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Mob Rule: Murdering Your Darlings -- Supposedly Great Games We Hated

Andrewh
Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Editor's note: See, this is why I like this website. A bunch of Bitmob members got together with a feature idea, and boom, here it is. Although I still can't understand how someone can not like Geometry Wars -- that just doesn't make sense. -Demian


With a little bit of fancy technology, the Bitmob community pitched in on a collaboration -- via Google Wave, I asked everyone to write about the worst but technically sound/well-developed/fan-favorite game they've ever played. By definition, some people won't be happy. That includes you, Halo fans, Shadow of the Colossus fans, Metroid fans...the list goes on.

Missed out on your chance to contribute? It's not too late to jump in on Jeff Grubb's "2009 was the year of..." topic! If you have a Google Wave account, add and ping me at andrewjhiscock@googlewave.com. If you're not on Google Wave, email me at andrewjhiscock@gmail.com for your Google Wave invitation (just include your real name, so I can keep invites to Bitmob community members).

And without further ado, here's the Bitmob community taking it to some of your favorite games....

 

Patapon

Alex R. Cronk-Young says: Patapon toyed with my emotions. I wanted to love it so badly, but once I got a good chunk into the game I hit a wall. So began the grind, but after hours of leveling up my patapon, I still couldn't progress. I really, really want to love it. I still bought Patapon 2, but I'm worried it'll end in the same way. Still, some part of me wonders if I just didn't get the first Patapon. The level I couldn't get through was one in which I had to summon rain, but every time I tried the song failed. I took this to mean that I was under-leveled, but maybe I just screwed something up. Let's hope I don't have the same frustrations with the second game.

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Brian Petro-Roy says: Let's get one thing clear from the get-go: I loved Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I loved everything about it -- the lush environments of the castle, the platforming, the sand powers, the combat, and especially the hilarious, witty banter between the Prince and Farah.

I bought Warrior Within on release day, brought it home, popped it in my Xbox and said, 'What the hell is this crap?' Gone were the colorful settings, the witty banter, and the Persian-rock fusion of the original game's soundtrack -- replaced with drab environments, growled one-liners, and generic metal, with the added 'bonus' of an increased focus on unnecessarily gory combat and painfully ridiculous outfits (and figures) on the female characters.

After a couple hours, I was so fed up with the art direction and over-emphasis on combat that I brought the game back and traded it in (only the second time I've ever done that). The series thankfully redeemed itself with The Two Thrones, but I've never regretted giving up on Warrior Within.

Shadow of the Colossus

Jon Shults says: I wouldn't call Shadow of the Colossus a bad game -- it was interesting, and the boss-fights-only mechanic was certainly something that hadn't been done before. I enjoyed most of the colossus battles. However, it just didn't grab me as amazing. People fawn over the subtle way your character changes each time you down a colossus, but I never even noticed. The game has such minimal direction -- 'Well, I must be here to bring her back to life, and I guess I have to do it by killing these colossi, because the game doesn't present any other challenges.' It makes assumptions that at this point I should be feeling X, and have a desire to do Y, when in fact I have no other option if I wish to progress in the game. This is not necessarily a fault, as most games won't let you proceed until you achieve the arbitrary goal at hand, but I don't think Shadow of the Colossus deserves credit as some fantastic milestone in gaming.

It's just too subtle for its own good. Another example: the lizard tail collect-a-thon. The game never explains what the lizards do for you, or even hints at their existence; you're supposed to just feel that you should kill them and get their tails.

Call of Duty: World at War

Ultan O'Connell says: I was a massive Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare fan, and I eagerly awaited the release of World at War. I didn't mind that it was a return to WW2; I just wanted more CoD action. I bought it day one, but the game felt dull and samey to me. I yearned for the same tension-filled, action experience that I got from CoD4, but it just wasn't there. My friends raved about the game, and magazines and websites delivered great reviews, but I just couldn't bring myself to like it. Oh boy, did I try. I played the majority of single-player but ultimately quit due to boredom. I turned to online multiplayer to satiate my hunger, but I found that sorely lacking, too. It just didn't have the same magic as CoD4. To me, it was an empty experience.

Metroid Prime

Daniel Feit says: I remember bringing Metroid Prime home from the store, booting up my GameCube with anticipation, then drooling over the title screen -- the title screen, of all things -- before finally pressing start. After nearly a decade of inaction, Samus Aran was back, only now in 3D! What was not to like?

In my case, the answer proved to be 'everything.' Scanning every little data port was a horrible chore, the FPS combat wasn't as fun as the straightforward 2D variety, and Samus' distinct jump and somersault were hopelessly lost in the translation to 3D. I know people herald Metroid Prime as an evolution, but for me, taking a favorite franchise and turning it into yet another FPS almost killed my interest in all video games.

Thankfully, I recovered...six years later. But that's another story.


Grand Theft Auto 4 and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Rob Savillo says: I was pretty disappointed with Grand Theft Auto 4 and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the same reason -- they're boring. The introductory parts of the games are a bunch of uninteresting fetch quests. I don't really care about setting up a date -- I'm playing GTA to blow shit up! Oh, you lost your cat? So where are all the dungeons I need to crawl through to liberate Hyrule, anyway?

Each game took too long to engage me, and after a few hours with each I put them down, never to return.

The Mega Man Franchise

Jeff Michael Grubb says: Prepare your flogging instruments (floggers?). I don't really get Mega Man. I mean, I get why other people like it, but it never really stuck for me. Not being able to shoot up was always my biggest gripe. I like the character and the music, but Mega Man just didn't move and jump right. I guess Mario ruined me for all other platformers.

Geometry Wars

Jay Henningsen says: Everyone loved Geometry Wars when it first came out. It had style and it was pretty, but annoyed the hell out of me. I wanted to like it, but I couldn't stand playing it. I guess I'm just not a big fan of games where the only goal is to amass a lot of points.



Red Faction: Guerrilla

Chris Davidson says: The gameplay in Red Faction: Guerrilla was solid, but I play open-world games for the side stuff, and oh boy, did they fuck up the side stuff. The collection system in that game is horrendous, with over 300 ores to collect, 250ish supply crates to smash, and some unknown number of propaganda posters to destroy, and no map or menu tracking system to let you know which ones you'd already collected. I came damn near close to smashing one game disk instead.

Also, I feel like the normal rule of thumb for racing missions in open-world games is to take the testers' average time and add about five seconds. Instead, they took the average time, subtracted 15 seconds, and then subtracted 30 seconds for the pro time. Maybe if the driving was solid and fun it would have been a different story, but it's wonky and unpredictable. This is easily the worst game I've played all year; I'm never buying a Volition game again.

Halo: Combat Evolved

Jasmine Maleficent Rea says: I've made a few wild claims about Nintendo titles, but it's easy to stomp on them these days. Halo has to be the most well-received game that I have absolutely no desire to ever finish.

The level design is unappealing, the vehicle control distasteful, and the overall plot uninteresting. I've heard every defense on the planet, but my opinion stays the same. The later installments feel like excuses for new multiplayer maps. Still, I totally understand why people love the Halo series, and will never discourage someone from playing it -- I'm simply tired of people trying to convince me of its awesomeness.

Halo 2

Chris Cosmo Ross says: It was weird, because I knew Halo 2 was good, everyone was telling me so, but the lack of physics on vehicles (one of my favorite parts of Combat Evolved's multiplayer), the unbalanced dual-wielding weapons, and the Kojima-esque main character switcheroo seriously left me wanting more. Multiplayer was fun, but it just wasn't the same. Not a terrible game by any means -- just not what I expected.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Travis McReynolds says: Here’s the thing about first-person shooters -- my heart belongs to Halo. I like playing as a space cyborg from the future. In CoD:MW2 (an acronym that’s nearly as long as the fucking title), you play as a series of regular dudes. Dudes that must stop, plant their feet, crouch, and look down the sights of their guns in order to make an accurate shot. I’m already that guy in real life. If I try to three-pointer a piece of trash from across the room while walking I’m about as deadly as Soap with a throwing knife.

I guess I get why people might want to play a realistic shooter, but I’d prefer to snipe people mid-way through a 20-foot vertical leap. Call me old-fashioned.

No More Heroes

Andrew Hiscock says: All in all, No More Heroes was fairly well-received, but every single bit of content in the game insulted me. Whether it was the bad dialog, the campy violence, or the otaku leanings, everything was in complete contravention to my tastes. Suda 51 may be the anti-Andrew Hiscock. And the worst part? The game flaunts its terrible design choices as if they were all friggin' awesome. I didn't find a single redeeming piece of content in the whole game.

 
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Comments (26)
Twitpic
January 19, 2010
We sure are a diverse bunch. Everyone's reasons were really great, great job guys! I loved this, Andrew. We really have to do more of these.
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January 19, 2010
I completely forgot about this!
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January 19, 2010
I was almost going to have one of these moments with Gran Turismo, but it just ended with me hating it more.
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January 19, 2010
I missed this somehow, but I probably could have written at great length about The Chronicles of Riddick. I'll just say the game felt like a " you had to be there thing," meaning 2009 was way too late for me to try that game.
Jason_wilson
January 19, 2010
Thank you for this. I'm glad people share my hatred of Twilight Princes, Modern Warfare, Warrior Within, and Metroid Prime.
Jason_wilson
January 19, 2010
Oh, I'm very surprised that someone didn't have Mario, Madden, Psychonauts, or Half-Life on this list.
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January 19, 2010
Add me to the Can't Get Into GTA Club. I can recognize what people like about it, but I've never been able to reconcile the urban setting (which really doesn't interest me) and supposedly serious storyline with the nonsensical tasks you're asked to accomplish throughout the games.
Waahhninja
January 19, 2010
@Brian Was Warrior Within a well-loved title?! I had no idea. Everything I read about it was dismal. @Ultan You're problem there, m'boy, was that WaW was made by Treyarch while MW1 was Infinity Ward's baby. Nobody I know likes Trey-arse (as we now call them, in our holier-than-thou Gamer Elitist Mode) and for good reason. Their hearts are in the right place but they make shitty AI and terrible mechanics. I liked this list. I'll never fight someone if they didn't enjoy something I loved but if it feels like they didn't give it a fair shake and are only bashing it to sound cool and against-the-mainstream than I'll argue all day. Good job guys, and good reasons!
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January 19, 2010
Haha, I really like this article. Quick little snippets of people's thoughts on popular video games they didn't terribly enjoy. I hope this becomes a regular feature.
Franksmall
January 19, 2010
I am so over the mass hysteria for Shadow if the Colossus. It is Zelda with larger scale boss fights. The world, art style and control are great but having nothing but boss fights makes the game feel half made, and made up languages strike me as amazingly pretentious. I also think people are way too willing to read a million things into the less is more design to try to give the game credit for a depth that simply isn't there. It is an interesting title for sure, but isn't the amazing title people claim it is... Same goes for Ico and Okami. Of course that's just my opinion, and there are much worse games to get a nerd boner over... Like Modern Warfare 2 or Uncharted 2! Ha!
Bitmob_photo
January 19, 2010
Hey Jay, I hate Geometry Wars and all games like it for the exact same reason. I can't stand anything where the only goal is a high score. I think it's because I started with the NES and missed the atari and arcade generation, where that's what most of the games were.
Redeye
January 19, 2010
Someone did an initiative for people to write about games that everyone else liked but they hated and noone told me? Thats like....all I do. *tears up and goes to sulk in a corner.*
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January 19, 2010
I'm surprised that FFXII and Kingdom Hearts weren't on the list.
Demian_-_bitmobbio
January 19, 2010
Sounds like we need a part 2.
Img_20110311_100250
January 19, 2010
It is about time for this! I'm happy to see it. Second, now that this is up I'll have the second one ready for editing by the staff in the next day or two. If anyone wants to get in on the next one email me JeffGrubb [at] gmail [dot] com. @Jason I'd wonder about the gamer that would put Mario as their game.
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January 19, 2010
i'm not going to disagree with the halo 2 criticism (even though it holds a dear place in my heart), but why bash the physics? i've always held halo 2 as the pinnacle of physics in last gen console games (that's a lot of qualifiers). the warthog is still one of the best vehicles in any game ever solely because of the way it bumped and slid around the terrain--and how it flipped around due to a well place grenade
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January 19, 2010
i also hate MW2 for the same reasons hipsters hate all the bands i listen to or have ever heard of
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January 19, 2010
@Alex, I had the same experience with Patapon. I wanted to like it, but I think I got stuck on the exact same level, and I didn't like all the backtracking and grinding. @Ultan: What'd you think of Modern Warfare 2? @Jeff: For a long time, I didn't see what the big deal was with Mega Man either, but I grew to like it once I sat down with Mega Man 9 for a few hours. I guess I'm a late bloomer. Anyway, this is an awesome article. Well done, everyone!
Image2496
January 19, 2010
Very funny article, there should be more of this. I'd put a more controversial choice like Uncharted: Drake's Fortune there. Everything about it wasn't as good as it could've been.
Andrewh
January 19, 2010
This Mob Rule business is up for grabs. We'll keep it very DIY punk rock. If you have an idea for a question, just go ahead and do it! That's what Jeff did, and I encourage everyone to give it a shot (but not all at the same time). Come up with a topic and rally the troops either via Bitmob, Twitter, etc. We used Google Wave for this, but not many people are using it this days... I'd love to have an excuse to go back to it! If no one else takes up the banner I'll come back to this in a couple weeks, no doubt.
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January 19, 2010
Scribblenauts - The idea is great but the play controls are atrocious. I really tried to keep playing but the frustration got to me in the end. GTA - I gave up on this series while playing San Andreas. It got boring and repetitive. If you are going to make giant map then please make sure to actually have a lot to do in it. I felt like I was driving around a movie set during the whole game.
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January 19, 2010
Man, I wish I knew about this project, I could have jumped on this one easily! Shadow of the Colossus was like that for me, too. I don't know if it was because I played a demo after hearing all the hype, but I felt no connection with that game/style/control/etc. The one that tops it for me, though, is Half-Life 2. I'm about halfway thru it and I honestly don't get what the big deal about this game is, and I get even more confused seeing it ranked as one of the best games of the past decade. Maybe I'm just really late to the party? Maybe I'm playing it on the PS3 while Valve has an unapologetic hatred for Sony? All I know is that something about it makes me not even care if I ever play it again.
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January 19, 2010
Love this colaberation between great minds.
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January 19, 2010
I'm right there with you on Metroid Prime, Daniel. I couldn't stand the fact that I needed to scan almost every single little thing. And this is coming from someone who has loved collectionfests like Banjo-Kazooie and Assassin's Creed. Of course the way you ended your blurb makes it sound like you gave it a second chance and like it now. But yeah, Metroid Prime can suck it.
Mini
January 20, 2010
@Alex and @Brian: I know exactly what level you're talking about, and this was the only point in the first Patapon where I got stuck too. The only way to execute the rain song is to keep your Patapon in Fever mode, breaking the combo means you have to get back to fever again. Really interesting article by the way, looking for negatives to contrast the praise that has been given to these classics.
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January 20, 2010
I'm with Jasmine on the Halo games. I burnt myself out on the first game. It's a solid game, but I just can't get into it for too long anymore.

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