It's been a while since our last guessing game, so we hope you're not rusty. If so, polish that noggin and try to guess the video game character speaking below based on their five seemingly random clues. A correct guess earns you the right to pat yourself on the back. An incorrect guess earns you the dissatisfaction of knowing you're an idiot. Our advice: Shoot for the former.

Guess Who?

1. I'm always a little slow to start, but once I get moving, I'm faster than a rabbit. And a cheetah. And whatever animal is faster than a cheetah (if there is one).

2. People tell me never to burn bridges. Um, duh -- why the hell would I ever do that?

3. I may not have a pilot's license, but I don't clown around in the air. Safety first, I say.

4. Waterworld is such an underrated movie. Dennis Hopper is genius in it.

5. Being a single parent is tough sometimes. I really know how Octomom feels....

Who am I?

Continue after the break to find out.

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Don't you know royalty? I'm King Bowser from the Super Mario series, duh!