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I'm sick of being sick.
In the last year, I've caught a cold three times. Sure, I'm not Mr. Balanced when it comes to my diet -- all meat and no veggies is just fine by me. But I don't blame my poor immune system on my lack of vitamin intake. I blame it on you.
I'm talking to you, guy who doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom, then goes around and fondles all the game controllers at a convention. Yeah, you. You're the reason why half the Tweets I read after a show's over are from attendees complaining about sore throats and sniffles.
Don't give me any talk about how your hands didn't make any contact with pee or poop, thus making it "OK" to leave the bathroom without touching soap and water. No! If you had to unzip, then your digits are close enough to your own personal biohazard zone to make washing mandatory for the health and safety of everyone around you.
Don't buy it? Well, tell me if you'd lick your fingers after doing your business without sanitizing? Does that sound gross? Yeah, I thought so.
Listen, you're spreading germs, which leads to illnesses, which leads to sick days, which leads to lower productivity from U.S. workers, which leads to a nationwide economic collapse. Is that what you want? Huh, is it?
OK, maybe you don't give a shit about what happens outside of your own germy little world, but when mom and dad have to start turning down the basement thermostat outside your bedroom, don't complain to us.
So please, just wash your hands after number one or two. As a bonus, we'll stop talking about you behind your back in disgust.
