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Many of you already know this, or your subconscious knows it, but I thought why not spell it out in the simplest terms possible. No long winded argument or impassioned diatribe. Just my opinion, presented as fact: Duke Nukem, as both a game and a character, is obsolete.
He’s a rude, misogynistic dirtbag with diarrhea of the mouth who loves strippers and blowing shit up. It was campy back then; now it’s just tired. Movies like Grindhouse have appealed to similar faculties, with debatable success, yet Duke seems strangely out of place 14 years after the game’s original announcement.
Look back at the shooters we were playing in the late 90s, when Duke Nukem Forever was still a “game in development” and not a “running joke.” Goldeneye, Quake, Half-Life, even Duke Nukem 3D –- all classics, and no doubt worth revisiting. But it doesn’t take much examination to notice that they can’t hold a candle to today’s shooters.
There is simply no possibility that Gearbox, however respectable their track record, will be able to elevate Forever from its troubled past well enough for it to compete with Halo: Reach, Call of Duty: Black Ops, and whatever other modern shooters have impressed new genre conventions on gamers by the time it hits shelves next year.
I’m 22 years old. I’ve been gaming nonstop since I was three. I don’t remember ever playing a single game starring “the King, baby,” but for this argument, I don’t have to. Actually, that very fact is the nail in Duke’s digital coffin. Despite shows of enthusiasm by PAX goers slightly older than myself, the appeal of Duke Nukem Forever lies solely in the novelty of seeing it actually released. Gamers, and gaming, have evolved, and there’s no longer a place for him in our world.
