Techno-Hermits

Written by Jasmine Maleficent Rea

I suppose I fall into the catagory of a techno-hermit, as far as online gaming is concerned. I've never understood how someone could spend months of their lives devoted to an online experience. Games like EverQuest, World of Warcraft, insert your MMORPG here, have never taken hold of me. It may be because I have more things to accomplish in a day than there is time, or that the idea of sitting and playing one game for so long is mind-numbing. Regardless of this, I am still trying to diagnose my issues with MMOs and all online gaming experiences.

Back when the beta first opened, I signed up for Shin Megami Tensei: Imagine. Out of any MMO in the world, I had the greatest chance of becoming addicted to this one as I have become addicted to numerous MegaTen games over the years. Shortly after install my interest fell flat, and I went back to playing Pokemon and Persona as I often do.

As I examine my reaction, I see three issues with me and online games, ones I doubt are unique to me.

1. Fear of the crowd: Being faced with epic adventure is tangible in a boxed format. I am alone in my journey and can feel free to stop and start as I please. Even though I know there are millions of people doing the exact same thing across the world, I wonder how that works and how they would respond to me. Being branded a'n00b' is something I strive to step away from, and even newbie caries with it an uncomfortable sting. The natural process of gathering people into groups just feels more aggressive online and I can't fathom that. Add in the idea of a PVP server and my fear of people grows exponentially.

Having someone across the country expecting me to be online at the right time for a raid is worrisome. What will I be met with if my largely more important real life keeps me from that? The idea of someone across the country being outraged by my not logging in to a game has a stomach-churning effect. I do worry needlessly about such things and keep myself away from that sort of pressure whenever possible.

In the end the games simply feel too big for my nervous self to ever feel comfortable in. So much so that I doubt my worries are even that founded. Once they take root, they are impossible to remove.

2. Dependence: This ties into the first point, but it is more my distrust of others showing up at the right time and doing what they need to do. When I am comitted to a goal or an event, I tend to show up early or at least promptly. I know from several years of waiting that others do not share this desire to be on time. I cannot see myself trusting someone to assist me in a task that I could conceivably complete myself.

I do not like the idea that at some point interaction becomes manditory. I enjoy my isolation and the achievement personally gained. In recent months I have opened myself up to multiplayer shooters and find them easier to take than an MMO, but I have a similar distaste for them. People. It may be the people I have played with, but there is a definite out for yourself mentality when you do not have friends with whom you frequently play.

This is most apparent in Team Fortress 2 when you play as anything other than the Medic. If you are an aggressive unit, you are largely left alone without a friend as a Medic. Play as a Medic, which is what I often do because of this, and you instantly have a purpose in the group. Of course this turns into every trigger-happy player on your team shouting for you to heal them as they walk directly into heavy fire. I know I do not speak for the whole since I am often unwilling audience to someone's portrayal of the Dickwad theory.

3. Getting Started: Starting is a huge issue. It is why I have very, very few friends across my numerous accounts, and why I cannot stay playing for long. I feel so overwhelmed by the idea of communication that I prefer to keep my PSN and Live names largely private. I've handed them around a few times and am met with silence. I expect this, since I am not that outgoing in the end. It is a test to see how that stuff ever gets started more than it is me wanting to fill up my user lists. If someone adds me because they liked how I handled a situation, or appreciate me knowing a Little Big Planet level before entering into online play, then I accept and meet up with them when they are on. It is passive and never planned.

I am more of an observer and commentor than an active memeber of the online gaming community. With time I may come out of my shell, but for now I am a little techno-hermit, stuffed into my shell-like corner of the internet with a distrust of change and interaction. Perhaps I have not tried the right thing, or viewed the right game, but I don't know where to start.

Someday I would like to overcome my hesitation and join the online gaming community with confidence. For now I will comment on single player and watch others play online. That and continue to be the anonymous Medic who saves your ass.

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Comments (2)

I can definitely relate when it comes to MMO's. I think my ambivalence toward them is simply for the idea that in the time I spend playing WoW, I can probably play and thoroughly enjoy any number of other games. Ultimately that's a deal breaker for me. Like you, the idea of having to meet for raids would also be a bit too much of an intrusion in my "real" life...I'm not one to plan events around videogames, but rather the other way around.

As far as shooters are concerned, I've learned over the last year that they truly are more enjoyable in groups. If I don't know people who regularly play a game I'm playing, I jump on a forum and look around for some people to play with. Always a casual group, such that if I'm on and see that they're on, I join their party and away we go. Since I've started doing this, I've honestly enjoyed shooters tenfold. I understand your hesitation, because I was that way too, but it's at least worth a shot. Playing with pubs is not the way to go, especially for the online shy. And the best part about it is you might come away with a friend or two for the next game you pick up.

Garret Staus , July 03, 2009

I have a lot of the same problems with MMOs. Whenever I try to play one the experience stresses me out. A few bad experiences with other players is enough to sour me on a game. I mostly play games to relax and that never happens for me in an MMO.

Rachel Jagielski , July 04, 2009