It's mind-boggling that video-game movies continue to be consistently terrible. Surely, after more than two decades of attempts, someone should've made something we could comfortably label as good. Alas, this is not the case. Instead of feeling bitter about the medium's inability to translate to the big screen, I choose to celebrate this often-ridiculed sector of our culture by featuring the trailers of these wonderful pieces of cinematic excrement in a series I'm calling "It Was a Movie." I figure that once we finally face our shame(s), we can move on. As people.
And why not start at the beginning? I remember seeing the Super Mario Bros. movie when it came out, but I was too young to know what I was getting into. I guess Mario was in it, so the film had that going for it, although they broke the hearts of chubby nerds everywhere when the movie replaced Mario with Luigi as the princess's romantic interest. Funny how the movie takes Luigi far more seriously than the games do.
Anyways, no matter how you look at it, it's a terrible movie. If you're going to fail, you might as well do it spectacularly. The movie looks like it probably cost more than Nintendo's research-and-development budget for the Wii. So enjoy this trailer, and forever wonder who decided that the Mushroom Kingdom needed to look like something out of Blade Runner:
