Life Has No Reset Button

Editor's note: Former Crispy Gamer and GameSpy Editor-in-Chief John Keefer has a somber message for us. Read his premortem thoughts below.... -Shoe

By the time you read this, I will be dead.

Yes, deader than the proverbial door nail. (How did that stupid expression come to be? It's amazing how existential you become at times like this.)

When a person gets to this point in their life, what questions do they ask? This is new for me, so bear with me as I put these thoughts down on paper. Perhaps this shouldn’t be done in such a public forum, but what the hell, you know? I'll be dead, and maybe someone can get some meaning from this.

How will it happen? That's a good one. A bullet, maybe? A sharp blade across a vital artery? Maybe it will be a jump with a high-impact ending. It could even be poison or the energy of a hundred suns passing through my body. Pills? Nah. Someone who has lived the type of life that I have usually doesn’t go that way. But no matter how it happens, the key is that it will happen. It's inevitable.

Where will it happen? Does it matter? It could be an open field with the sun on my face, or a darkened room where I can barely make out shadows against the wall. It could be in the mountains, by a lake, or even during one last shot at living this life to the fullest. But one place it won't happen is in my bed. Where's the adventure in that?

Will anyone miss me? I would hope so, but truthfully, probably not. There will be some anguish, but it won’t last long. The family may be sad, but they'll move on. The boss will find someone else to do what I was doing. The acquaintances I have made may ask themselves if they could have done something to prevent this, but they have their own scripts to follow. In the end, my death will mean little. Life will continue.

How did it come to this? Let me think...I really don’t know. I guess I wasn't properly prepared for everything that was thrown at me. That makes the most sense. A lot has happened in this life recently, and it started to feel like I just had no control. My brain said one thing, but my actions did something different. I know I should have handled things differently, but it's too late now. Maybe I can carry what I learned through to the next life.

Well, I feel the time is approaching, and I need to get my last few duties done before it happens. What's that? Do I have any regrets? No, I guess not. I believe in fate, and I guess my life was just fated to end this way. No pomp, no circumstance, no regrets. Fade to black and all that movie metaphor crap.

I'll see all of you again sometime, definitely in the next life. Hit the reset button or reload a save game. Such is the life of a video game avatar.

And while I have accepted my lot in death, I do wonder how others handle their situations. Do you get caught in situations that you know will fail, but go on because you feel like you have no control? Do you have a good team in place to help you complete your missions, but for some unknown reason, you don’t follow their directions? Do you rely on a reset button or save game that may never come?

Funny that now I'm thinking about how others feel and react to sometimes unwinnable situations. Maybe that's what this was supposed to be about.

The impetus for this short story came from an article I read by a Detroit Catholic priest where he pointed out that some young gamers carry the video game mentality into life when faced with tough tasks or difficult decisions. His point? Life has no reset button. An interesting thought to carry through to the New Year...

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Comments (22)

very strange article. but also rather brilliant. good show sir.

Ben Jones, January 04, 2010 01:37

John asked if we'd be interested in running this article, because it doesn't fit anywhere else he normally writes for. I'm quite pleased that Bitmob can be the place for alternative content like this. Like Ben says, it's a strange but great piece -- not everything has to be a "hands-on preview" or "first-look exclusive"! Although at least one person asked me if this was at all serious or not. Don't worry -- it isn't. Just a for-fun piece by an industry veteran. By the way, I choose the 100-suns death. That'd make for an impressive obituary.

Dan "Shoe" Hsu, January 04, 2010 02:09

I want to say nice article. Then again I don't think about a reset button, but who will take over the controller I leave behind.

Toby Davis, January 04, 2010 02:13

Yes, that moron was me. Apparently sleep deprivation and reading this on a cell phone do not make a good recipe for reading comprehension. That was awesome John. I actually started to worry about you for a few minutes.

Jay Henningsen, January 04, 2010 02:14

Thanks guys. That was the intent. I wanted to shock in the beginning and blur the lines between what was reality. There are clues as you go through that it might not be real, but it is easier to find them once you know the truth. Appreciate the feedback.

John Keefer, January 04, 2010 02:18

Hey John, very different and cool article. It was definitely fun to read and I'm happy that we got it on Bitmob. Maybe we'll see some more Keefer in the future.

Paul Gale, January 04, 2010 02:18

Great story. I'm absolutely terrified of death as well for the exact same reasons. Existential/religious debates aside, what if the afterlife was nothing but a huge void? The end of conscious thought? On the other hand, the thought of our consciousness still existing post-death, trapped within what was once our living, animate body creeps me out even more! But one thing's for sure -- cheesy as this may sound -- "reset buttons" sure as heck aren't handed out to dead people. They're free to use while you're still alive, though.

Ryan A. Rubis, January 04, 2010 03:33

The first time I read this I was kind of confused and not really sure how to take it. After knowing for sure that he's not actually dying I take it that most if not all of the death that he's talking about is in fact through video games. Great article(?)!

Ian Lucier, January 04, 2010 04:25

While life does not have a reset button, it sure would have come in handy.

Rich McGrath, January 04, 2010 04:35

Interesting...what was it about the priest's piece that really grabbed you, John? And what, if anything, in your life now may have influenced this? I'm very interested in learning the context of the piece.

Jason Wilson, January 04, 2010 04:58

... hey, on the bright side, death is one of the few things in life you can do laying down...

Joshua Garcia, January 04, 2010 05:47

I had something really funny I wanted to say here, but this article is serious flavored so I sadly resisted. Amazing article though, and a great read.

Chris Davidson, January 04, 2010 05:49

Mario has extra lives because his game would be too frustrating to play without them. I only have one so I can better cherish everything around me. Great article, John.

Mike Minotti, January 04, 2010 06:20

If you are Buddhist, you get infinite continues.

Andrew Hiscock, January 04, 2010 14:39

Interesting piece -- I followed your link to the priest's comments and I think his premise is flawed. The best environment to teach problem-solving skills is one in which you can reset and try again, thus allowing you to attempt another solution. If anything, games should make kids more likely to try new things because there's significantly less risk while learning. This should make them better prepared to make a decision when there are no retries precisely because they have experience. But the social relationships and academic lives of the kids are a completely different environment. Here, there are few (if any) retries and children have little experience. I don't believe these experiences are directly analogous to video games.

Rob Savillo, January 04, 2010 16:43

I really, really like this piece. I read it twice, the first time wondering if this is seriously real, and the second time I read it to pick up all of the subtle hints I missed the first time through. Plus, I think it's an awesome message.

Garret Staus, January 04, 2010 20:26

It was good, but I would have ended it with a numerical breakdown of life's gameplay, graphics, sound, presentation, and lasting appeal. Then follow it with an overrall score. Life: 7.9 (Not an average) ...Thought the comments needed a bit of humor.

Alex Gagne, January 05, 2010 00:22

How coincidental. By the time I finished reading your article, I was dead too! Haha, just joking. I was very much alive by the time I finished the article, and very interested in the points you brought up. As Andrew mentioned, people who believe in reincarnation get infinite resets on life. That sounds a lot more fun!

Spencer Gregory, January 05, 2010 04:20

How many Bitmobbers thought this was real at first? I'm just curious....

Dan "Shoe" Hsu, January 05, 2010 19:15

@Shoe My thoughts were more focused on the writer's frame of mind than anything else. What was their intention? What was their state of mind?

Jason Wilson, January 05, 2010 19:39

How many Bitmobbers thought this was serious and morbid at first? I'm just curious....

At first I didn't think it was, as I continued reading I became curious as to whether or not it was the real deal. I kept telling myself "probably not", though.

Garret Staus, January 05, 2010 20:01

Well, when someone starts off an article with "By the time you read this, I will be dead." I tend to think it's pretty serious. I didn't realize the gimmick until; "Such is the life of a video game avatar." Great article.

Michael Pangelina, January 05, 2010 21:55

WHAT THE HECK IS A BITMOB?