I love sex in video games. Not so much for the awkward, usually clothed, groping cut-scenes, but the delicious, euphoric, hysterical mainstream TV news stories about how games are turning children into porn-crazed deviants that inevitably follow.

The Dragon Age: Origins news story is going to be awesome. Never mind that the game doesn't get much more explicit than two people in bikinis, hugging it out (and that's only after you've played for dozens of hours) -- you can go to a brothel! Have a male homosexual relationship with an elf! Get it on with a transsexual dwarf! The dwarf's on the burqa end of the clothed spectrum, mind you, and does nothing more than stand in the general vicinity of a bed -- but you know Fox News is going take off running with that.

Aside from the mild titillation, though, sex does play a sometimes-interesting role in Dragon Age's narrative. It figures into the plot in a significant way that I won't spoil, and as you progress through the game you'll learn more about other members in your party via their particular attitudes towards sex.

(Warning: I will reveal some mild quasi-spoilers about your party members and potential character relationships in the follow paragraphs, but no plot spoilers.)

What you learn about the characters, however, isn't so interesting -- all of your romantic prospects adhere to parochial stereotypes. Both females seem wildly different at first, but are ultimately only interested in monogamous relationships, while the gay male character prefers a no-strings-attached open relationship.

(This is playing through as a male character; I'm not sure how the dynamics change if you pick a female hero, and BioWare hasn't gotten back to me on that yet, either.)

It's around about hour 60 that things start heating up back at the camp. My dude has been working the angles on the devote Leliana, bad girl Morrigan, and Zevran, a male elf. Through the magic of game saves, I realize that I have reached a point of no return with these ladies -- I am going to have to pick one or the other.

When I speak with Leliana, the religious 'nice girl' who also happens to pickpocket every NPC in sight (at least when I'm at the helm), she immediately confronts me about my simmering relationship with Morrigan and delivers a pouting 'her or me' ultimatum. If I choose Leliana, then that's pretty much the end of it -- no post-argument making up, if you know what I mean.

One save reload later, Morrigan's opening gambit is quite different. Morrigan's character might be evil, the details are kind of nebulous, and we'd been flirting and occasionally kissing for about, well sheesh, like the last 40 virtual blue ballin' hours of gameplay. But now it's Barry White time.

After roughly 10 seconds worth of groping cut-scenes, it's back to full-dressed post-coital conversation. Morrigan makes it clear that she's a lone wolf, doesn't want to be tied down.

"Simply know that I have no designs on your independence. I wish only to do what I desire, and if that coincides with what you desire...then so be it," she says. So that's it, she's a sexual libertarian and won't care if I'm a total man-slut, right?

Nope. So the dialogue ends and I'm back to running around camp. I talk to Morrigan again, right away, and it seems that in the intervening seconds, much has changed: "I notice that you are spending a great deal of time with that girl. The bard," she hisses, meaning Leliana. And then, despite the whole independence speech moments before, she also demands a 'her or me' decision. But that's not all -- then she offers me a magic ring, which she can use to track my location at all times!

Reload save, talk to Zevran. I have a gift for him, some leather boots from his homeland that I found somewhere, and I guess he realllllllly likes them, because (depending on your dialogue choices, naturally) it is so on.

Bam. Afterwards, he makes it quite clear that he doesn't expect me to put a ring on it. He's a himbo, and to be fair, that does square with his backstory -- born in a brothel, raised as an assassin, recounts a tale about sleeping with a female assassination target before carrying out his job, etc.

I walk over to Leliana -- she's about 10 feet away during this whole thing -- and she immediately starts with the standard 'Morrigan or me' chat. I reload the save, tell Leliana she's my gal first, then jump in the tent with Zevran, but Leliana doesn't seem to mind at all.

Fast forward about 20 more hours. I decided to stick with Leliana, even though the dialogue option to consummate the relationship with some sweet, bikini-clad shoulder rubbing never shows up (I think I must have missed something, somewhere -- some gift I needed to find to turn the corner), although I've kept Zevran going on the side. Back at camp, I chat (and more) with Zevran again, and this time, finally, Leliana gets pissed and rolls out the 'him or me' talk. I say I'm sorry, and we live happily, frustratedly ever after.

So what's the point of all this? Good question. Sex is a very difficult game design challenge, no surprise there, and Dragon Age does it right when it incorporates sex directly into the narrative (the aforementioned spoiler I don't want to reveal). But the casual sex, which could be used as a tool to deepen your understanding and empathy for the other characters, tends to reinforce the idea of women as alternately jealous, catty, smothering, and weak-willed (easily taking back a lover that has strayed), while perpetuating the stereotype of the promiscuous gay/bisexual man. I guess what I'm saying is...the sex could be better.

It's quite possible that your experience with Dragon Age could be significantly different, depending on the choices you make, so I'll be curious to hear if the game is more nuanced in that respect than it seems.