This is a screenshot from Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, Sega's new racing game coming out on every console this holiday season. As the title suggests, it features a cast of characters from throughout Sega history (and also NASCAR star Danica Patrick, for some reason).

I haven't played the game, so I can't speak to its quality. It might be fun driving a combination car, plane, and boat (hereafter known as an aeroautomotiboat) around. But look at Sonic up there. Sure, he's driving through an exotic locale behind the wheel of a sweet-ass aeroautomotiboat, but is he happy?

He can't be.

Sonic is known for three things: running really fast, jumping, and freeing baby animals. He can't do any of that shit in an aeroautomotiboat, and in fact soft and fragile baby animals are in more danger than ever with those things careening around on every terrain imaginable.

If I sound old here, it's because I am. I'm not sure why Sega is more interested in drumming Sonic out as a mascot than it is in honoring why people like him in the first place. Every hoverboard, track-and-field event, and, yes, aeroautomotiboat is another slap in the face of a once-proud creature.

Let me put this into perspective: Look at Sonic in his hot rod up there. Now think back and remember that in his more foot-driven games, he ran around wearing nothing but red shoes and some cartoon gloves.

Which is more embarrassing?