way. It was a real shame because apart from video games we worked really well together. I don't believe that a person should be responsible for their significant other's happiness and enjoyment. If they can't do anything to keep them busy unless you're there or they have no real hobbies or interests outside of you than that's a problem. You have to know what you can do to make yourself happy before you can be with someone else for an extended period of time. At least, that's my philosophy. Not being solely co-dependent on someone else. It's a path to ruin.
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December 15, 2009
@Tom: Yeah, my experience was similar. She'd expect me to be with her 24/7 and she'd get mad if I played video games more than 30 mins a day. I was constantly expected to help her with her college classes she was too lazy to study for, and she'd get mad whenever I played a game. She also had no understanding about my goals either and was very self-centered. Also, she saw video games as something that "losers" do while normal people would be out at the clubs and other similar things. It was pretty ridiculous. After my experience and hearing about other similar situations like yours, I have to agree with your philosophy. You shouldn't have to constantly be there to satisfy someone else who can't find any interests of their own.
Waahhninja
December 15, 2009
@Brian I get the impression that those sorts of people looked down on the nerds in school, always trying their best for popularity. Dating a gamer would reflect poorly on their image. But going to clubs, getting drunk a lot, watching (not participating!) in sports and being more concerned with who they're with, not who they are, is seen as more respectable than gaming. Pssshhhh!
Default_picture
December 15, 2009
Yeah, I hear you guys. My previous relationship was similar to what you are describing. That is why with this one I was upfront from the start about being a gamer and writing about it. That way she knew where I stood and either could accept it or not. Luckily, as I hope the article shows, she does accept it and it very understanding. Tom, I hear (read) what you are saying but because we live together and only have one TV it would be unfair to hog it for the whole night to play games. She has the right to use it and relax after work as well. It is about being considerate to each other. And being fair. As the article says, it is all about balance. We definitely have things we like to do together and things we like to do apart. I am glad you found a system that works with your gf. The system I have with mine also works pretty well. I think a lot of the challenge in my situation is I do not just play games for the fun. I usually have a deadline and have to finish the game within a short amount of time to review it and keep my editor happy :)
Waahhninja
December 15, 2009
@Aylon No disrespect was intended, sir. I apologize if I came off a little uppity. Would having another tv help?
Me_and_luke
December 15, 2009
I think I'm with Chris on this one. :) It's tough that gaming still hasn't quite expanded from its perpetually viewed nerdcore niche (fortunately, the Wii is slowly helping the situation). I imagine that there are very few non-gamer women that enjoy - much less put up with - their boyfriend's video game hobby. It's actually one of my biggest fears about dating, not only losing time for gaming (this is selfish I realize) but possibly feeling guilty for gaming, because my girlfriend might think it's "stupid, and a waste of time." We're all nerds about something. If the woman (or man, occasionally) in your life can't see and accept that your nerd-dom lies in gaming, then he/she's likely not worth keeping.
Default_picture
December 15, 2009
@ Tom haha no disrespect was taken. As for having another tv, yeah sure it would help. You offering to buy us one? It would go a long way to making up for all the disrespect ;) @ Bryan - yeah, that was the lesson learnt from my previous relationship. I am a geek and whoever I am with needs to realise and accept that. The last one couldn't and I felt she judged and never truly "got me" because of that. . My current girlfriend does get me and that is why I live with her and want her to be the person my life moves forward with. Even if it means finding a new way to balance everything.
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December 15, 2009
This is an interesting article, and I think it really hits home for a lot of 20-something gamers like those you'd find on Bitmob. I got lucky - my current girlfriend of 2 and a half years is not only understanding of my videogame habit, but I've even rubbed off on her a bit. :) Since we've started dating, she's gotten into RPG's (just beat FFX), and just recently picked up Warcraft 3 for her mac. We've also played some games together, like Monkey Island and Psychonauts. It's a really good time! She doesn't play games nearly as much as I do, and doesn't follow current gaming news, but she enjoys them enough that she can certainly understand when I get really excited for a game, or when I'm a little too hooked on some game. We don't live together or anything (in fact, we've been doing the long distance thing for a couple years...coming to an end soon), but I don't anticipate any problems in the future. Video games are something I love to do, and I'm very happy (and lucky) to have a girl who both understands and, to a lesser degree, shares that passion. Looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Waahhninja
December 15, 2009
@Aylon Bingo. I am offering.
Andrewh
December 15, 2009
First of all, what's with Shoe working 60 hours a week? Games journalism, bah humbug! Second, if you like something enough you find the time to do it. And if it falls off, you'll always find yourself coming back to it. If writing is a hobby, don't set up expectations and commitments that ruin something for you. Pace yourself, do what you can, and don't let a hobby kill itself.
Img_20100902_162803
December 15, 2009
To add my personal antidote, I replaced my movie,comic, and television habit for gaming. Been happy ever since the change.
Default_picture
December 15, 2009
I agree with Garret that this article really hits home for us guys who grew up with video games. It's only going to get harder once children come into the picture. I do have a wife who let's me play for an hour or two but there are times where she has to put her foot down to control my play time. It does sucks to learn an ending to a video game because you don't have the time to beat as quickly as everybody else. But what can you do?
Default_picture
January 08, 2010
I fell you totally on this. I'm a journalism minor and writing major. I have tons of deadlines and a live-in girlfriend and play in a fairly productive band. Things get hard and the road rough. I always find it beneficial to set time aside everyday to write, play music, spend time with friends and family, and play games. I'm in the middle of Dragon Age right now, so I'm mired down a little. But I usually try to set aside at least thirty minutes to an hour each day for most of my activities. Now, dont get me wrong, I don't do it everyday, but it helps if you try. I may write a story or a review of something for an hour or two and not play video games or music. Then, the next day I may do the opposite and set time aside for them all. It's really hard. But if you love to do something, you will find time over the things that mean less. You'll find what your true priorities are. Sometimes, to do what you really want and love, you have to sacrifice things you've become accustomed to. You'll find time if you really want to do it. But I feel you, it's hard to do so....maybe you'll get paid one day and everything will pan out.

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