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Video-game movies and the hypocrites who reward mediocrity

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Friday, June 17, 2011
EDITOR'S NOTEfrom James DeRosa

I've seen a few video-game movies while they were in theaters: Silent Hill wasn't too bad, though my expectations were pretty low. And I still think Mortal Kombat is fun in a campy sort of way. But Super Mario Bros.? That film's existence baffles me to this day.

David O. Russell’s involvement and subsequent departure from the Uncharted movie created a schism among fans. With a competent director and A-list talent -- rumors mentioned Mark Wahlberg, Robert DeNiro, and Joe Pesci -- would this be the first respectable video-game flick? Or would Russell’s loose adaptation of the source material tarnish the property? All this fanboy posturing belies a larger question: Why the hell should Hollywood care what fans think? From Hollywood’s perspective, gamers are a persnickety lot, with no clue what they really want.

Most of us pay lip service to the notion that game adaptations suck. And yet they keep making money. How can this be? Is there some secret magic at work? Or do gamers say one thing and do another?

Video-game films are products of the free market. Let’s analyze the scenario: Studio X hires a B- or C-list director to adapt a popular fighting franchise that already features a paper-thin plot. Generally, the most recognizable actor plays a supporting role since he or she can't actually perform an extended martial-arts scene. The script and production values are so low that even Ed Wood would feel ashamed. By all rights, the flick should bomb at the box office. Instead, it grosses more than $122 million worldwide.

 

Hollywood has learned its lesson. Producers know they can cast the cheapest talent and buy a B-movie script, and gamers will come out in droves -- much like Star Wars fanboys who bitched about the first two prequels, but stood in line 10 times to see Revenge of the Sith, anyway.

Thus, the cycle continues. Studios know they can turn a profit on mediocre adaptations. So why shouldn't they cut corners on talent, writing, or special effects? Gamers complain, but they show up anyway. Fans have given production companies no reason to give a damn about their opinions. And if studios want to attach respected thespians -- say, Angelina Jolie, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, or Alfred Molina -- to their interpretation of a video-game franchise, that’s their prerogative. Gamers will come to see it anyway.

The point is that video-game movies suck, and we have no one to blame but ourselves. Critics consistently savage top-grossing video-game flicks (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider [$275 million worldwide], Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time [$335 million], Pokemon: The First Movie [$163 million], Mortal Kombat [$122 million], and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life [$156 million]). Their Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 19, 36, 14, 36, and 24, respectively, usually indicate a box-office turkey. Instead, we’ve consistently awarded mediocrity.

Adaptations are a tricky business. Stray too far, and you risk alienating the core fanbase. But if the source material is odious enough, a certain “dramatic license” is necessary. To paraphrase Portal's GLaDOS, speedy crap goes in, speedy crap comes out.

Most are loath to acknowledge this, but generally speaking, video-game writing is terrible. It’s taken the medium 40-plus years to reach the illustrious heights of the daytime soap opera. While the tech adheres closely to Moore’s Law, the storytelling is stuck in a quagmire, creeping forward at a snail’s pace. The handful of exceptions like Portal 1 and 2, Uncharted 1 and 2, Heavy Rain, and L.A. Noire exacerbate my frustration with gaming’s stubborn refusal to grow up. Why should film studios faithfully adapt mediocre plots? If the well is poisoned, why even bother to draw from it?

Studio execs make the creative decisions, but ultimately, their patrons hold veto power through the dollars in their wallets. And it’s a power that they should exercise more often. If we don’t want crappy video-game films, we should stop paying to see them.

 
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Comments (7)
100media_imag0065
June 17, 2011

I don't think Gamers are the ones seeing these movies, I think it is the uninformed. People who see a Tomb Raider movie with Angelina Jolie might not know it based off of a video game, but they sure know who Angelina is and she sells tickets. People who go see that mass marketed Prince of Persia might not know it is based off of a video game, but they know it was by the same team who make the Pirates films. As a matter of fact, I know plenty of people who had no idea what Pirates of the Caribbean was based off of, but still saw ALL the movies.

I am sure gamers make up a small chunk of that change, but I honestly don't know a single one who wastes their time with them. Me, I have only seen one video game movie that I enjoyed, and that was Silent Hill. I would even say I loved it, but I did not spend a dime to see it. The last video game movie I saw in theaters was Resident Evil, and the LARGE majority of people in the theater were older, who probably wandered in from the street.

Marketing sells movies. Whether its based off a book, a television show ar a video game.

Photo3-web
June 17, 2011

Looked at objectively, Prince of Persia and Tomb Raider are crappy films. Minus the brand recognition, I don't think either is strong enough to capture a mass market audience. Jake Gyllenhaal isn't a big enough name to open a big-budget adventure flick, akin to Brendan Frasier selling the Mummy, or Nic Cage selling National Adventure. And Angelina Jolie may have name recognition, but the abysmal reviews would normally sink a film the caliber of Tomb Raider. I can only conclude that gamers showed up in droves (even if the two of us didn't--I stayed at least ten feet away).

And gamers clearly padded the box office returns of Mortal Kombat and Pokemon.

Mindjack
June 17, 2011

What was your reaction to Mortal Kombat when you saw it for the first time? As a huge fan of the games, I was incredibly excited and very satisfied with the result. Watching it now as an adult I can see it’s no Kramer vs. Kramer, not even an Indiana Jones, but it did what it needed to do. Fans of the game were mostly pleased, as well as the movie executives.

Photo3-web
June 17, 2011

I thought it was garbage, even the first time. The dialogue was campy, the acting laughable, and it only loosely adhered to the series' mythology (which, as I point out in my piece, is not neccesarily a bad thing). I remember being really pissed that they killed Scorpion, and by Johnny Cage of all people! The fan favorite got killed by the guy everyone loves to hate.

Mindjack
June 17, 2011

Oh man, I couldn’t get enough of it. When the lizard-like Reptile transformed into a man and started kicking the crap out of Liu Kang, I got chills. Maybe it was the music. The sequel, though, I totally hated it. I could write a whole article expressing why I loathe it.

Photo3-web
June 17, 2011

Speaking of Johnny Cage, the biggest nut-buster for me was him doing his stupid friendship. So bad...

And when Shang Tsung says "flawless victory," that's gotta be one of the dumbest lines in the history of movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfFzcE1v3pc

Photo0084
June 18, 2011

I know that I am going to catch some crap for saying this, but I generally enjoy video game movies as a whole. Sure, they are not cinematic masterpieces, but they are (for the most part) great popcorn flicks. The only ones I will generally stay away from are the Uwe Boll films: Blood Rayne, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, etc.

I actually enjoy the Resident Evil films...although that could be my long standing crush on Milla Jovovitch. Super Mario Brothers is a terrible film, but I will watch it anytime someone brings it up. Tomb Raider was decent as well.

It all boils down to people liking different types of movies, some people like me hate the Saw franchise, yet it makes millions of dollars and several sequels. Why? Because people go and see them. You may hate video game adaptations, but most of the movie going public doesn't (to a certain point anyways.) You hit the nail on the head with the Star Wars remark, no matter how bad we claim they are, we still went to see them.

Perhaps it is just the "in thing" to claim to hate video game movies....

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