I recently found my old Pokemon Blue (complete with unlimted rare candies and master balls), and my heart was all a flutter with catch-em-all nostalgia. I dusted off my GBA and took the game for a spin, hoping to reignite the wonder-lust I had when I was nine. Unfortunately, a decade of dedicated game playing and secular education poked quite a few holes in this classic that I hadn't noticed the first time around. Pokemon Red/Blue is missing:

1) Your Dad

You live in tiny Pallet Town, with your mom and . . . wait a second! Where's dad!? No explanation is ever given in the game for your lack of a paternal figure. It is possible you were conceived solely by your massive Poke-chlorian count, or maybe dad just couldn't stand the fact that you got the entire second floor as your bedroom, while mom and him slept on the dining table downstairs.

Was it fixed in later games? - In Gen III, your dad's the gym leader of a far away town. He was likely there all the time cos he still couldn't stand the bedroom thing.

 2) Poke-rights Activists

According to the Pokedex, some of these Pokemon are pretty intelligent creatures. Couple that with their ability to woop ass, and you wonder why they willingly subjugate themselves to pokeballs. Let's face it, Pokemon battles are basically glorified dog-fighting, and you're Michael Vick, only the game won't let you drown your poke slaves when they lose because the kiddies would cry foul. The least the games could do would be to include a rally somewhere.

 Was it fixed in later games? - Nope. In addition to cockfights, you could force your shackled critters to breed and enter beauty contests as well.

3) Team Rocket's Balls

No, not literally. Here, imagine this: You're a member of Team Rocket, the most evil organization in the world. You steal pokemon, you torture pokemon, and your ultimate goal is world domination. Basically, you're a terrorist. Now suppose during one of your nefarious schemes, a 10 year-old boy cockily walks up to and challenges you to a pokemon battle. After he wipes the floor with your shitty Zubat (Why don't you keep some of the good pokemon you steal eh?) do you:

A) Wait for him to return his Charizard, then tackle his pre-pubescent ass?

B) Calmly pull out your sidearm and shoot him in the face?

C) Call all your nearby Rocket buddies, who subsequently use all the force at their disposal with little regard for the unspoken rules of poke battles?

D) Stay put and let the twerp walk by, head hung in shame?

If you answered D, you're from the games. If you answered A-C, you're for real.

Was it fixed in later games? - If anything, Team Magma and Aqua were bigger wimps. Poke utopia over world domination? Whatever.

4) Pure "Flying" Type Pokemon

Before I go into this one, I understand there were other types that didn't fly solo in Reb/Blue (Ghost, Ice) but their absence was not nearly as egregious as Flying's. Think of every Normal/Flying pokemon in the games. There's a lot of 'em. You think at least one could have been pure Flying. Talk about a lack of Poke-biodiversity. I know I'm being nitpicky here, but in the eternal words of Mitch Hedberg: C'mon, Flying type (Turkey . . .), just be yourself!

Was it fixed in later games? - Nintendo teased us with G IV's Chatot, and then went and slapped the Normal type on it anyway. Bastards.

5) Lickitung's "Lick" Attack

Lickitung... LICK-i-TONGUE... Have you seen this Pokemon? The damn thing embodies all the virtues of this mouth muscle, yet in Reb/Blue, he cannot, in any way, shape, or form, learn the attack "Lick." Don't believe me? Check this: <http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Lickitung_(Pok%C3%A9mon)/Generation_I_learnset#By_leveling_up>

Was it fixed in later games? - Yep, apparently someone told Satoshi Tajiri that tongues are primarily used for licking stuff.

6) The Orange Islands

Was I the only one, or did this tropical archipelago and its Gym challenges seem like the coolest concept ever implemented in the Pokemon world? Plus battling Drake would have been sick.

Was it fixed in later games? - Sadly no. The Sevii Islands mini-adventure in FR/LG are as close as we get.

7) Passable A.I.

The game was primarily aimed at kiddies, I know, but at nine I still found the A.I. moronic. Even the gym leaders didn't seem to understand basic attack mechanics, "Onyx, Growl! Now Growl again! Third time's a charm! Haha, soon our opponent will run in fear of your gravelly grumblings a- Bubbles? Onyx's only weakness!"

Was it fixed in later games? - I recently tried Emerald and some trainers/gym leaders seem to have their sh*t together. They exploit type and ability advantages and cheat as much with potions as you do. Woot!

 If anyone has any other ideas, feel free to post them in the comments and I'll add them up officially