The sidekick is nature's greatest punch absorbent. Are you getting hit far too often while fighting crime? The only remedy is to bring along a teenager who is weaker and slower than you. That way, the henchmen will just wail on him while you're free to "regroup" -- which totally isn't a code word for "stay home and watch Sister Wives."

So this is Bitmob's Quality Assurance, an insightful look into the deepest, darkest crevices of a video-game character's soul. We're not very good at it, so usually all we find are cheap genital jokes and allusions to sexuality. For example, did you know that Kirby is actually just one big butt cheek? And he has a weird thing for the wives of Democratic vice presidents...look out Tipper Gore.

Alright, that's enough. To the Photoshop!

See other QAs here.