We game journalists are kind of a big deal. We have the ability to help sell a game through the power of the box quote, positive quips taken by us and then slapped to the back of a box by a publisher.

Well, I've decided to do the industry a great favor and arrange some free box quotes based on the things I was saying about some of E3's biggest titles. You're welcome, video games.

Hey, it worked for Red Dead Redemption!
 

“This makes the original Bioshock look like Doom.”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on Bioshock Infinite

“Thank God this doesn’t suck.”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on Sonic Generations

“Absolutely, incredibly intuitive motion controls during the 50 percent of the time that they work.”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

“The same dragon has never killed me five times in five minutes during one demo.”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on Dark Souls

“At this point, I half expect the narrator to say something if I leave to take a piss.”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on Bastion

“Are you sure you guys made Prey? Did you make a deal with the devil to create the best game ever or something?”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on Prey 2

“This game sucks, but it's the best sucking game I’ve ever played.”

-Mike Minotti of Bitmob on Luigi’s Mansion 2