Well guess what guys? You're about to get my version of PAX, and it's awesome.  Coverage of the coolest PAX East games, a couple Bitmob exclusive details on unreleased games, screaming matches with Adam Sessler, Shane Bettenhausen's crazy stories, and my own stupid adventures to top things off.
 

In this episode I finish off my tour of the expo floor.  I then go to the Bitmob meet up and make an ass of myself.  To top it all off I got black out drunk after getting into a stupid argument with Adam Sessler.

You can find my previous episodes here:

Chris Davidson vs. PAX East Episode 1

Chris Davidson vs.PAX East Episode 2 Shank Preview!

Chris Davidson vs. PAX East Episode 3 Puzzle Quest 2 Preview!

Chapter 6: Short Lines and Shorter Attention Spans

I really wanted to check out at least one indie game Friday, so Brian and I checked out Fire Hose Games' Slam Bolt Scrappers. I somehow won, but it took me a really long time to figure out what was going on. Think of Tetris with jet packs, enemies, and 2 vs. 2 multiplayer. The object of the game is fly around and kill these flying bird things which turn into colored Tetris blocks upon death. Matching these colored blocks into squares awards you points and whoever scores the most before the time runs out wins.

It really wasn't my style of game, and it just seemed a bit too chaotic. I spent my time beating the shit out of the other players and sabotaging their progress, while Brian did his own thing and won the game for us. It works fine, but I wasn't compelled to play it again.

Can you tell what's going on from this Image? I certainly couldn't.

I then switched to Bit Trip Runner from the guys at Gaijin games. No one was demoing it or anything like that, it was just chilling there on a small monitor with a Wiimote in front of it. I picked it up and played it for a few minutes. The graphics are cool and it's stylized, but I still got bored pretty quickly. The object of the game is to time your jumps as your dude endlessly runs to the right. I didn't get very far, and I moved on since there wasn't anyone there to answer my questions.

Chapter 7: Time To Get Drunk

Using the north star, a compass, and Derek Lavigne's beard, I found my way to the Bitmob meet up. My first order of business was to buy Brett Bates a Blue Moon. Once I did that, I began to get intoxicated myself. I first met Karen Chu, who is awesome by the way. She said she recognized my name and has read my stuff on Bitmob, which made me feel super special and warm inside.

I won a copy of Ragnarok for DS, which I actually wanted, so I was very happy. I then continued to tell drunken stories and make an ass of myself until only about 2 people could tolerate being at the same time table as me. Brian mentioned he'd be at the bar next door, and made me promise I wouldn't go more than 2 feet from the bar we were at. If I did anything else, I'd get lost. Seemed like an easy promise to make, so I agreed. Where else could we possibly go?

"Alright guys! Just one more story! I know I already told 18, but I swear the 19th is actually funny!"

A few minutes later we were off to the G4 party at the TC Lounge. My promise to Brian echoed in my head: "I promise to either stay here or meet you at the other bar, but not to leave this general area for any reason." Fuck it, I'm sure I'll find my way back.

Right as we walked in I met Patrick Klepek, he's a cool guy. I complimented him on the Infinity Ward story, and congratulated him on his panel and that stuff, then I continued to get hammered. It was at that point that I bumped into the man himself, Adam Sessler. I offered to buy him a drink, and then looked at him and said:

"Are you a scotch or a bourbon guy?"

"Bourbon."

"What? Are you crazy!? Bartender! Two Johnny Walker's, only one ice cube please."

"Don't get me wrong, I love scotch. I just love Bourbon more."

We both promptly finished our drinks, and I attribute it to the fact that a single ice cube scotch is one of the smoothest drinks you can treat your taste buds to. Adam then tried to convince me why Bourbon was better overall. I think we both thought it was a lot louder than it actually was in the bar, because by the end of the conversation we realized we had about 7-8 people staring at us. In the heat of the argument we had raised our voices about 3 times higher than was really necessary to emphasize our points.

"Alright, it's my turn to by you a drink this time. It's time you experienced the Maker's Mark"

"What the fuck is a Maker's Mark?"

It sounded like some kind of mixed drink, and I was expecting a weird concoction of Bourbon and Dr. Pepper or something. What ended up coming to me was a large glass of bourbon filled with ice. Being hammered out of my mind, I was going to take it like a shot. My drunken logic was to pound it to get it over with, and then I could try to make my point sooner. Adam stopped me.

"Trust me on this one, just sip it and enjoy it."

if Adam Sessler offers to buy you a drink, you tell him "No".

It was certainly a delicious drink, but then again I don't remember finishing that drink. I don't remember leaving that bar, and I certainly have no idea how Brian found me and got me home. I do remember waking up with a beast of a hangover the next day. I appreciate everyone putting up with me that night, and I can only imagine it must have been tough.  Also I learned an important lesson, don't let Adam Sessler buy you a drink. 

I still have a lot of these to write, but this finishes my Day coverage.  Look forward to Day 2 and 3!

You can find my subsequent episodes here:

Chris Davidson vs.PAX East Episode 5 I Wish I Had A Press Badge At PAX East

Chris Davidson vs. PAX East Episode 6 Red Dead Redemption Preview!

Extra Stuff!

I'm a comedian, writer, electrical engineer, and all around terrible person.  Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/CasualAlcoholic

Vote Siobhan Magnus on American Idol!  She's a close friend of mine and an all around awesome person. http://siobhanmagnus.blogspot.com/