Fighting games seem to be the bane of my existence. As much as I enjoy them for their simplicity and for requiring very little to just sit down and play I can’t see myself ever getting to the point that I can truly enjoy them. Games like Marvel Versus Capcom, Street Fighter IV, Tekken 6; I’ll never pull anything from them short of lessons in humility when it comes to playing this genre. What else would you expect? I suck at video games.
It isn’t even just the multiplayer aspect: the single player is one constant train of expletives and chipped plastic pieces as the same boss character pummels me into submission time and again. I understand the need to make games progressively harder but when I can’t beat Seth (the final boss in Street Fighter IV) on easy after getting five perfects in a row something need to be done as far as the “balancing” goes.
The problem with many of these games is that it is optional to learn how to play the game. This is both their appeal and their albatross: they are easy to pick up and play whether you are ten years old and just getting into the genre or a seasoned veteran. While mastering them may take years anyone can step inside the arcade, insert a few tokens, and begin hitting the buttons and joystick as if they are having an epileptic seizure and still manage to win.
As far as playing at friend’s houses and at my own home it is forbidden. Not for the cursing and yelling that occurs but because playing fighting games then becomes an expensive outing: when I lose I become much like the Hulk and begin smashing controllers. While I do seem to enjoy this environment more (maybe because I would feel more remorse over murdering friends in cold blood) it is still frustrating to lose time and again because my controller doesn’t recognize the movements I make with my hands.
You see, I don’t break controllers because I’m a sore loser or I feel like I should have won but because consoles these days (or at least their peripherals) don’t seem to be made for fighting games. The Xbox and the Playstation’s controllers might as well be made of silly putty for how well they seem to be able to perform the seemingly insane amount of precision required to pull off certain combinations in these games.
This is where my rage hits its crescendo for fighting games: I refuse to spend $150 in order to play them in what seems to be the only “correct” way. Limited edition fight pads, arcade sticks, and their ilk almost seem like a requirement (and most of the time not even very effective ones) in order to get the most out of the games they are made for these days. This seems to be along the same lines as buying gold for your favorite Massive RPG game. Why is that considered a faux pas whereas buying an overpriced arcade stick that ups your accuracy with your joystick isn’t? Isn’t it all the same thing?
Fighting games all seem to boil down to two things: time and money. This genre does not cater in the least to the casual crowd of gamers and instead focuses almost completely on those deemed “hardcore” gamers who are able to spend insane amounts of time and who are willing to spend insane amounts of money in order to get better at them.
These games fall even further below online shooters for me: they have no redeeming qualities about them for those who are like me except to give those who have some natural talent (or who are better at faking seizures) more ammo with which to insult the little bit of hand-eye coordination I do have.
Part three, the final part of this series, will be focusing on the penultimate genre of humility for most casual gamers: MMORPG’s (ni hao to all the gold farmers reading!). Also, a wrap up of the series, the agenda of why it’s been going on in the first place, and punch and pie*!
*Punch and pie subject to availability. Limited quantities are available and should not be expected upon reading. Mark Whitney, the writer of this article, takes no responsibility if you get neither punch nor pie and, while apologizing profusely, can really do nothing about it. “Punch” and “Pie” are trademarks of - "why are you still reading this? Don’t your eyes hurt yet?"
