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If Video Games were Alcohol

2_fobs_n_a_goon__2_
Sunday, September 12, 2010

Nerd have video games, frat boys have reversed baseball caps and alcohol. It's time for both worlds to come together! Let's see what each game's equivalent in alcohol is

 

Bioshock: Kamikaze 

A special blend of several flavors that appeals to any of the fans of the original three flavors. It just takes a while for people to get used to the intensity and those with weak stomachs will dismiss it as a hodgepodge of nonsense

Modern Warfare 2: Bud Light

 

C'mon, EVERYONE's drinking it! The nerds who want to pretend they're cool, the jocks who are actually cool, the social recluse who mistakes it for apple juice. It's the universal party starter! And whether it's sleeping with your friend's sister or missing an entire day's worth of classes, it leads to bad decisions. And it's ALWAYS the sure sign of a good time.

Bayonetta: Corona

Yes, it's a quality product. Yes, you won't regret trying. And yes, the fact that it uses scantily clad women as its primary form of marketing is kind of sleazy.

Madworld: Bloody Mary

Does this one REALLY need explaining?

Halo: Mike's Hard Lemonade

 

It's a quality drink that somehow gets dismissed less hardcore due to its colorful graphics and lack of grit. While being seen with it can sometimes lead to scathing remarks from the female success, thicker skinned patrons will enjoy the depth beyond the space muppet colors.

Ico: Guinness

 

It's Dark. It's Deep. It's sophisticated. Some people will take it in and say that it's an example of something that ascends beyond a stain on a frat house carpet. Others will take a sip, spit it out, and say it's a pretentious piece of shit.

Little Big Planet: Sparkling Water

 

No thanks guys! I think I'll play it safe, because alcohol is bad for you and if I drink it my mom will know and ground me. No seriously guys, it's fine! I mean, I'm having fun! Look at all these fancy colors on the glass! I'm so cool!

 
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Comments (4)
Sunglasses_at_night
September 13, 2010

Fosters: Modern Warfare

 

It's the everyday drink that you'd never save for a special occasion. 

 

Great article, and a genuinely unique idea. Congrats. 

Jayhenningsen
September 13, 2010

I've never had a blue Kamikaze shot. All of mine were always vodka, Triple Sec, and lime juice.

I also vehemently disagree with the characterization that Corona is a quality product that people won't regret trying. The reason so many people drink it with lime is that it's almost undrinkably bitter without it. You're not making a good case for Bayonetta, in my opinion.

2_fobs_n_a_goon__2_
September 13, 2010

@Jay - My bad, I based this off the fact that my entire neighborhood drank Corona straight at our last block party and all my friends in college drink it straight.

Headshot
September 13, 2010

Hey, watch what you say. Guiness isn't pretentious -- it's the nectar of the gods :p

I like this idea. I would like to see  more of these types of comparisons.

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