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No one ever talks about the tragic side of Mario. He spends his life running after a princess who seemingly wants little to do with him. Sure, she may accompany him for a round of golf or a couple of laps around the kart track, but why isn't she Mrs. Mario yet?

Tragically, she only realized how much she loved him when she was holding his lifeless body [via gaming.reddit]:

Sadly, I know nothing else about the origins of this story. I found the picture on reddit but no article to back it up. Do any of our readers know more about this statue? Is this something you could buy? Not that I want to buy it....

Although it would look nice next to my National Treasure 2 poster....

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Editor's note: Every new entry in Max's Disgruntled Vegetable column is a delight -- it's been over three months since the last one! This issue contains some fine reporting about the ongoing Health Bar™ issue and a bonus animation made by the Editor in Chief of The Disgruntled Vegetable himself! -James

WASHINGTON -- In a surprisingly bipartisan decision, both the United States Senate and House of Representatives unanimously approved funding to provide the nation's Armed Forces with Health Bars in order to ensure the troops' safety. Many proponents believe this new equipment contains the essence of life -- displayed in an easy-to-understand linear form. As a user becomes hurt or injured, the contents of the Bar decrease in size, signifying that the user is drawing closer to death. It is believed that this will save many lives on the battlefield because the new Health Bars will allow soldiers to withstand a tremendous amounts of damage that they previously could not.

“We have suffered many lost lives due to our enemies being able to defeat us with a single touch,” said a top Army general. “After the Geneva Convention, international law banned cheat codes from use in armed conflicts, so it is not possible to come across extra lives anymore.”

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What's made of 10-karat solid gold, diamonds, and sells for the low, low price of $2,600? Well, this [via Plugged In]:

As cool as superexpensive gaming jewelry is, what's the point? Diamonds are supposed to make you look classy, which I imagine would be hard to pull off with Mario glittering like a thousand suns under your neck.

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Someone scrambled up these shooters! They swapped the ships in the pictures below and made five matched pairs. Can you figure out which vessel goes with which game?

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Full disclaimer: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures flew me out and put me up in a hotel to see an early screening of this motion picture.

I'm not a movie critic, and I wouldn't do their craft injustice by attempting to do a full, proper review of Walt Disney Pictures' upcoming Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Not that it would be of any use to anyone right now anyway -- the film doesn't even come out until May 28. But after a flurry of Tweets where I talked about the bizarre circumstances surrounding my 1.5-minute interview with Producer Jerry Bruckheimer, the number-one thing my Twitter followers wanted to know was: How was the movie? Perhaps followed closely by: How many explosions were there?

Here is my quick and simple take from a gamer's point of view. And "quick and simple take" means I'm going to interview myself....

Does the movie do the game license justice?

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Editor's note: Erik argues that the Wii Remote's less-than-1:1 accuracy is the reason for its mainstream success, and a necessary stepping stone on the way to Sony's Move and Microsoft's Natal. -Demian

Lacking. Anyone who has used the original Wii Remote might describe its limited accuracy with that word. Nintendo responded to critics with the Wii MotionPlus, an attachment that adds greater motion-tracking fidelity -- but many in the media pointed out that the Wii should've included that functionality from the very beginning. 

However, considering the staggering console-sales lead that Nintendo holds over Sony and Microsoft this generation, was releasing the Wii with inferior motion controls really a bad move? I'm going with a no. The controller’s original design meant that the sensor could only detect relatively broad movements -- and that simplicity has been the Wii's greatest strength.

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I've spent my share of time hitting the dance pads of the myriad iterations of Dance Dance Revolution at arcades and on consoles. While trying to top my high score is fun -- and one heck of a workout -- I'm not so much dancing as hopping around like a kid with a sugar high and a small bladder.

Developer Softkinetic aims to evolve the rhythm dance market with Silhouette, a game planned for consoles and arcades that takes advantage of 3D camera technology. Similar to Microsoft's Project Natal, Silhouette requires no controller input. That means no more tapping arrows. Instead, you must contort your whole body to the rhythm.

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The Escapist's Russ Pitts, GameXplain.com's Andre Segers, and ex-journalist-turned-indie-dev Shanker Srinivasan join Bitmob's Aaron Thomas on this week's show. 

The group remembers lost game saves, questions the importance of story over gameplay, ponders a one-console future, debates in-browser 3D gaming, and recalls their most epic gaming binges.

They also complain about getting old, mock Shanker for wasting hundreds of hours on one (broken) game, and alienate anyone who has ever played Farmville. Good times!

Have a question you want answered? Want to share some important insight with the world? E-mail the crew at letters@bitmob.com.

Click here to find out how you can get in on the "3 Great Prizes, 3 Ways to Win" giveaway.

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Welcome back for another week of community-submitted video game tunes!

For those of you who aren't aware, a car struck me while I was riding my bike the other day. It was a hit and run, and I'm currently recovering from a broken clavicle. On that note, I've decided to keep my selections upbeat this week -- collarbone be damned!

The community busted out with a pretty awesome selection of songs, too. Contributor Alex R. Cronk-Young jumped in with the main theme from an uber-popular Internet meme called Robot Unicorn Attack. Jukebox regulars Jimmy Flores and Ryan Conway represent Sonic two-fold -- maybe they are gearing up for Sonic 4. And Bitmob's resident RPG guru, Brian Shirk, suggests a great tune from yet another re-release of the original Lunar.

Want to know how to get your song on the list? Hit the jump and find out how.

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Editor's note: I'm constantly thinking about the issues that Matthew highlights here. With parenthood comes new responsibility: How does one keep up with the fast-moving culture of video games, then? By focusing my passion for the pastime into writing for Bitmob, I think I'm one step closer to the answer. -Rob

Last week, my wife and I welcomed another baby boy into this crazy world.

After the excitement died down and life returned to what I like to call "the new normal," I found myself in a similar frame of thought as when our last child was born: reflective, contemplative, and wondering what effect midnight feedings and soccer-practice runs would have on my hobby of choice -- gaming.

I'd read somewhere that a lot of people -- typically of the male persuasion -- have a hard time giving up their independence as well as their already scant free time to diaper changes and impromptu baths.

It's rough when your little bubble of personal space is summarily popped by rug rats riding stick horses and packing rubber-band guns. With our last youngling, I eventually adjusted and actually learned to better appreciate my constant need to twiddle my thumbs in front of a television.

Naturally, when number three decided to part with the womb, I wondered when those overwhelming feelings of loss would show up and cause me to grasp at the slipping straws that were my playtime. One week later, it still hasn't hit me. And I don't think that it will.

I can't really summarize what video games mean to me; they strike me in both profound and simple ways. That will never change. Where I've found my path diverging is how I've come to appreciate them.

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Developers have attempted to imitate Mega Man endlessly, trying to capture the little blue guy's magic. At the same time, those of us who grew up with the game never get tired of reminding younger gamers how much the series rocks. The maker of this exceptionally well-done video obviously wanted to accomplish all of the above. Rick Mann is looking for a raise, but to get it he has to defeat the evil Boss Man [via Capcom Unity]:

Kind of anticlimactic that Boss Man's own greed was the weapon Rick uses to defeat him. Then again, that's what Mega Man was always about -- using the bosses' weapons against each other. And the encounter did give our hero a red-tie power-up.

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