I had originally intended to write about my experiences at PAX East as soon as I got home. PAX was my very first gaming convention, and the Bitmob staff kindly set me up with a media pass, meaning I got to see games and meet members of the gaming industry I wouldn't otherwise have been exposed to. I absolutely made the most of that opportunity. I'm extremely grateful for it, and I could easily go on and on about the details of my trip.
Then I realized that the most important opportunity Bitmob had given me had nothing to do with media passes or preview coverage. It's something infinitely more precious, something that, to be honest, is a little hard to put down on virtual paper.
A little over a year ago, I lost my job. Since then, with the economy in shambles, I’ve been unable to find work, relegated to spending many days at home by myself. While having an extended vacation may not seem like a bad thing for a lot of people, the harsh reality is that not having a job that forced me to get up and be around people every day reduced my social interaction more than I could have imagined.
You see, for years I've been fighting with social anxiety. This isn't something most people know about me. I usually walk with my head down so as not to make eye contact with people. I’ve even gone as far as to take the long way around to a destination if the direct route offered the slimmest possibility of running into someone. Without a job, I lost any obligation to see people on a daily basis. Now I often choose to not leave my apartment.
However, as cheesy as this may sound, there has always been one topic that I'm able to discuss with anyone at any time. Video games have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and something about them just makes me forget about my anxieties. So when, a little more than a month after I lost my job, Dan Hsu announced that he was creating a new gaming website focused on interaction between the community and the press, I knew it was something I wanted to be involved with in any way possible.
I started the Pixel Revolt podcast on the suggestion of Trevor Hinkle because I loved podcasts and felt it'd be a good way to interact with community members. I even put my anxiety aside and flew all the way to San Francisco in order to help plan and attend the very first Bitmob community meet-up.
When PAX East was announced last year, I knew that it would be another great opportunity to meet the people I had gotten to know virtually since the launch of the site. I immediately began organizing another meet-up.
But as the list of attendees started to grow, I found myself getting nervous. I hadn't expected a group this large, and it'd be filled with core community members who had been around since Bitmob launched. I began to understand what Davneet Minhas felt like when he wrote about attending his virtual buddy's real-life wedding. Truth is, I thought several times about canceling my trip to PAX East.
But I didn’t. I knew my anxiety was something that I had to get over because I may not get another opportunity like the one presented by PAX East.
As soon as I arrived at the expo, I knew I had made the correct decision. That night, the Bitmob meet-up was a bigger success than I ever could have imagined. Everyone got along, and I had an fantastic time drinking and talking with the people who make up this fine community of gamers.
The good times continued well past the meet-up. They culminated the last night of the show with a dinner conversation so deep and rich that I can’t imagine ever having thought about missing it. I had been conversing with some of these people online for close to four years. I'm proud to call them my friends.
If asked to sum up my PAX East weekend, it would be with this quick anecdote: When I went to do laundry at my parents' house the other day, my mother asked my why I was smiling.
The answer is this: Even though PAX has been over for a week, I can't shake the memories. And I don't ever want to.
Note: I’ve purposely left all names out of this article because I feel like missing even one person would be a crime. I love you all, and thank you for being the people that you are.
