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Rockstar just announced The Ballad of Gay Tony, a new downloadable episode for Grand Theft Auto 4. The official press release is copied below if you're interested in such things, but I gotta say...this logo is FAB-u-LOUS!

I'm quite impressed that Rockstar doesn't shy away from potentially controversial subject matters. When the country was in tizzy over the violence in GTA, out comes Manhunt, a much, much more brutal game. I even complimented Rockstar for this in my EGM review of Manhunt at the time, although some readers and my fellow reviewers didn't agree, calling it more a desperate plea for attention and sales.

But trust me. The heat that politicians, Jack Thompsons, and middle America can put on, Rockstar doesn't want...especially when legal costs are involved. So with The Ballad of Gay Tony (and its FAB-u-LOUS! logo), I'm still glad the publisher is willing to go where other games and Miss California dare not.

It's just too bad some things are out of Rockstar's control. They got screwed bad when the original Manhunt 2 was slapped with a retail-killing Adults-Only ESRB rating.

Here's more info on Gay Tony's adventures via the press release:

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Well, we all knew the new Tony Hawk doohickey would be expensive, so we're not really surprised. We're still holding off for a peripheral-based rollerblading game, though.

News Blips:

• Wheel-less plastic skateboard costs more than real, wheeled skateboard. Online videogame shop GameStop is saying the upcoming peripheral-packed Tony Hawk Ride will cost a whopping 120 bones. Think that's a lot? Imagine if that thing had wheels. [Kotaku]

• David Jaffe declines four-way offer with Electronic, Entertainment, and Expo. The outspoken God of War director officially confirmed via a video blog that he will not be showing off his not-so-mysterious new game (rumored to be a new PS3 Twisted Metal) at next week's E3 trade show. Performance anxiety, maybe? [VG247]

• High Voltage stick another game in Wii socket. The developers behind upcoming Wii shooter The Conduit announced they're making Roman-inspired fighter Gladiator A.D. for the Wii as well. Nice to see a developer giving the Wii some hardcore love. [IGN]

• New PixelJunk game is a shooter, officially. Well, the name of the game is at least. Developer Q-Games announced its new PSN game will be entitled PixelJunk Shooter. Sadly, you don't play as a gun. Or a one to four-ounce alcoholic beverage. [Joystiq]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including some Diablo 3 demons, drunk anime chicks, and...more.

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We all know that E3 is the most anticipated event of the year for the world of videogames, and those of us at Area 5 are going to do everything we can to bring you with us! Next week, CO-OP will have three recorded/edited shows and three LIVE shows! Check out the full schedule for both us and the Totally Rad Show guys at http://revision3.com/e3.

We take a bit of a breather at The Napper Tandy again (the local, Irish beer-me-and-food-me), this week, and talk with G4's Patrick Klepek about what we're most excited to see at E3 next week. The big three, Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo are on everybody's lips and we're all planning to Sam Fisher our way into their events, but for us it's all about the games we already know will have a showing. Follow our predictions and then share with us on our blog or here at Bitmob what you're most excited about!

Patrick was also kind enough to hang around after our E3 chat and talk with Matt about the enigmatically difficult Patapon 2. They both agree that it may be too much for the typical adult life to handle, but it's got some real genius.

It's not every day you get to have a conversation with 1UP's David Ellis and Scott Sharkey on our balcony. They do us a solid and come by to share the love over Nintendo's latest nostalgic rehash: Punch Out!!. Will there ever come a time when our childhood gaming memories will be insufficient cause to make us open our wallets? May that day never come. Watch or download the show after the jump!

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I touched on this lightly in my debut Bitmob post, but with retro remakes and reboots all the rage these days, I felt a certain subject needed to be addressed in its own blog entry. It's something pretty much every older gamer experiences, but we tend to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. But it's OK -- we shouldn't deny this virility-robbing condition. So let's talk about...the terrifying curse of old-man hands.

First, let's give credit where it's due. I first heard the term bandied about by Bitmob overlord Dan "Shoe" Hsu back in his EGM editor-in-chief days. Every time Shoe reviewed...well, pretty much every game that required quick-twitch muscle fibers and wasn't Mario Party, he'd blame his underachieving performances on his "old-man hands." The implication was clear: "I could kick your ass, young intern Brooksie, if only I were 10 years younger." As a thirtysomething gamer (but, just to clarify, still several years younger than Old Man Shoe!), those feelings resonate with me: I definitely feel like I've "lost a step," and the condition only worsens with each passing year.

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Today isn't just about remembering the brave men and women who fought for our country. We must also remember the courageous soldiers who fought for our free time. So please pause your game for these Memorial Day Heroes, beginning with Halo's smack-talking Sergeant:

Avery Junior Johnson

2472-2552

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Ah, Memorial Day weekend, the kickoff to those sweet summer hours and a time when tentpole action films rule. True to form, I saw Terminator: Salvation on Saturday...but that doesn't mean I should play the game, at least according to the Metacritic breakdown.

And that got me thinking. Action games seem like such a natural match for these testosterone-filled flicks, yet celebrated conversions are the exception. In the end, I'd rather play Gears of War 2 than Terminator: Salvation, God of War 2 instead of Wolverine. So why don't these publishers try something different and leave the action to the pros? Instead, to tap in on some of that sweet Hollywood scrilla, they need to go in a new direction with a totally different genre: romantic comedies.

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And we're back! Technical difficulties prevented Mobcast #2 from ever getting off the ground, but we're back in force with this latest episode, in which a hat plays a pivotal role in this week's proceedings. (Oh, and below the break is our final segment breakdown, which will make sense after you listen to the show...so do it already!)

Bitmob.com - Mobcast #3: The Mobcast is back, with style to spare. This week, old friends Jennifer Tsao and television's Seanbaby of the Internet join Dan Hsu, Robert Ashley, and Greg Ford as they talk five new topics: Plastic instruments, E3, PS1 gems, gaming memories, and MadLibs starring Miyamoto. Enjoy. And digg it if you're so moved!

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Billboards are quickly becoming the best source for news. Especially ones strategically placed near big videogame conventions happening next week.

News Blips:

• Finally play Final Fantasy 13...in 2010. What, you thought it'd actually come out this year? Stop OD'ing on potions, buddy. But we can say that we'll undoubtedly get to play Square Enix's latest role-playing game next year thanks to the words "Coming 2010" written on the game's huge billboard going up for next week's Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) trade show. As for when we'll actually play Versus 13? We asked the billboard for any clues, but it didn't say anything. Because it's paper. [Square Enix Members]

• Bored bees attack NYC GameStop for fun, staff not amused. Don't you hate when this happens? During the weekend, a hive of angry bees attacked a New York City GameStop for a few hours, leaving the employees no choice but to hide in the store while onlookers wondered, "Where da honey at?" Eventually the bees were whisked away, but the honey is still left to be found. Hell, even this guy can't find it. [Joystiq]

• 4.4 million people invite evil into their homes; church loses faith. Capcom revealed that its latest zombie-game-that-doesn't-really-feature-zombies, Resident Evil 5, has sold over 4.4 million copies worldwide. Strangely, it's not selling too well in Africa. Hmm, wonder why? [Kotaku]

• Metroid Prime: Buy one, get two free. Nintendo, forgetting that a big videogame show is next week, announced that it is releasing all three Metroid Prime games on one convenient Wii disc. Better yet, the two GameCube 'Primes now have added Wii Remote controls. Pick up this three-pack in August for 50 bones. [GameSpot]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including, yep, another Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 trailer, a Bionic ass-touching, real life Katamari ball, and...more.

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Editor's Note: Fun topic here. You know, the original Bionic Commando is indeed a tough game, but that didn't dissuade me from playing it back in the day -- I just assumed all Nintendo games were supposed to be that hard or have a steep learning curve. But man, once you get the hang of those controls.... -Greg

When I first played Bionic Commando (the original), I absolutely hated the game. It was not intuitive; rather, it was obtrusive and offensive. Mario can jump and he's a fat, mustachioed, pasta-eating plumber, yet I'm supposed to be some sort of special commando with a bionic arm but can't freakin' lift my own body weight off the ground? I decided to go ahead and swing on past this one.

Fast-forward to Bionic Commando: Rearmed.

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What the hell is The Thrill of Combat, you may be wondering. Well, it's an indie game by Mark Essen that's kind of like Choplifter in the sense that it has a chopper and you shoot stuff, but that's where the similarities end and the organ harvesting begins. Because yeah, you harvest lungs, livers, pancreases, and more with a magical organ laser, all to a bumping beat. Just watch the video. So has anyone played it? It costs $4.95, and right now I think I'd be happier with my $4.95. Still! Organ harvesting.

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