Cologne's Gamescom is an avalanche of sausages and questionable haircuts. Today was media and exhibitors only…tomorrow, the gates open to the public and it really gets nuts. Here's what I've seen so far:

10AM-ish -- Microsoft/Lionhead Press Conference
I was promised a Microsoft/Lionhead press conference, but got the one-man Peter Molyneux show instead. The Fable creator made a quick announcement about Fable 2 episodic DLC, then launched into his main topic for the day, Fable 3.

"The third child is always the problem child," he said, and in true Molyneux's signature style, he teased a major tweak to the standard role-playing game format but wouldn't reveal exactly what he had in store. I think he said something about "removing a cornerstone."

He was happy to speak at length about Fable 3's "Journey to Rule," though -- you'll start out as the son or daughter of your Fable 2 hero, and then rise to the throne of Albion.

Molyneux drew a parallel to President Obama while explaining that players will choose to honor or ignore campaign promises made while enroute to the crown, and learn that a ruler's decisions are more nuanced than they seem at first glance. "Obama, he's not as fresh-faced, is he?" said Molyneux. "He looks a bit haggard now."

When Peter finally left the stage, everyone stayed put, expecting the Microsoft part of the presentation to start. It never did, and eventually we all shuffled out of there.

Yup, that's a chick in a giant snow globe at the Mario & Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games booth.

Contender: GC 2009 Non-Award Awards: Saddest Booth.

12:28PM -- Dead Nation (PS3)
This one was announced at yesterday's Sony conference, and I spotted it on the show floor so grabbed a controller. Even though it's all about zombie slaughtering, it immediately made me think of Fat Princess; while Fat Princess is kind of like an isometric World of WarCraft battleground game For Dummies, Dead Nation is like an isometric, single-player Left 4 Dead, For Dummies.

It's made by the Super Stardust HD guys, and the control scheme is similar -- left stick to move, right stick to aim, R1 to shoot.

While the zombie killing was fairly fun if predictable (oh, a really fat zombie that explodes?), the metagame could prove to be more interesting. The game will detect where your PSN account is registered, and your first few missions will take place in that country, as you try to eradicate the infection. Eventually, you'll move across a Risk-style map, exterminating zombies from country to country as the game tracks your -- and everyone else's -- progress.

Clear Belgium of the undead and the virus will eventually mutate and resurge, laying waste once again to scenic Bruges. Phil Gaskell, a senior producer at Sony CEE, told me the plan is to dynamically evolve the game according to the community's desires. Although in his next breath he said, "If the community wants DLC, we'll do DLC." I can't think of many instances where gamers demanded DLC, but we'll see how that works out.

I assumed this giant tractor pretty much guaranteed a tractor driving DS game, but it turned out to be a collection of sucky board games. False advertising!

Contender: GC 2009 Non-Award Awards: Unnecessary Parkour -- Sony.

2:05PM -- MAG (PS3)
This behind-closed-doors demo didn't go quite as planned -- not only did the stations running the game not actually work, but they couldn't get the trailer to play either.

So we had to rely on our powers of imagination as the lead designer, who said his name far too quickly for me to catch, described MAG's three private armies (you pick one to fight for, but once you rise to max level you can defect, if you're like that) and leveling system.

I can confirm that the game really does work, though, as I played it later on on the show floor. Feels a bit SOCOM-esque, but then it's made by the same guys.

The hottest little person at Gamescom (in terms of temperature).

Unlikeliest couple: Tomb Raider and deformed Sack Boy.

3:16PM -- Star Wars: The Old Republic (PC)
BioWare was showing the first live gameplay of Star Wars: The Old Republic, so I gladly got in line. I'm not a big fan of the cartoony art style, but I like BioWare, love a good MMO, and don't hate Star Wars despite George Lucas's best efforts.

Senior Producer Dallas Dickinson demoed three classes: Bounty Hunter, Smuggler, and the just-announced Sith Warrior. The Bounty Hunter seemed like your typical ranged combat class but with jump jets. The Smuggler, also a ranged class, can attack from cover, and also executed a nice kick-to-the-balls-into-headshot combo at point-blank range. The Sith Warrior was similar to a KOTOR Jedi Guardian, with a charge attack, force choke, and plenty of lightsaberin'. These were all low-level dudes; they get more powers later on.

Pictures weren't allowed during the Star Wars demo, so this is all I got.

I was a little concerned by the ice-skating walking animations and frame-rate hit in outdoor environments, but hey, it's still early.

Dickinson said that the story and missions are completely unique to each character class, which is pretty amazing and will certainly add to the replay value (not that MMOs are usually hurting for that). Although he did show part of a mission in which two different character classes were partnered up, so I don't know how *every* mission can possibly be unique to a particular class.

KOTOR's extensive voice-over work and decision-making system will also make it into Old Republic, except that you can't reload an old save and try out a different choice in an MMO, which should make things interesting. Also like KOTOR, you'll earn light or dark points via your actions, with special powers open only to those of the extremely good or extremely evil persuasion. I'm not so happy to hear that: As more than one Bitmob writer has already noted, a binary choice like that really isn't much of a choice at all

Stay tuned for tomorrow -- I'll get to see RUSE, Assassin's Creed 2, and more.

Contender: GC 2009 Non-Award Awards: Worst Hair.