4:00pm
The timestamp might make it look as though I took a two hour break, but trust me, I was working the whole time. Pretty bad when I'd rather answer email than play a game. So, where were we again? Oh, that's right, Ned was on a skateboard, trying to make his escape from the "FBI" guys. I predict a wacky chase scene. Let's find out.

4:05pm
Yep, that went just about how I thought it would. I actually played a portion of this section during the "didn't record travesty" earlier, which is why I got through relatively easy -- I "died" a bunch on my first attempt. I was worried that the skateboarding would go on longer, so I was pretty relieved when Ned crashed into the airport shuttle to end the chapter. I wonder where we're going now!

4:15pm
The airport -- didn't see that one coming. You might think that I edited out a few minutes of plot here, but I can assure you that's not the case. To recap: Ned's entire brilliant escape plan was to dive onto the baggage conveyer belt, stow away on a plane, and tell his wife NOT to call the police; yet I'm the one that screws up when I try to bang a mediocre-looking chick in the bathroom? That's so lame. Let's try another path, eh?

4:25pm
I'm actually surprised that I didn't have to start over from the beginning of the game, and I'm even more shocked that I was able to skip the cutscene. Of course, the whole game is basically a cutscene, so I'm really not gaining a whole lot.

Oh yeah, back to the story. So… I jump out of the airplane and glide to safety with an inflatable raft, but when a police officer stops me, I don't even try to get away? I just hopped out of an f'ing jet with no parachute, I think it would be within reason for me to try and take down Ranger Rick! I know, in this stupid universe the obvious choice was to plummet right over the edge of the waterfall. I can't wait to see what's in store for me next… .

Rafting fun, beastiality, and pig riding -- it's all in part three!