Editor's note: We were fully in the grip of E3 when this mock profile of Mario was first posted, so we totally missed it -- in case you did, too, we're promoting it now. (Oh, and if any lawyers are reading and it's not already completely clear, this is a parody.) -Demian

I'm standing at the intersection of Warp Pipe and Vine, and I can hear the subject of my latest interview before I see him. About a block away, I can hear his 150 cc golden car power slide through a red light, and the characteristic slot machine sound of a power up queuing up as he bowls through an Item Box. He skids to a halt directly in front of me as I jump back from the curb.
"Get the fuck in, I got a Golden Mushroom here, and we got to let the lead out." The attitude is betrayed by a singsong farce of an Italian accent.
I jump into the back seat and with a "Let's a-go!" we are gone with a perfectly timed starter boost.
For better or worse, this is a day in the life of videogames' most famous character, Mario.
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