The following is an interview done with current Bitmob Staff Writer/Producer Michael Donahoe.
I'm meeting Michael Donahoe for our scheduled interview. We're meeting at Hooters, a fan-favorite place to watch WWE pay-per-view matches. I'm asked to arrive at 7:30 p.m. sharp, Michael Donahoe doesn't like waiting. I'm there 15 minutes early. Donahoe is late. When he arrives I introduce myself:
Me: Hi, I'm Jehosh-[Donahoe cuts me off]
Donahoe: Let's get ready to ruuuuuumble!
His breath smells of cheap booze and plastic action figures. The seams on his sleeves are slightly torn, they look like they've been sown back together. He has a black eye, a cut on his cheek. He's been in a fight recently. There's goat hair on his right wrist.
Me: Oh right! [nervous laughter]
Donahoe: Do you smell that?
Me: Smell what?
Donahoe: What the Hoe is cooking!
Me: ...[Donahoe laughs]
Donahoe: I love wrestling.
Me: Let's talk about Bitmob.
Donahoe: Sure.
Me: Would you say that you're surprised at the quality of writing that the Bitmobbers produce?
Donahoe: Yes and no.
Me: Care to elaborate?
Donahoe: Yeah, I mean, there are some fantastic writers, and luckily they've flocked to Bitmob and made it a great place to talk about videogames.
Me: I totally-- [Donahoe cuts me off...again]
Donahoe: I wasn't finished.
Me: Sorry, continue.
Donahoe: And I'm proud of them. My News Blips especially. It's hard work. Oh and when I used to do 5 Hit Points. [What happened to that?]
Me: ...
Donahoe: ...
Me: Are you done?
Donahoe: Excuse me?
Me: ...um, are you done...sir?
Donahoe: That does it!
At this point in the interview, Donahoe picks me up and and throws me to the ground. He jumps up on the nearest table and performs -- as I learned when a WWE fan screamed it out, mid-performance -- the Shooting Star Press.
Several Hooter's girls gang-tackled Donahoe, beating him with t-shirts and buffalo wings. He suffered a minor concussion. When I woke up, the interview was over, but the pain wasn't. Thanks to Donahoe I had two months of physical therapy and a pile of medical bills, not to mention the uncontrollable urge to cry when Friday Night Smackdown comes on.
Even though I got served, I enjoyed every second of my first Bitmob Editor interview.
