The other night, after my best friend’s graduation, the topic of the new A Nightmare on Elm Street remake came up over drinks and burgers. While we reminisced about the franchise, my mind wandered to the NES Elm Street game. I brought up the idea of writing a Bitmob article about the game to commemorate the release of the new movie this Friday. As I described the game -- a platformer that has players fighting to stay awake while fending off Freddy -- my friends seemed genuinely interested in the prospect of a digital Elm Street experience.

That is, until I mentioned that LJN published it. Everyone at the table literally groaned in unison. Even though Rare developed A Nightmare on Elm Street, we all understood tacitly that nothing with the LJN logo on it ever stood as a shining example of excellent game design.

It’s a shame, because despite its terrible collision detection and repetitive game play, Elm Street had some really interesting ideas hidden beneath its muddled veneer. To shine a better light on Elm Street’s hidden nightmare, while sparing Bitmob readers the horror of having to suffer such a dodgy experience, I took it upon myself to play it in their stead. You’re welcome.

Elm Street is most notable for being one of the few games that supported the NES Four Score, allowing up to four players to play at the same time. It’s also notable for being one of the worst Four Score games. Having four copies of Ajax from The Warriors running around a 4:3 platforming environment is amusing for a little while, but ultimately pointless. New Super Mario Bros. Wii, this ain’t.

The nightmare begins here, in front of a house that you may or may not be able to enter. The game flow of Elm Street is a little odd. The initial goal is to walk up and down the Elm Street overworld, punching and dodging snakes, bats, and zombies, while trying to discover which of the three beginning houses you’re allowed to enter. There’s no visual indication to tell you which house you’re allowed to enter, either. Luck isn’t with me today, so I head off to the right.

Elm Street lets you get hit four times before you die -- though this isn’t indicated anywhere on the screen despite the massive logo taking up valuable real estate. That meter you see at the top of the screen, presumably a health meter, actually measures how sleepy you are.

The sleep meter drains gradually, but taking damage from enemies or standing still causes it to drop faster. Collecting cups of coffee fills up your meter. When the meter empties, the perspective shifts to the Dream World. Water becomes blood. Bats become skeleton bats. Zombies become… tougher zombies. All enemies take more hits to kill in the Dream World, to boot, making your weak-as-sin punch attack just about useless. In the early stages of the game, it’s not a place you want to be, but due to the collision detection problems and wonky controls, you’ll end up there pretty quickly, as I did.

Of course, the house furthest from me is the open one. Inside, I’m supposed to gather all of Freddy’s bones that lay strewn about the level. The indoor levels are a lot more difficult than the overworld, and as with all Rare games, the momentum you keep after running will put you in the bottom of a pit more often than not.

Unfortunately, while I’m gathering bones, I fall victim to the biggest disadvantage of being caught in the Dream World: Random encounters with Freddy.

The only way to know that Freddy is coming is to listen for the music to switch to a pretty faithful rendition of Freddy’s song. When the music stops, the game informs you none-too-subtly that you’re about to get cut by a burn victim.

The first time you run into Freddy, you’ll probably lose most of your lives, as you have to punch him to damage him. Thanks to horrible AI, though, he’s not too difficult once you get his pattern down.

After flooring Freddy with my knockout punch, I finish collecting the rest of the bones and make my way into the basement. Thankfully, there’s a boom box waiting for me. Collecting the boom box while in the Dream World plays a cool 8-bit guitar riff and wakes your character up, placing him back in the real world.

With the basement bones collected, I’m allowed to fight the boss of the first house. Fortunately -- and I’ll explain why later -- the game drops you into the Dream World during boss fights whether you’re awake when you reach the end of the level or not.

The first boss is Freddy’s signature claw glove attached to a chain. It’s the most difficult fight of the game for me, as I didn’t realize I that I was in the Dream World when fighting bosses, which gives you a distinct advantage. I slowly pummel the claw glove to death, reawakening in the real world with a key and an extra life for my efforts.