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Videogame-themed soap is hot right now. Pregnancy tests? Not so much.

Cultural Blips:

• Keep yourself clean via a Master Chief rub down. Don't fancy Tetris soap? No worries -- slather yourself up with Halo's Master Chief. Just don't get too excited now -- keep it clean, folks. Really clean. [GeekyGadgets]

• Puffa Puffa Puffa: Pac-Man zippos light up our lungs. Compulsive eating, pill-popping -- you'd think Namco would stop shilling these disgusting habits to gamers, right? Of course not: Just look at how cool these Pac-Man-themed zippos are. Man, we can't wait to cough our lungs out! [GameSetWatch]

• Laundry simulator like the real thing only 100% less productive. If you dig doing the laundry as much as we do, check out this flash game dedicated to the clothes-cleaning ritual. Can't wait for the sequel: Garbage Day! [Newgrounds]

• Mega Man's not-so-exciting day job is a TPS report's nightmare. Every wonder what Mega Man does when he's not battling evil robots? Answering phones. And generally creeping out everyone around him. [TinyCartridge]

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We wonder why the Japanese always get chosen to make cool animated movies. What, are we Americans incapable of producing stuff like this? OK, maybe we are...

News Blips:

• Japan shows love for Halo via beautiful animation and possible Gravemind tentacle rape. Microsoft announced today that Halo will be getting a compilation of six anime shorts from various Japanese animation studios in one package entitled Halo Legends. We have one request: Make Master Chief dance. [Shacknews]

• Saw director wants to whip Castlevania flick good. The live-action Castlevania movie can't be killed (coincidence?) -- Saw director and co-writer James Wan is now officially on board to co-write and direct the film based on Konami's classic vampire-hunting series. We really hope Wan asks the burning question: What is a man? [1UP]

• Band Hero turns your DS into a makeshift annoy machine. Activison Blizzard announced, yes, another Guitar Hero sequel today, this one for the DS. Band Hero, however, lets you not only play the guitar (via the guitar doohickey that plugs into the GBA port), but also the drums (via four pads that attach to the d-pad and face buttons). Sadly, the triangle attachment is apparently being saved for the sequel. [Joystiq]

• There's plants fighting zombies on my 360. The delectably brain-teasing tower defense game Plants vs. Zombies will be shambling onto Xbox Live Arcade sometime soon. Let's celebrate with a song. [WorthPlaying]

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Editor's note: Rather than sitting around dreaming about finding a girl who enjoys games, Matthew has actually gone and done something about it. Did his application of the scientific method work? You're going to have to read the article to find out. - Aaron

As male videogame enthusiasts we're always looking for the elusive "gamer girl," a unicorn of a creature if you will. The girl who understands the difference between a battle rifle and an assault rifle. Who knows how to throw a hadouken and headshot your buddies from across the map, or can talk about World of Warcraft raids with instead having to humor her with shoe talk.

While there are gamer girls out there, even whole clans of them, it's still undeniably difficult to nab one for yourself. Those of us who already have significant others resort to trying to get our wives and girlfriends into gaming, desperately looking for games that we believe they would enjoy. The Wii has helped bring in a whole herd of new gamers and broken down the accessibility barrier, but you don't want to be playing Wii with your girlfriend for the rest of your days right?

I decided to put games to the test to see how a person who hasn't played a game since the NES would react to modern games. My hope was that I would maybe find that link to get a girl into gaming.

The rules were as follows: I placed my girlfriend Ginny in front of a gauntlet of six games to see what she thought about content, difficulty, and controls. She played each game's tutorial and the first level or quest. Afterwards she would give me her feelings on the game. I actually came up with some surprising results.

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Wow, has it really been 10 years since Halo was first announced on the, uh, Mac? Wait, the Mac? What the hell is that?

Video Blips:

• Halo is not quite legal yet. Only eight more years to go. [GameVideos]

Continue after the break to see Kratos kick medieval ass in Soulcalibur, Sam Fisher kick terrorist ass in Splinter Cell: Conviction, and Miles Edgeworth kick legal ass in Ace Attorney Investigation: Miles Edgeworth.

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Editor's note: Andrew dusts off the trusty calculator once again, crunching the numbers and making some broad comparisons and conclusions about how popular videogame websites present information. No pie charts were harmed during the making of this post. -Demian

I hate videogame websites. Well, not exactly, but my use of them is limited, insofar as they are harder to navigate than the Southern Shore of Newfoundland circa 1756. You can go to any old videogame website and fry your frontal cortex attempting to decide what to do first.

I, like many Bitmob readers, grew up with EGM, where content was delivered in a (more or less) linear fashion, and that content was, to quote Robert Ashley, "curated." Important and interesting stuff was developed, chosen, and organized for a reading experience, not as a method of information delivery. That's why I find websites so offensive, and that's why I hit the 25 most popular videogame websites in an effort to make sense of the madness.

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Editor's Note: Should we be thanking Brett for sharing the prizes he's won on Bitmob (Rhythm Heaven in a random giveaway and Treasure World at our recent community party)? Or shaking our fists at the ingrate for regifting our goodies? Well, at least he's spreading the love -- just hope he's had his shots.

Read after the jump to learn more about this weird little game and how you can win it. -Shoe

[Update: We have a winner. Congrats to Charles Muse!] 

Something I recently discovered about myself: I have a preternatural ability to win DS games.

This realization came as welcome news to my ego, which has lately taken some hits. I'm a noob. My girlfriend moved away. I've got less rhythm than this guy. But give me a contest and a Nintendo DS game, and I'll show you a winner.

Luckily for you, Bitmob readers, I'm also a firm believer in regifting. And that means another chance for you to win a DS game!

Although calling Treasure World a game is a bit of a stretch. It's part geocacher, part dollhouse. A strange combination, to be sure, but if you enjoy painting Warhammer figures and sitting in WiFi-enabled cafes, Treasure World may be the perfect product for you.

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Damn, Mario has really been whored out over the years. And people say Activision Blizzard make a lot of sequels. Guess we know who they learned it from.

Cultural Blips:

(click to see the supersized version)

• Mario family tree of super mushroom-sized proportions. Mario has been in a lot of games. Really. Just look. [Limit Break]

• Cue Game Over ditty: Mario's croaking. You can't always expect Nintendo's portly plumber to win. This illustration proves it. [Offworld]

• These Street Fighter 4 kicks could potentially kick literal ass. Check out these Street Fighter 4-inspired Nike sneakers shoe customizer Daniel Reese made. Note: Shouting "Tatsumaki-Senp? Kyaku" while wearing these will only make you look like an idiot. [GameSetWatch]

• NES papercraft requires no hardcore blowing. If you want to make your own Nintendo Entertainment System out of paper, go right on ahead. Tree-killer. [Offworld]

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And Game Twits returns with a selection of interesting/funny/distressing Twitter communiqués from the gaming industry, as per usual.... (More after the break.)

John Romero, co-founder of Gazillion, with an important safety announcement. Good to know someone's taking the time to imagine the horrific transit accidents of tomorrow.

Game designer/programmer Soren Johnson (Spore, Civ3/4) responds to Denis Dyack's claim that game narrative may eventually supersede gameplay, which in turn spawned this huge discussion among the game design twitterati.

Microsoft's Major Nelson alerts all 48,498 followers (more than two Madison Square Gardens-worth!) to BREAKING NEWS about his airport Internet connection situation!

Indie game designer Petri Purho admits to not only a pro-unicycle stance, but also that he owns multiple unicycles.

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A World of WarCraft live-action movie sounds pretty exciting. And ridiculous. But what do you expect from a game that spawns fans like this?

News Blips:

• World of WarCraft movie equips Sam Raimi for maximum direction. Spider-Man director Sam Raimi has been hired to direct the live-action adaptation of Blizzard's megapopular massively multiplayer online role-playing game. Hopefully fans will find time between raids to actually see the movie. [Variety]

• Activision Blizzard cannot be stopped: Starts new studio with ex EA dudes. The studio is based in the San Francisco Bay Area and is headed up by former Visceral Games (Dead Space) head honchos. No word on what game they're working on, but we know two things: 1) It's an existing Activision brand, and 2) There's already 17 sequels planned. [Shacknews]

• Stan Lee can make cameos in videogames, too; proves it in Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2. The famous comic book creator will show up in the upcoming action role-playing game Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2. Probability of him saying the phrase "true believer": 100%. [Kotaku]

• iPhone adds Mad Dog McCree to contacts list. Ridiculous live-action light-gun shooter Mad Dog McCree will be coming to the iPhone this summer. Anyone got the number for Space Pirates? [Joystiq]

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The last Iron Man game wasn't that great, but this new one looks, well, the same. But, hey, at least you can blast Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" while playing until you either get bored of the song or the game. Not sure which will come first, though (for the game's sake, let's hope for the former).

Video Blips:

• Iron Man 2 debut trailer high in iron/men/explosions. Deficient in copper/women/construction.

Continue after the break to see Ryu kick ass for six minutes, South Park tower defending, bizarro Katamari Forever puppet show, and...more.

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Editor's note: While I had a hard time getting past Trine's $30 price tag, Davneet has found comfort in the feelings of nostalgia the game evokes. Maybe I need to play it some more and see if I can find my happy place. - Aaron

Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. It evokes deep-rooted and compelling feelings; it provides a sentimental yearning for a time in which experiences were more pleasurable and intense. Few modern games have the ability to induce nostalgia more so than Trine. Every aspect of Frozenbyte's side-scroller, from gameplay to story to graphics, provides a longing for past experiences, whether they be videogames or otherwise.

Perhaps one of the more obvious nostalgic aspects is the gameplay itself. Despite full three-dimensional rendering of playable characters, non-playable characters, and environments, Trine is simply a two-dimensional side-scroller. It's a return to a time when there were no camera-control and collision-detection issues. Because of that, the game is immediately accessible and intuitive.

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After Bayonetta Director Hideki Kamiya left us smarting from his, well, smarts, in our last 5 Hit Points interview, we figured it'd be best to find someone who will easily get beat by our five random questions. Y'know, someone who's obviously got the brawn, but maybe not the brains. Someone like, say, WWE wrestler John Morrison.

This dude surely knows how to twist up men in precarious positions, but can he get through our brain-bending quiz without submitting? Find out this Sunday! Err, today, after the break.

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