Mastering the Sweet Science

Editor's note: Matthew has clearly faced some tough times in his life. Commiserate with his 10 Hardest Games of All Time list, and add your own in the comments...my own private tormentor was Zanac. -Demian

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We all have those moments. Those times when we wanted to throw our controllers, scream at the top of our lungs, or kick our furniture. The times when these games reach out from the TV and kick you in the balls. We know we should stop playing, it's what we tell ourselves -- but that game won't win this round.

So, inspired by the recent Mobcast where one of the topics was games that made you rage quit, I bring you the 10 hardest games of all times. If these games don't make you rage quit, then you're a game-playing robot from the future, my friend. And if so, I submit to your rule.

10. Shinobi (PS2)
Shinobi holds the distinction of being difficult for one simple, yet infuriating, reason: Your sword saps your health when you're not killing bad guys. This gameplay mechanic isn't so bad, as enemies are in abundance. It's only when you get to the later levels where everything gets hellish. Enemies become harder and the levels themselves turn into exercises in platforming seppuku.

Yea, those dogs have swords in their mouths.

You grasp the controls to your fighter jet, palms already sweaty from anxiety. After a few moments of calm, your panels and gauges light up, and your target appears in view. You engage the afterburners to close the distance, while arming your infared missles. You grab a lock on and prepare to fire, only to hear your missle lock on alarm go off. He's targeted you first. Frantically dipping the nose of the jet, you pull off a loop to loop, engaging your flares to throw off the missles scent. It barely works as the deadly warhead zooms past your cockpit. Taking advantage of the misfire, you corkscrew your jet and turn around to regain your target. After confirming the lock, you let loose your payload, and destroy the bogey.

 

You plop down on your couch, weary from a day of work, ready to play some games to unwind. You turn on your Xbox 360, waving your hands through the air to scroll through your video game collection. You settle on Fable 3, tapping forward in the air to start up the game. After a few hours, you get bored and decide to buy a new game. Pulling up the Games on Demand menu, you again scroll through, settling on Mass Effect 3. After thinking it through, you make the leap, buy the game, and let it download as you go about thinking what's for dinner.

Editor's note: I'd never played an interactive fiction 'game' before trying Alabaster -- it's kind of like a well-written Choose Your Own Adventure book meets Zork. Take a break from explosions and space marines and check it out. -Demian

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If there is one genre of games that I've never understood, it's interactive fiction. I've never been able to get into a game where my only interaction with it is rudimentary text commands saying "pick up the key" or "travel north." I'm not saying the genre is bad, it just wasn't my cup of tea. I attribute this to the lack of a graphical interface and a story which never pulled me in, since I spent most of the time stumbling in the dark, quite literally.

Enter Alabaster. The description calls it "a fractured fairy tale" and presents you with the familiar tale of Snow White but with a sinister twist. You play a woodsman who is tasked by the Queen to take her daughter into the forest and take her heart. As you reach the forest though, Snow White informs you that she has a safe haven prepared -- all you need to do is untie her. What follows is a battle of wits, truths, lies, and riddles, and you must decide to kill her, let her go, or maybe something entirely different.