I think every conflict in Middle-earth can be boiled down to two sides trying to out-epic each other in grandiosity, power, and theme song.

Video Blips:

• An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into a bar in The Lord of the Rings: War in the North and proceed to start an orc smackdown. OK, there's no bars in the game, but they still go Popeye on any evil they encounter.

Continue after the break for a creature from Darkspore named after our closest celestial neighbor, the upgraded look and attitude of Bionic Commando: Rearmed 2, and Bit.Trip Flux's homage to all things retro.

• Meet Darkspore's Andromeda, a gravity specialist that looks like a Sea-Monkey crossed with Sailor Moon. At least she doesn't kill enemies with the power of love. That would be a little too much.

• Bionic Commando: Rearmed 2 gives Nathan "Rad" Spencer some new upgrades, including a slick powerstache. That enabling strip of facial hair allows Spencer to moonlight as a firefighter, apprentice firefighter, or a firefighter stripper if he so chooses.

• Commander Video's final journey comes back to the roots of gaming in Bit.Trip Flux. If the jovial music doesn't elicit some emotion, you've probably resigned from the human race.