4:30pm
I'm a moron -- I turned off the Sega CD when I went to write my last update. That means I have to do everything over again. THAT IS WONDERFUL NEWS!

4:45pm
I'm now a pro at getting out of my house and skateboarding out of my neighborhood. I jumped out of the plane, went down the waterfall, grabbed onto a tree, and now I'm holding on for dear life.

4:46pm
Climbing down the tree kills me. Now I get to watch Ned jump out of the plane again. (I'm going to start trimming this video a bit so that none of you have to endure the same pain that I'm currently going through.)

4:47pm
Climbing up the tree kills me. I get to watch Ned jump out of the plane again.

4:48pm
Jumping off the raft and swimming for shore kills me. I get to watch Ned jump out of the plane again.

4:49pm
I guess I'll try to grab the tree and then press right. Hmmm, that worked, except for the "bear that wants to kill me" part. Playing dead seemed like the obvious choice here, although I'm 95-percent sure that the bear ended up raping me before it was all said and done. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Fine, you can watch.

4:54pm
I'll bet you a thousand dollars you can't guess where Ned ends up next.

4:55pm
If you said "In a Wild West saloon," you should be in a mental institution. You'd also be correct. I know that I probably shouldn't have hopped on that hog, but I just couldn't help myself (that's what she said).

4:58pm
You have no idea how intense that fight was in real life. Two button presses… I don't know how I managed to stay calm long enough to hit them both. God damn, that was exciting!

5:00pm
No matter what how I try to get out of this stupid saloon,  I always end up being apprehended by the sheriffs.  Actually, I don't really even care at this point; this game has crushed my free will. Take me to jail!

Go to page three for jail, jail, some more jail, and then more jail!