I've been dragon punching since you could say "Street Fighter" without being asked "Which one?", and I've collected some vital data:

 

 

It's almost impossible that somebody as game focused as you, dear bitmobber, could possibly not know about OCRemix- but as a video game hero I'm used to battling incredibly improbable threats (I've played Resident Evil, for God's sake).  OverClocked Remix is everything online sharing was meant to be; highly talented people making excellent things sharing them for free because they love it so much. This isn't that annoying guy who plays Mario every time he sees a piano and expects an ovation, these are talented musicians rebuilding the beeps you grew up to into something you can still listen to.

Greetings, and welcome to Improbably Located Merchant dot com!

Hiding with my inventory under the staircase in Dracula's Castle of Evil leaves me with a lot of time to ponder economics, and I realised: maybe the pit of instant death spikes - not to mention the thousands of undead between my reasonably-priced wares and even the closest major trade route - might by why I have so few customers.

So I got together with Merchant-hidden-behind-a-breakable-wall and Merchant-selling-weaponry-in-an-otherwise-idyllic-pastoral-village, and we set up one of these website things!

RAMBO is the best gun game I've ever played, and I've played their entire history. My first babysitter was Operation WOLF (while dad drank at the bar), my first console game was Duck Hunt. I used to play Wild Gunman drawing the Zapper from my pocket, despite how that made it physically impossible to beat level 5. For the PS1 I owned TWO GunCons - back when there were only that many reasons to own one (Time Crisis and Point Blank, and yes I'm counting the entire Time Crisis series as one game). Of all those and a thousand more, making every House of the Dead literal and Silent Scoping the safety of a nation, RAMBO goddamn RAMBOes them to smithereens then machine-guns every single smithereen into smithereenettes.

I grabbed Megaman ZX with an urge to indulge in some Megaman joy - unfortunately, I was the only person involved in the game who'd even heard of "enjoyment." In fact, I might be the only one who'd played Megaman. Capcom (now actively working to make sure they don't have successful characters) sourced the game out to Inti Creates - who couldn't have placed more obstacles between me and fun without designing the cartridge to blow my thumbs off.

Amazingly the biggest dumbass in Metroid isn't the Space Pirates, despite their mission statement reading "Breed lethally dangerous creatures and mix them with any dangerous chemicals we happen to find lying around". Most people abandon a hobby after their first world gets blown out from under them, but a hat-trick of planetary explosions later they're still going strong. This species make lemmings look like life insurance salesmen, and based on their safety record and "success/horrible disaster" ratio they're the descendants of the Umbrella corporation.

I conjured up a set of Sniper Unlocks, and only just got them in under the wire - before Valve came out with their "official" stuff.  I don't know, I think this one could be more useful:

I am ridiculously biased in favor of House of the Dead. "Presiding in the case of Mr. Smith versus That Guilty Bastard, The Honorable Judge Smith"-biased. "Not only bought but finished Typing of the Dead"-biased, which is a little more biased than sane people are actually capable of. I lost one of my first jobs because of an HotD cabinet not quite close enough to get there and back in a lunch hour, and one of my finest gaming memories is emptying a machine gun clip with one hand and a beer with the other, simultaneously tackling my two nemeses (the undead and the undrunk).