What does it say that I think Kirby's Dream Course running on an SNES emulator is the world's finest smartphone game?

News Blips:

Nintendo announces a new color for their 3D hardware: the Flame Red 3DS. I’m quickly approaching middle-age. This concerns me and affects all of my purchasing decisions. A younger man than I could be seen jogging around with a 3DS that doesn’t pop. I need something bolder…something that will catch the eye of the ladies. This is where the new flaming red 3DS comes in. It is the same shade of “Please look at me -- I’m still young” as my car, my favorite Under Armour shirt (size smedium), and my nipple ring. The Flame Red 3DS will help distinguished gentlemen grasp at a few more years of youth starting on September 9.

Super Mario 3D Land to arrive this November; Mario Kart 7 will follow in December. Sure, new colors are great, but what we really want are the games. As part of Nintendo’s Flame Red 3DS throwdown, they dropped the release windows for two of the portable's biggest upcoming titles. It’s no secret that the 3DS is in a position as precarious as a kidnapped princess. Naturally, the big N is sending Mario -- a veteran of several princess-saving ventures -- to rescue the handheld. Coupled with a price drop and a new color, these two games should substantially boost system sales.

Target and Walmart have reportedly implemented the 3DS price drop early. This means that gamers can pick up the 3D handheld for $169.99 and still gain full access to the 20 free games. Nintendo announced the price drop a few weeks ago, and as a way to make amends to early adopters they revealed the Ambassadors Program. This club will provide anyone who logged into the 3DS’s eStore before 11:59 p.m. EDT on August 11 with 10 Game Boy games and 10 Game Boy Advance games. Considering that some of the free GBA games may never be available on the eShop in any other way, this may be too good a deal to pass up.

Hothead Games is developing a real-world rendition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. To be clear, this isn’t an adaptation of the novel/radio shows but a manifestation of the titular guide for iOS devices. In honor of this news, I’ve decided to write some Vogon poetry:

Seeping, oozing, agape with feeling-like feelings.
I asked the Guide for the answer. It moaned, “42.”
Thankfully, I have my towel. Seepage/oozage contained.
What is left? The smell of cinnamon burps.

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