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Trying to keep up with all of the downloadable games and content that's out there these days is enough to make a person cry. But cry no more, because Download Lowdown is here to help. Each week I'll sift through the good, the bad, and the weird to help you get the most from your game system of choice without leaving your house. Plus, if you read now I'll also toss in some choice (usually less-than-helpful) quotes from folks around the Internet at absolutely no extra charge! This week I get in touch with my inner-Mongol, hang out on Big Surf Island, get crushed in Scrabble, save you money on classic Genesis games, and force myself to think about the original Killzone again.
Scrabble
Systems: iPhone, PC
Price: $4.99 on iPhone and free on the PC via Facebook
The Lowdown: Playing Scrabble on Facebook seemed like a pretty good idea. After all, I'm a writer and words are how I make my living. Then I started playing and found out that all my friends have top-secret arsenals of fancy-pants words in their vocabularies that they don't use in normal conversation. If they keep dropping "muzjiks," "latigo," and "quezals" on me much longer, I'm going to beat one of them senseless with a dictionary.
That said, I can't stop playing the game. In fact, getting my butt kicked for free on the PC wasn't enough so I spent $5 on the iPhone version. Not only does it connect with Facebook so that you can continue your matches while on the road, but you can also take on the CPU and sharpen your game with a cool teaching tool.
What the iPhone reviews say:
The Meat King doesn't explain what will happen to me if I listen to these people, and now I'm terrified: "Really good game. Don't listen to people who don't like the game."
Zoe X James Dad just might be lying about his Scrabble prowess: "i found this ignorant word trivia upsetting. it did not meat my standard intllegense i am man of lorge iQ an i need good scrabble this is no it dont like it much i win all the time!"
TheAdamBerbs loves the game, but gave it one star because of its icon. Seriously, he did: Scrabble for the iPhone is great, but come on! What's with the awful app icon? The clean look of Apple's apps and the simple yet effective icons from other developers gives the iPhone that much more aesthetic pleasure."
Burnout Paradise: Big Surf Island
Systems: PS3, 360
Price: $13
The Lowdown: Burnout Paradise is the rare game that delivers compelling downloadable content of both free and premium varieties. Big Surf Island adds a whole new area, eight new cars, and lots of new challenges. Who wouldn't like that? EA CEO John Riccitiello, that's who. He took the opportunity to bitch to Kotaku because Criterion had the nerve to focus on free content early rather than immediately bleeding consumers (who had just paid $60 for the game) dry. Pipe down, grinch!
What GameFaqs says:
Rareware101 tries to make a legitimate point: "It's a great addition to the game, and a lot of fun freeburning with friends... but I'm not sure it's worth the price. I suppose it's good value when you compare it to the other DLC, I just wish there were more challenges and the place was a bit bigger."
Smoke0 uses the very strong "It's cheaper than popcorn chicken" defense: "$13 is too much for 4.5 hours worth of entertainment? It costs less than two large things of popcorn chicken from KFC. Either you somewhat regret buying pretty much everything or you hold video games to some crazy high standard. Regardless of which, you're wrong."
Rareware101 doesn't take that kind of talk lying down: "Opinions are wrong eh? Hmmm..."
Smoke0 replies and continues to send the thread further into oblivion: "They sure can be. Examples could be given but it's so far off topic they can be left alone."
Genghis Khan 3
System: Wii Virtual Console
Price: $8
The Lowdown: Is there anything better than a 16-year-old historical simulation for the SNES? Not according to the press release which tells me I can "Unite the scattered Mongol tribes under your banner and conquer the world as Genghis Khan!" and "Choose from two riveting scenarios: Mongolia and all of Eurasia!" This sounds thrilling, but is there more? "As your rivals look enviously upon your domain, you must struggle to weather the assaults of your opponents and carve out a living for your people." Hot damn, why am I writing this and not carving out a living for scattered Mongol tribes?!
What Twitter says:
Mr. Khan had something important to say, but he seems to have dozed off: "This game intrigues me..."
ShannonRawls will conquer the world with random worthless "ShanFacts": "ShanFacts: 1) the warrior Ghengis Khan died while having sex. 2) it's illegal to be a prostitute in Italy if your name is Mary."
closer2mydreamz is trying to tell us something. If anyone can figure it out, let me know: "there is a lil Ghengis Khan in us all,so don't B surprised if power is 1 of yr goals,but think how 2 use yr goal in a constructive way."
Assorted Sega Genesis Games
Systems: Xbox 360
Price: 400 points each ($5)
The Lowdown: Hey there suckers friends! Paying $30 for Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection and its 40 classic Genesis games is a great deal, but do you know what an even worse better deal is? Spending $25 to buy five of those games individually via Xbox Live Arcade! Yep, you can download Altered Beast, Comix Zone, Phantasy Star 2, Shinobi, and Sonic The Hedgehog 3 (all of which are in the Genesis Collection) for $5 a pop if you're terrible with your money a savvy investor that recognizes a great deal!
OK, enough sarcasm. Here's what you do: Buy the Genesis Collection and download Gunstar Heroes, which is the one game you can't get on the disc. Yep, that's the ticket.
What Major Nelson's commenters say:
Exu is clearly in the "Sega does what Nintendon't" camp: "To be this good takes SEGA."
RidinSlow just got his badge from the Grammar Police and isn't afraid to use it: "This whole 'i can haz' thing is really bad. Are we seriously moving towards a society similar to that in the movie Idiocracy? This phrase is more grammatically incorrect than ‘i got my hair did.'"
Echtzeit posted this during a short break in his anger management class: "I swear, if I hear one more time 'ripoff' and 'buy the Collection, it's cheaper' in this context, I will hurt that motherf****r. Just STFU already!"
Killzone 2 - Flash & Thunder Map Pack
System: PS3
Price: $5.99
The Lowdown: According to Sony, the Beach Head and Southern Hills maps that comprise this latest map pack are two "fan favorites" from the original Killzone. I can't verify this statement as I played the first game enough to review it and quickly got it the hell out of my life. I'm also skeptical that fans of the original Killzone even exist, but I'm going to let it slide just this once.
What the PlayStation Blog commenters say:
IrishPete333's actually posted this second, which made it even lamer: "I am just commenting so no one has a chance to say first, I hate that."
KazeEternal is still new to this "Internet" thing. Go easy on him: "Wait wait wait.... I'm feeling a tad retarded at the moment."
SOOPERGOOMAN187 has a pretty one-sided feud going with a Sony employee and don't you forget it: "I'm still waiting for an apology from when you lashed out at me on the GAP forums back during the Liberation Beta.... I still haven't nor in the future will I buy any games that you are involved in until said apology happens. ON THE FORUMS for all to see."
That's it for this week's Download Lowdown. This column is still a work in progress, so if you have any ideas, criticism, or praise, post it in the comments below. See you next week!
