Before we begin, I want to get a few things out of the way. I think that Rock Band & Guitar Hero have awesome POTENTIAL. I don't just mean the evolution of the games' software. When I say "potential" I am referring to each of these games' potential ability to serve as a catalyst for the evolution of gaming hardware & accessories. Guitar Hero revolutionized the Video Game Accessory business, and of course I give it credit for that.

I am aware that playing Guitar Hero isn't meant to be a substitution for the real thing. Guitar Hero & Rock Band are exactly what they say they are: Music-Simulation Video Games, that all people can play, from the tiniest little child, to the largest huskiest male or female. In regards to playability, as well as FeedFactor, both games get 2/2 in their respective categories. Guitar Hero & Rock Band introduce a variety of great music ranging from Classical Rock, to 80's Hair Metal (WINGER!), all the way to today's music of Weezer and Muse. So before I give my little rant here, I actually would like to take a moment to THANK each of these games' designers because without you guys, this wonderful addition to the world of gaming would not exist.

Now here's the rant. This is why I hate Rock Band & Guitar Hero: it's because of THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY THE GAME. When Guitar Hero first came out, it was fun and everybody played it. The players could rock out, and strike that RockStar pose they'd been practicing in front of the mirror since middle school. That's all well and good, but now that kids are being introduced to the game as adolescents, not as 20-somethings or older, they are mistaking playing Guitar Hero & Rock Band for playing REAL MUSIC. I can't tell you how many times I hear people talking about music, in general and speaking as if they know what they are talking about because of their experiences with Guitar Hero & the minimal amount of supplemental data they received from lazily checking out Wikipedia. COME ON AMERICA. You people don't play an instrument, but you think that you understand what it is like to be a musician. YOU DON'T. Until you actually sit down with a group of people, and play a real instrument, you have no motherfu-(woops) clue what you are talking about.

Get a grip. Playing Rock Band does not make you a drummer. It makes you THINK you are a drummer, and you may appear to be a drummer on a SCREEN, but that does not affect any semblance of reality.  When you stand up from your stool, and you put your "custom made for the PS3"-acrylic drumsticks down, you go back to being Joe The DBag who didn't understand anything about music in the first place. Please stop talking to me like you are familiar with musical terms, and with music in general. You can't even tell me how many instruments are playing in half of the songs that are on Rock Band and Guitar Hero. Do you think that just because the available options to play are Drums, a Microphone, and 2 Guitars, that those are the only instruments that are being heard? Haaaayyyllls no. Musicians spend HOURS and DAYS and WEEKS overdubbing layers and layers of vocal tracks, and guitar tracks, and drum tracks. Rock Band & Guitar Hero are about as realistic to music, as The Sims is to REAL LIFE. Last time I checked, The Sims was meant to parody real-life, not imitate it in the most realistic manner. Well my friends, RB & GH are the same. They are meant to create a SIMULATED experience that is very far-fetched, and not even remotely close to the same thing as performing.

Er go, Rock Band/Guitar Hero, you have forever changed the face of console gaming, and for that I commend you, and I apologize for the harsh title and tone of this rant, but what I really mean, is that I hate many, many, many of your avid fans.  Guitar Hero and Rock Band are killing the efforts of hundreds of thousands of people who spend lifetimes toiling away at their craft.  It completely loses its value when other reviewers, as well as teenagers and kids, think that it is commonplace to be able to shred like Herman Li.  It is not.  Nobody on the planet, save for maybe 100-200 people, can play guitar like that.  Just because you have figured out the right color-buttons to press doesn't make you a musician, or even remotely capable of playing music.  So?  Sit down, shut up, and actually try to play an instrument so you can see how different it is from this dumb-ass SIMULATION.

posted by Brian Biederman co-founder/editor of TheSpoonFeed Media Network