Bitmob Writing Tips: Dos and don'ts of good intros (with a free game giveaway)

Shoe_headshot_-_square
Tuesday, February 07, 2012

I was scared while writing the first paragraph of my Gears of War cover story. Not because I was calling one of the most famous game designers on the planet a dick -- I was worried my editorial director would not approve of my playground vocabulary.

I consulted Crispin Boyer, the former senior editor of Electronic Gaming Monthly and a very good buddy of mine. He always kills it when it comes to penning bad-ass story introductions, and I knew he'd tell me whether I had a good one or not. He loved it, telling me he wanted to read more, so I knew I had a winner.

My editorial director approved as well, and thus, my favorite personal first-liner was born.

That's the key: You have to write a good intro. You have to make a reader want to read more. Otherwise, no one will ever get to the meat of your story.

In this edition of Bitmob Writing Tips, I offer some quick dos and don'ts for jump-starting your articles. And at the end of this post, I'm giving away a free code to a downloadable game for someone here to write about. Hopefully, he'll come up with a bad-ass intro.

 

Do: Catch your readers' attention in the first few lines, of course.

Don't: Start with boring history lessons. I can't stand it when an author spends the first few lines in an article giving his readers yawn-worthy background info to get them all caught up. You don't have to write things in chronological order! Save the "catching up" for later in the story, and don't risk putting anyone to sleep right at the start -- you never know if that's all old news to them.

For example, which of these make a better first line in a feature? Which would make you want to read further?

  1. Cliff Bleszinski clearly likes being a dick.
  2. Gears of War is a third-person shooter coming out on the Xbox 360.

Do: Keep your intros concise. If your first paragraph is a 500-worder, you've already lost half your audience.

Don't: Ramble. Even if you have an interesting anecdote to start the story with, stay on point.

Do: Let your readers know within the first few lines what your post is about. It's amazing how many writers really never get to a thesis until way far into the body text.

Don't: Rely on your headline to be your intro. A lot of times, a reader may forget it as he dives into an article. Don't assume he remembers whatever details you put in that headline.

Do: Provide a reason to keep reading. It's not just enough to have a strong intro. A reader can take off at any moment, so keep him engaged to the end.


Want to test out our Writing Tips? How about you write about this new iOS game, Furmins? It's from Housemarque, the makers of Super Stardust HD, Outland, and Dead Nation. Its PR handlers gave us a code to give to one of our community writers, so it's free to one of you. Just comment below and let us know you'd like to cover it for us. We'll pick a winner at random later this week.

 
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Comments (15)
Default_picture
February 07, 2012

I'd like to cover Furmins, if possible!

Shoe_headshot_-_square
February 09, 2012

Hey Nick, you're our winner. I'l get in touch!

Shoe_headshot_-_square
February 17, 2012

Hey Nick,

I'm not sure if I missed it, but did you ever put up that Furmins article?

Thanks!

shoe

Default_picture
February 17, 2012

Hey Shoe,

I'm still in the process of playing through the game, should have something up by the middle of next week. I'll put a link in the comments here when I'm done.

Thanks again!

Shoe_headshot_-_square
February 17, 2012

Cool, thanks man. If you reply to this comment, I'll get an email and know about it.

Default_picture
February 21, 2012

Just finished a review of Furmins! I usually do feature and news work, so it was good practice for me (and of course, I enjoy the game too)!
Let me know what you think:
http://bitmob.com/articles/furmins-is-a-criminally-cute-physics-puzzle-game-for-ios

Thanks again for everything, Shoe!

Shoe_headshot_-_square
February 22, 2012

Hey Nick, thank you! I noticed the images are broken (at least on my end). Can you do me a favor and fix them then let me know? I want to send your article to the developers. :)

Default_picture
February 22, 2012

Sorry for the trouble! It was my first time putting screen captures from my iPad into a post. It's all fixed now.
Thanks Shoe!

Default_picture
February 07, 2012

Dan "Shoe" is a dick. Did I do that correctly? :)

Seriously though, I'd definitely like a shot at writing a review for Furmins. Dead Nation was great, and it's always nice to see developers finding a new space to release their games.

Default_picture
February 07, 2012

I'll cover it. My name's Carlos, which makes me expertly qualified.

Lolface
February 07, 2012

Furmins makes hairy balls fun!

Can I have a code please?

There184
February 08, 2012

I didn't insert the profanity into my last post because of this, but I did reposition it. Very helpful.

(I don't have an iDevice for Furmins, by the way. Thanks for offering.)

Shoe_headshot_-_square
February 09, 2012

Alex, random-number generator actually drew your name first!

Default_picture
February 08, 2012

whelp, I don't think I can write a better lead than Matthew's haha but I'd like to play it 

Default_picture
February 08, 2012

Also, if Crispin proposed to me using a story introduction I would have a hard time saying no. The intro the Bioshock piece is that good.

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