The Dating Persona

As many who follow the Geekbox podcast know, I date quite a bit for...well, for a self-proclaimed geek who's a regular on a nerd-fueled podcast named the Geekbox. But I recently had a bit of an epiphany as to why a lot of these dates don't end quite the way I'd like.

Nerdy Japanese dating sims might be sabotaging my dating life.

I'm a huge fan of Atlus' Persona series, which revolves around various relationship aspects (including dating) at a Japanese high school. And I spend a good portion of my professional life these days editing Japanese dating-sim text. Plus, even "traditional" JRPGs like Dragon Quest and Star Ocean throw some light relationship elements into the mix. But since RPG nerds aren't usually the most socially gregarious folks to begin with, is all this pretend dating really healthy for our real-life relationships?

For a long time, I've felt that the romantic-comedy "romance montages" were dating poison, because they imply that dating is nothing more than nebulous "chemistry" set to a cheesy Phil Collins soundtrack. We don't really see the effort these people put into getting to know each other. Real relationships take work -- you can't just show up for a date, hope for the Phil Collins to kick in in the background, and magically charm a girl. It's so much more complex than movies lead us to believe. And I get a similar vibe with a lot of these dating sims. In order to build relationships with the object of your affection, you simply bribe them with gifts or make plans to hang out with them. There's no effort to actually get to know these people as three-dimensional characters.

For example, if you want to date (and eventually have sex with) martial-arts chick Chie Satonaka in Persona 4, all you have to do -- for all intents and purposes -- is stalk her. It doesn't really matter what dialogue options you select when you hang out with her -- just keep heading up to her favorite hangout on the roof after school, invite her to get together, and she'll eventually find her way to your bedroom.

Somehow, I think anyone who attempted to woo a real-life Chie with that kind of behavior would end with a kung-fu kick to the nether regions.

But since dating aspects are only a part of most of these RPGs, there's not really enough time to forge realistic relationships with these characters. Hell, even if Chie's my "girlfriend" in Persona 4, it's only when the cut-scene shows her in my bedroom -- as far as the story's concerned, we're not even together. But is it possible to take these relationship-based games to the next level? Can they go beyond bribery and simple menu selections? Or are they a welcome break from the complexity of real life? I can see both sides, but part of me definitely would like to see dating -- and relationships of all kinds, really -- dealt with in a far more realistic fashion in games.

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Comments (11)

My guess is that it will come down to the writing and ability of the game to tell a realistic and touching story between two characters. But i think the question "Why isn't there a more in-depth dating sim with under age japanese schools girls in mainstream gaming?" pretty much answers itself...

Matthew, July 24, 2009 16:16

But what if the virtual girl in my video game says no? I'm not sure if I can take that kind of rejection... In all seriousness though, I definitely think it would be interesting if more games at least attempted to portray dating and relationships in a more realistic manner. This reminds me of an article I read on here a little while ago, which discussed the role of female characters in games, and how most are treated like female McGuffins; items to be acquired. You know what I'd like to see though? A big blockbuster title with a grand storyline, and two main characters blasting through the action together. A male and a female, or a male and a male, whatever floats your boat. Throughout the game you can interact with the other character (depending on which you choose) and develop a relationship. Hell, throw co-op into this and you've got a great game to play with your significant other as well. Like Half-Life 2, but with your girlfriend playing as Alyx.

K. M. Fox, July 24, 2009 18:48

So when the mainstream media says that video games create killers by acting as murder training, gamers immediately point out what a horrible argument that is, but a games writer can, with impunity, claim that games trained him to be a bad date? I thought we were supposed to be able to tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

Jeff, July 25, 2009 11:30

You ever watched the Pick-Up Artist on VH1? Not only does he have great advice but I'm 99% sure he is a huge JRPG nerd. He even gives these 5 esoteric emblems to the winning contestants that would fit right into a dating game. I think the Sims games handle relationships pretty accurately. I certainly screwed up enough times to have it resemble my reality somewhat. Except there aren't any Russian brides in Simsworld...

Allistair Everett, July 25, 2009 12:28

Oh and he dresses up as a FFX character!

Allistair Everett, July 25, 2009 12:29

I think the difference is that we all know that any medium we are exposed to will affect our behavior, but here the behavioral differences and much more subtle. With the "murder simulation", the concept and circumstances are so out of the norm for people that it's unlikely that anyone will learn or apply anything from something that has no meaningful context. With Persona, seeing how boys and girls interact with one another is something that has a very realistic context, so it is much easier to learn and (especially) apply mannerisms from something more in line with reality. I would say the something like Persona does in fact have a greater power in affecting people's minds than manhunt all because of context.

Suriel Vazquez, July 25, 2009 16:10

Mr Andrew Finch's comments regarding relationships and the way the media presents the process to us as over simplified is true. I agree that romantic comedies "imply that dating is nothing more than nebulous "chemistry" set to a cheesy Phil Collins soundtrack". That's possibly why so many people struggle with the perception of their own real relationship when it is inherently out classed by the image embedded by Hollywood-picture-perfect relationships. Ultimately, Mr Finch's request for a more realistic approach to dating could be applied to the current issue of sex in video games - are we over simplifying these unique human process?

Christopher Quach, July 26, 2009 02:13

Come to think about it, what part of any video game resembles real life to begin with? I don't remember curb stomping being so morally or physically simple. And, boy-o, I've done a lot of curb stomping back in my middle school years. They called me Lil' Curb Stomper and every day at recess the kids would cheer, "STOMP ONE OUT! STOMP ONE OUT!" :sniffz: I miss middle school.

Allistair Everett, July 26, 2009 04:49

I would love it if fitch stopped talking about his dating life. It is incredibly uninteresting, and has made him come off as misogynistic more than once.

Lucas Goudie, July 26, 2009 06:04

Fitch, you guys ought to post pictures of the girls you date in the show notes. Otherwise, its no fun!

Omar Yusuf, July 26, 2009 22:17

Fitch, you need to stop writing and talking about your love life. No-one believes you, and every time you mention it, you come off as more desperate, maladjusted, and virginal than the last time. And by the way, no, playing Japanese dating games didn't warp your perceptions of girls, your warped perceptions of girls made you play Japanese dating games.

Tetsuo Ogawa, July 27, 2009 07:59

WHAT THE HECK IS A BITMOB?