Duke Nukem Forever is a man’s game, featuring the manliest of men, doing the most masculine of manly things. If this game were any more macho, it would effortlessly steal your girlfriend, donate both of its kidneys to Keith Richards, punch a megalodon in the gills, bring peace to the Middle East, tattoo a fist on the inner lining of its gut, cure male-pattern flabbiness, and wash itself with petroleum and broken shards of fiberglass -- twice a day. Hail to the king, baby.
Video Blips:
• Duke Nukem Forever follows an important tradition in the series: featuring badass guns, hot babes, and an overinflated ego. This game doesn’t seem to apologize for its less-than-proper attitude. Considering all the complaints it’s bound to get from soccer moms and feminist groups, the week of June 14 is going to be very interesting.
After the break, take a look at the story arc for F.E.A.R. 3, the world of Charr in Guild Wars 2, and the launch trailer for Conduit 2.
• In F.E.A.R. 3, there's a bit of bad blood between siblings, along with the return of Alma’s antics. Children are portrayed so creepily in horror stories. Aren’t they supposed to be chipper and innocent? Girls like Alma make a vasectomy seem like less of a bad idea.
• Guild Wars 2 will feature a vast setting that fantasy enthusiasts are sure to love. Practically every fantasy-related game or movie screams Lord of the Rings to me now, but I can’t help but be drawn in to such limitless and imaginative worlds. Everything in this video looks like it’s just meant to ruin lives. Fantastic!
• Conduit 2 has gotten some pretty decent reviews, so far. While the Wii isn’t exactly the place to go for your first-person shooter fix, if you really need to shoot something, then perhaps this game isn’t a bad alternative. Some of the gun designs look great, I’ll admit. They remind me of Turok: Dinosaur Hunter.
