I wake up at 10am local time which means that I’ve finally overcome the ugly beast that is jetlag. Excited to start my first day in Tokyo in which I might avoid a lengthy mid-afternoon nap, I hop out of bed only to discover that tragedy has struck overnight. The previous evening’s not-quite-Mexican themed festivities have claimed a victim. Team McReynolds member Stacey has succumbed to a massive hangover and, frankly, still reeks of stale beer and macaroni salad. I ask her if there’s anything I can get her to help in her recovery. “Pancakes and french fries”, she replies. Already I’m losing hope that I’ll have my travel mate with me today.

I spend the next four hours bringing Stac hangover food, keeping her hydrated, and watching weird Japanese news. This hangover is beginning to eat into our time earmarked for Shibuya and Odaiba- the latter home to Sega’s indoor theme park. Stacey sees that I’m getting antsy and tells me she’s not gonna make it out of the hotel for the day, but that I should go to Shibuya and let her know how it is. I’ll be venturing out less my player two. Continue?

Suntory’s 7-11 brand The Brew. Their tagline: ‘It was a good idea at the time’.

Saddened by my loss, I begin the walk toward Shibuya. After about a mile on foot I’m starting to realize that there’s really not a lot of difference between Shinjuku (where we’re staying) and Shibuya. More offices, fewer malls and arcades mean that I’ll be able to tell Stacey she hasn’t missed anything. I give myself another couple of blocks before heading back when serendipity strikes me like Bolt 3. Or Thundaga, if you’d prefer. Without any prior knowledge to it being there, without looking for it at all, I stumble upon Square Enix headquarters.

The building is nondescript- just another in a long row of smallish offices, but at the bottom resides the Square Enix Character Goods Shop. Still getting over the shock of my accidental find, my mind begins to process the staggering amount of awesome that lay before me. To say that I’m unprepared is an understatement- I didn’t grab the camera when I left the hotel and I’ve got maybe 2,000 yen on me. I resolve to make due with what I’ve got and enter with my DSi camera at the ready

.Having just been released in Japan like a week ago, the front room is decked out in Dragon Quest IX gear. Slimes, Slime Knights, Mimes (treasure chest monsters, for the uninitiated) and the like line the walls. There are stuffed toys, t-shirts, charms, and other knick knackery- but it’s all for Dragon Quest. I spot some Chocobos, Tonberrys, and Cactuar stuffed toys and begin to think that might be all there is for the Final Fantasy fanboy.

Towards the back of the shop is a small black staircase that leads to a back room- a room that looks more like a museum. Orchestral music plays and I find all of the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts related items. Mostly statues with some jewelry and super expensive armor and art pieces are on display, but the real attraction is the life-size, Lifestream encased Sephiroth inset in the floor. I get to work taking pictures but the low light and mirrored walls make most of them look like garbage. The ones that come out alright feature me as prominently as the actual subject of the pic and, to make matters worse, the store is closing. Like it or not, Stac will have to make the trip to Shibuya with me tomorrow.

Center: Yuffie, Left: Douchebag in Lumberjack shirt.

Upon returning to the hotel and filling Stacey in on my unexpected find we make a game plan for the next day- our last full day in Tokyo. Over dinner we decide on Tokyo Tower first thing in the morning, Odaiba and Sega Joypolis in the afternoon, and Squenix just before they close.

I won’t bore you with the details of Tokyo Tower- it’s tall and you can see the whole city- but I WILL bore you with the details of their mascots. I’ve made mention of this before, but Japan loves mascots like America loves diabetes. Every organization and location has some sort of inane cartoon envoy to greet you and the Noppon Brothers of Tokyo Tower are my favorite. There’s no need for me to come up with some kind of joke here- I’ll let their bio speak for itself:

The honorary third member of Team McReynolds: Younger Brother Noppon. So far as I’m concerned, he’s already a top star.

Stop right now. Go back and read the mottos again. Hell, copy and paste them onto your facebook profile- that shit is wisdom. Our hot hearts satisfied, Stacey and I continue on to Odaiba.

Odaiba is home to several tourist attractions- the giant Gundam statue, Toyota’s Megaweb, Tokyo’s answer to London’s Millenium ferris wheel, and several others- but due to alcohol induced time constraints we’re cutting back to cover only Sega Joypolis. If you read my first prologue post (you did, right?) you know this is among the things I was most excited for prior to my trip. I’m sad to report it was also the biggest disappointment.

Joypolis suffers from several issues, and space has to be number one. The only two non-simulator rides could be likened to the sort of thing you’d find at a carnival rather than Six Flags. Spin Bullet is the only legit roller coaster and it was alright, but also indicative of another major problem- lack of theme. I went to Sega’s park because I expected to see Sonic and (ugh) his friends or maybe Ulala and the monkey guy from Samba de Amigo. No dice. Instead they were celebrating the 35^th anniversary of the Pink Panther. If you can tell me how this even remotely relates to Sega then do me a favor- keep it to yourself. Just get back to writing your furry fanfic.

So here we have the Spin Bullet which mimics the movements of Sonic the Hedgehog around Green Hill Zone and neither he or his likeness are anywhere to be seen save for the gift shop. Lame. The upper levels house the simulator rides which have absolutely zero relation to any Sega franchise. Also, the place is so small that you can still see the people waiting in line from within the ‘vehicle’. As you can imagine, this is a real illusion killer. The immersion style gun simulators- one jungle themed and another actually from House of the Dead- are the only bright spots. The sort of thing that makes sense in an arcade theme park, plus they’re fully enclosed and shake you around a good bit. Beyond those two attractions, I’d encourage potential visitors to take a pass on Joypolis.

I guess this is from an as of yet unreleased Dreamcast 2 game.

The Team returns to Shibuya in a hurry and we’re able to make Square Enix well before close. Armed with a much better camera, plenty of yen, and a skilled photographer- I make the most of it. Being an FFVII fan, I quickly find that anything with Cloud on it is sold out. Cloud from FFVII- sold out, Cloud from Advent Children- sold out, Cloud from Kingdom Hearts- sold out, even Cloud from Crisis Core sans Buster Sword is- sold out. Luckily they had recently restocked Sephiroth stuff- so I end up with a Sephiroth figure and a Tonberry confident that my cubical will be thoroughly pimped when I get back home.

Taken right before the confetti fell and the music started playing. Turns out, I’m the millionth sweaty nerd to pose for this exact same picture today!

And that is how it was. The next morning Stac and I had breakfast and began the day long trip back to Atlanta. I’ve omitted quite a lot to maintain some pretense of video game theme and because some of it was only fun if you were there. 100 yen shops, political rallies, several game stores, panda buses, incredible food, and much more hit the cutting room floor in the interest of both content and brevity. I tried to make this a gamer’s guide of what to see in Tokyo if you’ve only got a couple of days and I’m sure I missed a good bit. Those of you headed to TGS next week and anyone else planning a trip to Japan should totally feel free to fill in my blanks.

I went to Japan on a pilgrimage of sorts and I’m glad to say it was worth it. If you’ve got the interest and you’ve got the means- go. You won’t regret it. Say hi to the Noppons for me.

Late to the party? Click here to read about the trip from the beginning.