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Editor's note: Think video games are a big waste of time? If so, check out Brian's humorous list of other things many people do that are far more boring and pointless. -James

As gamers, we share a sense of identity. We're all lazy man-children (or tomboys) who sit around in our underwear chugging six-packs of Mountain Dew, so that we can stay awake to beat the game. Besides being lazy, we're all unintelligent, repulsive bastards who burn books in bonfires. And who knows, we may even eat babies.

All jokes aside, any of us with an ounce of intelligence realizes that most stereotypes about video games and gamers aren't true. I mean, we all know that they don't really rot our brains, right? They may occasionally distract us from more valuable pursuits, but they don't dumb us down or turn us in to mass murderers.

Since we're now all aware that video games aren't a waste of time, I'm going to provide you with a list of handy alternatives that'll make your days go by faster than an Olympic skier on a training run. If you're looking for activities that'll truly insult your intelligence, I encourage you to keep reading.

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A few weeks ago, I welcomed a well-loved Game Gear into my collection. This officially completes my set of the main Sega consoles, but the quest for games has only just begun. The only problem is that not much of the system's library really holds up in 2010.

Like this curious selection here [via The Retroist]:

Hmm, no.... These titles don't fill me with confidence. I'm really only after the Shining Force game, but tracking that down is even more difficult than finding a Game Gear with a working speaker -- which I wasn't able to do....

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It's always good to have a friend. Can you match these video-game characters to their loyal companions?

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Somebody take their big PlayStation 3 back in time to a little over 10 years ago and see it's Y2K compliant.

News Blips:

Due to an internal clock bug in non-slim PS3s, many users are unable to sign onto the PlayStation Network or play any games -- even single-player ones -- and some have even lost their trophies. Sony has a list of the various error messages that have popped up and estimates they’ll have things figured out “within the next 24 hours.” In the meantime, the company recommends that non-slim PS3 owners don’t turn on their consoles until the issue is resolved. Follow the PlayStation Blog for updates. I wonder what the error was -- did some developer program 2010 to be a leap year when it wasn’t?

Activision puts a halt to a fan-made sequel to King's Quest. The affected independent development team originally made a deal with Vivendi Universal back in 2005, allowing them to create The Silver Lining as part of a non-commercial fan license. Now Activision, who picked up the rights to the King's Quest license when it merged with Vivendi back in December of 2007, has decided to shut down the operation. Let us have a moment of silence for this (one-of-many) fan projects taken out by the man. [Joystiq]

Game Politics reports on two research groups' conflicting findings on the effect of violent video games on youth. Analyzing 130 existing research reports on the subject, Iowa State University's Craig Anderson and his team concluded that "violent video game effects are significant in both Eastern and Western cultures, in males and females, and in all age groups." Anderson feels that these findings are "definitive." Researchers Christopher Ferguson and John Kilburn of Texas A&M International University, however, released a paper that challenges Anderson's findings by identifying holes in the studies used and claiming a lack of real-world evidence (i.e., more violent video games today but low crime rates among youth). Video games don't make me violent -- researchers that say they do make me violent!

Ubisoft is giving away free copies of the Assassin's Creed 2: Multiplayer iPhone app for the first 48 hours of its release. Afterward (aka Wednesday), the price jumps up to $2.99. Be warned: If you don't like the game, you won't really be able to get your money back. [AppAdvice]

Got any hot news tips? Send 'em over to tips@bitmob.com.

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Comedians Sheila Bryson and Dave Karraker join Bitmob's Dan Hsu and Demian Linn on the latest and greatest episode of the Mobcast.

The group discusses each person's first professional experience in the gaming industry, Nintendo's recent press event, interesting console launches, personal metrics of nerd cred, and which game hunks Sheila finds attractive.

Have a question you want answered? Want to share some important insight with the world? E-mail the crew at letters@bitmob.com.

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If Kratos's weapons are all available at the same time, that means he must store them somewhere on his half-naked body. But where?

Video Blips:

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Editor’s note: When I was younger, "children's games" never earned a spot in my collection simply because they were usually poorly executed. I suspect those experiences have carried over with journalists reviewing games today. And I fear that I won't have the same patience as Matthew to sit through Bakugan with my own son when he's older. I can only hope to instill a decent sense of taste.... -Rob

When I read reviews that are meant for a younger mindset, I cringe. No matter how many times the reviewer says that he’s doing so with respect to the game’s audience, you can tell that just isn’t true. I don’t know whether it’s because reviewers can’t think like a 9-year-old or that they’re just afraid of losing their “hardcore” cred in whatever culture they wrap themselves, but they miss the point every time.

Want to know how to review a game with adorable woodland creatures sporting googly eyes or whatever flavor-of-the-week cartoon character happens to be the current fad? You play the game with a kid.

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You get this spuriously legal product called the iGame [via DealExtreme]:

For around $90, you could have a device that supports a host of files you don't use and handles them 10 times worse than a computer/phone/modded-handheld. What truly sets the iGame apart from most bootleg contraptions is the impressive 4GB of storage and A/V out ports.

The camera is a confusing addition as the unit claims it is 2.0 megapixels, but the spec descriptions on the order page say it should actually read 3.0. I think both these estimates are far too generous.

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This week on Hit or Miss: Nintendo announces some release dates or something (is that a big deal?); Doritos tries to convince us that lending their brand to a "Pro-Gamer Combine" can make the idea of a "Pro-Gamer Combine" not-absurd; Tecmo tries to convince us any pornographic undertones in Dead or Alive: Paradise were totally "unintentional" (large, obvious wink); and Electronic Arts suggests the new Medal of Honor may -- gasp! -- actually be a thoughtful and empathetic examination of real-life combat in a big-budget shooter.

Where the hell do they get off, right?

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Look alive, private! The week's over and we're buggin' out. You know what that means? That's right -- the Bitmob Reviews Spotlight!

Kevin Zhang-Xing steps front and center like a good soldier with his review of Aliens vs. Predator 2. What's the game like? FUBAR! The online servers are offline, the graphics are old, and the game's no longer scary. But how's the nostalgia factor? Scroll down to find out, son.

Thomas Johnson chimes in with another celebrated rivalry. But instead of predatory aliens battling it out, it's Plants vs. Zombies!

Have you ever been bullied in the past? I bet you have, you nerd! Well, now's your chance to get back at the high school jocks who tortured you, because in Bully, you play as one. Richard Moss fills us in.

According to Alex Martin, Kana: Little Sister will blow you mind. Short of being trippy, the Japanese visual novel follows a young girl who is hospitalized for renal failure. Sounds weird, doesn't it?

Lastly, Ben Maltz-Jones shares his opinions on Comet Crash, a downloadable game available on the PlayStation Network.

So square yourselves, gear up, and get to the choppa -- you're now entering the Spotlight!

Aliens vs. Predator 2 - 9 Years Later
By Kevin Zhang-Xing
Almost a decade has passed since most of us last occupied the blood-soaked boots of Corporal Harrison. Without a functional multiplayer component or the same graphical awe, how does Aliens vs. Predator 2 fare after so many years?

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It's pretty obvious that the cameras on the Nintendo DSi are going to be used for any number of kids games. Take pictures of you and your friends, put those pics on drawings you've made or in an already-released game -- the easy uses for the new camera on our favorite Nintendo portable game system are probably nothing to get too excited about. That is, until you see what Japan is getting in the form of downloadable content next week [via Boing Boing]:

Hidden 3D Image: There It Is! is simple-looking kids game but the head-tracking it uses is truly a sight to behold. Even arcades and current-gen home systems have yet to really utilize this quasi-3D effect (not counting what this guy has done). The implications for pornography alone is staggering. Just saying...

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Let's hope this General Knoxx thing turns out better than Mad Moxxi....

Video Blips:

• Those Geabox guys sure know how to make a trailer. I have no idea what that narrator lady was even talking about in this Borderlands: The Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC teaser, but I am in. [GameVideos]

Continue after the break for an iPhone-ified Street Fighter 4, a Metal Gear: Arcade trailer, a peak at some of the more cunning moves in Red Steel 2, and a preview of the new Army of Two: The 40th Day DLC.

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