Football – That’s what Demon’s Souls reminds me of.  Yes, I said football. 

I love football. 

But there is a demon in football that you must overcome to truly enjoy the sport:

-  Conditioning -

“Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” – Vince Lombardi

Yes, I remember those days all too well.  I had one coach, in particular, who loved to see how much he could run us; how far he could push us.  This demon took it as a personal challenge to make, at least, one of us vomit.  At times, he succeeded.  When he didn’t, he ran us more because he was annoyed that no one gave in to his torture.

Yes, I remember begging for the oxygen around me to enter my lungs during one of our brief breaks.  I remember how good the water would taste in my imagination as I pretended this hell was finally all over, and I was sucking in as much water as my body could handle. 

                                               It’s amazing how precious oxygen and water can be during those moments.

I remember contemplating telling the coach F--- himself.

                                                                            It’s amazing how much I hated him during those moments. 

Those moments are moments of self-pity.  You hate the a—hole coach making you do it.  You hate your lungs for not breathing oxygen fast enough.  You hate the image of water as it tempts you with its savory flavor.  You hate yourself for ever allowing yourself to be in this predicament. 

But then it happens --that one fleeting moment, when you make brief eye contact with your teammate right next to you.

Both of you are hunched over.  Slight smirks briefly run across both of your faces, laughing at each other.  You both know what the other is going through.  You both know what the other is thinking…

                                 …and something about that is funny.

You exchange nods.

You realize what’s happening.  You’re doing this together:

                Blood

                                    Sweat

                        Tears

There’s something strangely unifying about humanity suffering together.

Experiencing pain together.

Sharing it.

The phrase “I’m sorry for your loss” doesn’t exist.  There is no sorry.  There’s mutual understanding.  There’s mutual respect.  There’s unity and communal encouragement. 

The whistle blows.

“RUN, YOU MOTHAF-----S!  WHO’S GONNA FILL MY VOMIT BUCKET TODAY?!!”

TO ALL DEMON’S SOULS PLAYERS:

Thank you.

There were times when I thought I would lose my desire to finish the game.  If I had been by myself, I probably would have quit. 

But every time I hated Demon’s Souls; every time Demon’s Souls made me want to vomit; every time I wanted to tell Demon’s Souls to F---  itself…

you were there.

Those moments were fleeting. 

Sometimes you left me brief words of caution.  Sometimes you were a white ghost fighting a boss I had just defeated.  Sometimes you were a red ghost providing a death of warning.  I will admit that there were times when a slight smirk ran across my face when I saw you die.  It was not a malicious smirk.  I just understood what you were going through.  I knew what you were thinking.

I don’t know who you are.  I never will. 

But thanks for pushing me through.  Thanks for not letting me give up.

- Sincerely,

Your brother of blood, sweat, and tears.

May we vomit together in the sequel to come.