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The Wackiest Soccer Games Ever Released

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Monday, November 29, 2010
EDITOR'S NOTEfrom Brett Bates

I've never been a soccer fan, but the bizarre games Louis lists here have piqued my interest -- especially Sega Soccer Slam.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time playing the new Pro Evolution Soccer 11 and FIFA 11 games this past month. Pro Evo is my favorite of the two -- I find myself on the pitch of Pro Evo late into the night for the first time since the series' heyday on PlayStation 2.

All that soccer on the brain has me thinking about past footy titles I absolutely love -- especially the wackier ones. Here’s my list -- in no particular order -- of the best offbeat soccer titles. They all seem to feature three things: power-ups, fighting, and…role-playing stats.

So dive in -- studs down, please.


Sega Soccer Slam (PS2, Xbox, GameCube)

Best Mexican national team ever.

Sega Soccer Slam is hands-down the best soccer game ever made. This three-on-three title features zany cartoon characters that play to their team’s nationality in a hilarious, almost insulting way.

Equipment can be bought to boost the skills of your players as you embark on your campaign to beat every team. This part of the game is similar to any sports title, really. The thing that sets it apart as one of only two titles I found myself playing before high school at 5 a.m. is the sheer fun of playing with two buddies -- and the fact that you can punch people.

 

Teaming up as Mexico's El Fuego, I took on the role as the goal scorer, and my friends became enforcers. They’d have the computer stuck in corners getting beat silly. This gave us time to figure out that I could actually score by running up to the keeper, jumping, and getting punched, which kept the keeper occupied while the ball slowly rolled into the net.

Awesome.

We not only broke our adversaries with punches, we broke that game and figured out every little thing it had to offer -- like stat tracking. Much like Super Smash Bros., players can enter a name in order to track stats. Seeing how many shots and goals I could accrue was a blast, but they paled in comparison to the absurd numbers my friends were putting up in the hits category.

This stat boosting -- which led to bragging among my friends -- became a game in itself.

I’d love to see a sequel to this on a current system. Anyone interested in the title that doesn't own a last-generation console can find it for download on the Xbox 360.


Soccer Superstars (iPhone)

It makes sense that combining my number-one passion (soccer) with my favorite video-game genre (role playing) would result in too many lost hours. And that’s exactly what the simply titled Soccer Superstars did to my time.

Players can create a character to lead to national team glory. On the way to stardom, they can train using different activities to level up stats and even equip a bike helmet or baseball cap for minor boosts. They can also learn a handful of wacky power shots their character can unleash on poor goalies.

The best part is it's an iPhone title. I've never had so much fun covering city council meetings for the newspaper before! Just don't tell my boss that....


Super Mario Strikers (GameCube) and Mario Strikers Charged (Wii)

Super Mario Strikers is a five-a-side soccer game featuring crazy power-ups similar to what’s in Super Mario Kart. Players grow to gigantic proportions, shells wreak havoc on your striker’s ankles, and team captains perform Super Strikes to score two goals instead of one. It isn’t as fun as Sega Soccer Slam, but it sure was able to induce many sleepless nights.

The waggle-infused Wii sequel is also a nifty title, featuring much of the same with slight improvements and chaotic environmental hazards. Shaking Wii Remotes to tackle players is a great way to keep the energy high when playing close matches against the cheap AI.

Mario is about to find out that it is totally on like Donkey Kong.


Red Card 2003 (PS2, Xbox, GameCube)

This is one of the few games to get me to stand up while playing that doesn’t involve waggle or motion controls.

The reason? A heated match between bitter rivals Mexico and U.S.A., tied two to two with penalties looming. My adversary took possession and charged up field. I ran him down, ready to dispossess him…with a flying two-footed kick to the chest.

And Arsene Wenger complains of dirty play in the English Premier League....

Anyone familiar with Midway sports titles in the early 2000s will remember high-flying antics and players that seem to spontaneous combust into a raging flame only to become a better pitcher, striker, or tackler.

Oh, how I miss Midway and its zaniness.


Lego Soccer Mania (PS2, PC)

Way before the "Lego-ization" of franchises Harry Potter and Star Wars came this sweet little gem of a title. I remember picking it up at a now-defunct electronics store in a small town about two hours away from home and bristling with excitement during the long drive back to my PlayStation 2.

That excitement was well founded: The game is actually really good.

Players can create teams from different popular Lego themes like pirates and Martians; each has their own skill ratings to make them unique. Power-ups like missile shots litter the pitch, and there’s even a plot where you chase the evil Brickster to a volcano and then to space for the ultimate soccer showdown.

It’s aimed at a younger audience, but it’s still engaging enough to play through to the end of the story and challenge a friend to a few matches.


World Tour Soccer 2003 (PS2)

World Tour Soccer has a dive button.

I first found this out on accident when I had a defender in the box. My friend was running up the sideline when all of a sudden the center official blew his whistle.

What?

And there it was in the replay. My poor defender diving in the box for no reason other than I accidentally hit the wrong button. I was carded and scored on in the subsequent penalty. Swearing ensued.

Diving. Ruining not only the real game but also the virtual game as well.

After that initial frustration, I used the dive button to my advantage to earn penalty kicks and easy-to-score direct kicks. What started as a good, fairly played soccer game turned into a test of who could dive the best to earn an advantage -- a shameless maneuver that players of even Christiano Ronaldo’s skill employ on a weekly basis.

Italian soccer players everywhere -- especially those involved in the 2006 World Cup -- rejoiced at the addition of a dive button. I’m sure Fabio Grosso has this game in his trophy case.


Well, there's my list of favorite wacky soccer titles. Fellow Bitmobbers, do you have a game of footy you absolutely love? If so, tell me about it in the comments!

 
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Comments (13)
Assassin_shot_edited_small_cropped
November 24, 2010

As an Australian, I'm still bitter about the Grosso dive in the 2006 World Cup.

I remember one of the Game Boy soccer games -- I think it was for the 1990 World Cup -- let you barge opponents off the ball. I had so much fun knocking the opposing players halfway across the screen. And if you hit a really good shot, the ball would knock down all the players. The animations for these things were (by necessity) simple, but remarkably expressive and always entertaining.

Alexemmy
November 24, 2010

No Mega Man Soccer? My friend and I used to play that a lot, despite how awful it is.

Chas_profile
November 24, 2010

I loved Mario Strikers Charged. I once had the highest online rank and took a picture of it with my phone. Of course, the ranks were refreshed once or twice a week and it was the middle of the night....

Default_picture
November 26, 2010

I've actually only played Mega Man Soccer once and it was on a PC emulator. I thought about adding Tiny Toon Adventures: ACME All Stars to the list. That game is not only awesome, but has some crazy soccer antics in it. I didn't include it because the game deserves a whole lot more love than just a little blurb on a list.

Mikeshadesbitmob0611
November 29, 2010

MEGA MAN SOCCER. Dr. Wily is the world's greatest goalie.

Mikeminotti-biopic
November 29, 2010

Man, I love arcadey soccer games. Didn't even realize it til I read this.

Avi2
November 29, 2010

Fifa has a dive button as well, or at least used to have it, so that's not THAT particular.

I'm sad to see you've missed out on a few key games, which made soccer games more entertaining for me, instead of the usual drone.
Would you mind if I made a piece as a follow up? I do not want to seem like I'm hogging your idea, so I thought to ask first. I'll try to post it on Bitmob, but it's been giving me grief for ages now..

Img_0020
November 30, 2010

Captain Tsubasa (also known as Tecmo Cup Soccer Game) on the NES is a Turn-Based Soccer RPG with Random Battles inside the field. Yeah now that was a wacky game.

230340423
November 30, 2010

I'm with you on Soccer Superstars on iOS, Louis. My iPod has lost many a charge to that beguiling mistress.

Default_picture
November 30, 2010

@Daav. I had no idea FIFA had a dive button. What iteration had it? Might have been before I picked up the series.

Also, feel free to do your own piece. I'm sure there are some soccer titles I haven't played that would fit nicely on this list, and some games I just decided to drop for the sake of length and putting them in another piece (ACME All Stars).

@Badr. Captain Tsubasa sounds awesome! We need an updated version for digital download, preferably on 360.

@Layton. That game will hook you, and hook you good.

Avi2
December 02, 2010

FIFA World Cup 98 I'm certain I owned, but also 99 I think. Back then the shoulder buttons made you pull off a number of highly unnecessary moves.

 

And thank you, I'll try.

Stoylogosmall
December 02, 2010

Yeah, Mega Man Soccer was my fav. 

Does anyone remember FIFA International Soccer for the Genesis and SNES? it was the first official FIFA to come out, and there was a trick in the game that if you were going to be issued a yellow or red card, you could run away from the ref and make him chase you ALL OVER THE FIELD. My brother and I would do that for minutes at a time, laughing hysterically as the ref would chase us around. 

Hyuk, it's still funny to me. 

Default_picture
December 08, 2010

@Stojan: That sounds like something I may have read about before, but never played. Bring on the Youtube videos. 

Did anyone ever take out keepers in FIFA 2002? That used to rock. 

Also, it's great that Pro Evolution allows any player to be put into goal (unlike FIFA). I love throwing on a speedy striker between the goal posts when I'm dominating a friend. 

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